Happy belated birthday images

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Happy researching!

Celebrated my 34th birthday yesterday and continual sobriety and as I navigate a divorce process my ex and I have been trying to talk more and de-escalate a lot of things between us… and the sad thing is spending the day with her and my 10 month old daughter… I finally realized how much I screwed up my life with alcohol and pot and cheating and using all of that to overcome years of bullying and abuse. I finally got almost everything I ever wanted while simultaneously having this Hamilton complex occur and I finally realized… I was the villain of my own story. Almost everything “bad” that happened after 18… my biggest fuck ups or mistakes… Were substance related.
I know there’s a lot of things that happened to me that were inexcusable. Even in my marriage my wife was far from perfect… But I truly see I lost everything in a sense… But my redemption has been owning it. I’m doing everything to fix my mistakes. My daughter is going to know her dad is fighting for her. I write her letters every day… I snapped during covid and see that I took a life people would KILL for and lived every day miserable and burned it down.
I also realized how poorly I’ve treated my ex for years. Again, we both were so miserable and immature… But I look back and see how self righteous I was and used that as an excuse to just give up. Sadly I actually have been falling back in love with her.
I don’t feel I deserve redemption. I don’t feel I deserve a happy ending. Honestly I want to die a lot of days. But I have a baby girl who I want to show I am trying and fighting for. She saved what little of my soul I have left. And to my ex… I can see she loves me still on some level. We’ve talked about starting over after the divorce. But I shattered her. I shattered myself. But alcohol is never an option ever again. My vice has truly been things in excess and I’m going to be better every day to them… to others I’ve hurt… I’ve been trying…
I just wish the pain would stop. I wish people could see what happened to me to at least understand I’m a human under my worst moments. I know I have been turning it all around, but I feel like my soul is just tainted.
Happy birthday to me lol. Growing the Hell up sucks.

Cut my parents off or not?
TLDR: My relationship with my parents is like a rollercoaster ride. Something pisses them off, they get super angry and passive aggressive, then I apologise, then its okay for a while... not for long though.
A few things I've lived with that make me want to cut them off.

• Favouritism: youngest is spoiled. My sister can take whatever she wants from me because she's "family". She would steal my things without asking, mess with me like turn off AC to my room, etc. Petty things. I used to share a red car with my younger spoiled sister. I paid for the car's rego, maintenance, petrol etc.. Sister uses it and doesn't ask me just takes it. She took it one day when I booked an appointment for a tyre change. Parents took her side. I buy my own car to avoid arguing with my sister. The red car is now my sister's. Sister crashes car. She leaves keys in car and it gets stolen. No punishment. Luckily, the police found it again. My parents gave my sister my car keys without telling me while I was interstate. She gets car accidentally locked in a private garage while out with friends. Luckily I get it back a few days after I fly back.
• My dad is a weirdo: a few times my dad has had fits of anger, its worse when my mum isn't around. He would come home and start yelling and screaming and throwing things. I've had to leave the house a few times out of fear.
• Conditional love: When I got a scholarship, my parents wanted my money. Verbal abuse, accusations, gaslighting made me eventually give it to them. They were happy and things went back to normal for awhile. Recently, I took my parents out for a fancy dinner for mothers day. My mum was happy. Not long after, they asked for my savings. I politely declined. Verbal abuse, accusations, gaslighting. I haven't given in to them this time. Once again argument after argument, ups then downs. I don't know whether my mental health can handle it. It also goes to show that no matter what I do for them, like take them out for birthdays, buy groceries, help with bills and rent, they will never unconditionally love me. It all comes down to money.

Some say AP show love with food. Sure, my mum cooked for me growing up. I'm grateful for some things like cheap rent, food growing up... material things like a phone I guess. I've thought about getting a psychologist, but its expensive... and I know my parents are the reason for my stress and mental health issues. I've finally been able to buy a place and am moving out in a few months. Should I tell them? What if they start treating it like its their house? I know if I cut them off, they will disinherit me, they threatened me with this when I said I wouldn't give them my savings. But I don't really want their money. Its slightly upsetting that my spoiled sister will probably get the house which is worth over a mil, but oh well, money doesn't buy happiness. And I'm able to survive on my own.

My MoH and I have known each other for 5 years and developed a strong connection like no other, but then she moved to a different country 4 years ago. Since she moved, we have only called once and only communicate via memes, honestly. We aren’t at each other’s milestones, we forget each other’s birthdays and we haven’t seen each other in 4 years (covid, then she enrolled in the army, then I started my PhD….). She has never met my fiance, and I have never spoken with her boyfriend. We had always said we would be each other’s MoH, and when I got engaged I asked her and she was ecstatic, and also said I would have to absolutely be hers when her time comes around.
I didn’t know what it meant to be MoH when I asked her. I also didn’t/don’t have plans to have bridesmaids. However, I have since gone wedding dress shopping without my MoH, venue hunting without her, we haven’t talked one bit about the wedding since, and she hasn’t really asked. There is a 12 hour time difference and we both have busy careers, so I haven’t blamed her, and the wedding is still 1.5 years away. I have a colleague and also close friend, let’s call her Meg. Meg was more than happy to join me on my dress hunt, taking time off work to do so, and she is putting a lot of effort into knowing my fiance. She has been extremely helpful with throwing out ideas for the wedding theme and cake design, and while she understands I have a MoH and it is also just a title, she would love to help when she can.
I have gotten closer with Meg during the past 6 months, she’s such a wonderful person, and I would love for her to be more involved and stand there with me as I say my vows. She has also attended many weddings so she knows all the procedures, she is very organised (think Monica from friends), knows some of the other guests and has the same taste in everything bridal as I do. On the other hand, my MoH doesn’t like to wear dresses and I won’t have time to teach her how to bustle and fan my dress as she might be arriving the day before, and she won’t know anybody else at the wedding besides her boyfriend. I still love her very much and need her support on the day. However, I also think it would be rude to both parties to have Meg be so involved when she’s not the MoH.
I wasn’t planning on having bridesmaids and just have a low-key wedding with no bachelorette party etc, but now I might want a bridal shower, want someone who knows both me and my fiancé to give a speech and someone who can be with me each step of the way as the wedding planning evolves. With my crazy dress and wedding style choices, it will also be a hectic day, and I don’t have other friends or sisters I value enough to be as involved, and my mother isn’t interested in the wedding and have said she prefers to sit on the sidelines on the day. Would the bridesmaids be more involved than MoH at the wedding? What is the etiquette in this case?

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I have a friend. But she didn't even wish me a happy birthday today. I don't want to feel sad on my birthday. I don't know how to feel. She didn't even show up... I thought we are best friends for life. That's how I always thought of her. Am I overeacting again? Am I being too negative or emotional? Also am I her friend or not?.....

I just recently last year began contact with my mom after 6 years of not seeing or hearing from her..
I've recently (since February) been very busy and have let family know I won't be able to get on Facebook as much and as soon as her husband's (not my father)
Birthday rolls around, I wasn't online to say happy birthday to him (even though he never likes ANY of my posts or pics of my kids, but he hearts all my distant family and cousins shit )
So literally the next day she changed her profile pic to a picture of her ra**** son (he m******* me until I was 8 and finally grew a backbone) my mom has a rocky relationship with her son, so this pic was not recent (there was no other reason for her to change her profile pic to him!)
She doesn't like to talk About my real dad, she says it gives her PTSD..yet she knows exactly what her son did to me and she pulls this shit.
I pretended not to notice, and posted again that I was sorry I am not available as often and then she seen it and quickly changed her pic back....this was in March and I still feel sick thinking about it...
During the no contact period I did contact her in 2018 to finally tell her what her son did to me as I was growing up, because he showed up to my house and creepily left an old photo album on my porch and I thought it might have been my mom, I told her I don't want her weirdo so around my house or family
All she had to say when I told her was "things would have been different if you'd had told me"
So she basically victim blamed me on top of gaslighting because she has no fuckin spine and would have just said "don't tell your dad" back in the day even if I did tell her.
I feel like shit

Usually after a good day i’d end up ruing it by fapping but today was actually good since i didn’t fap. Today I went out to eat with family since it’s my aunts birthday. Not only that I talked to my friend K again but I didn’t vent to her today but we just joked around. But tomorrow i know my happiness will be drained for tomorrow is teh big day if i can brak my relapse loop. Pray for me brothers, and pray that i can reach higher than my previous streak.

To lay out some context, my family got a puppy for my 4th birthday (Jessie). When she was about 6, we got another dog (eevee) from the animal shelter, she was very skittish and we think she came from an abusive home. Jessie and Eevee loved each other and Eevee was always very playful and energetic with her. Eevee’s light brown coat darkened and she looked much happier than before. They were together for about 5 or 6 years until Jessie died in 2020. This obviously hit eevee hard and she stopped eating and obviously stopped playing. It went on like this until almost a year ago now when we got a new puppy (Jack). We were hoping he could be a “replacement” for Jessie and would fill the hole Jessie left her with. He did not. She hates this dog. The first few weeks she would growl and snap at this PUPPY. She even bit our cat thinking it was Jack. Anyways, she still doesn’t eat hardly at all and she rarely ever plays. I’ve noticed that she has no noticeable personality and I feel like she’s still missing Jessie. Is this even possible? I feel like dog emotions aren’t complicated enough to last this long. If it is possible, how do I fix it?? Is that possible??? I’m so sad and confused, she was so happy before.

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I, 25M, have been together with my 22F girlfriend for 6 years. It was a good relationship. She is the most truthful person I have ever met, although she can be pretty cold. But that's just her nature, and it never really bothered me.
Exactly one year ago, I lost my sanity and embarked on a journey towards inevitable doom. I was on vacation with our friends while my girlfriend had to stay at home due to work-related reasons. However, she insisted that I should go.
For whatever reason, I started to develop feelings for her best friend, who is also 22 years old (let's call her X). I have known X for 6 years, but I had never seen her in that way before. On the first day, I kissed her. The day after, we kind of hooked up, although I stopped right before we had sex. I guess it was my integrity's last outcry before perishing.
Six months passed, which turned out to be the worst 6 months of my life, and I knew I deserved it. During another vacation, X kissed me again, but I pulled away.
One week after the second vacation, our friend group went to a fair near X's apartment. We got wasted and had sex. In hindsight, it was awful, but sadly, I discovered that sex can also be gentle and emotional. You see, my girlfriend's emotions are pretty sparse.
Two months passed, and it was X's birthday. We got drunk, and she suggested that my girlfriend and I should sleep over in her spare room. As the night progressed, my girlfriend and X went to sleep, while I had my last drink with some other friends. I went into the spare room, got undressed, and lied down next to my girlfriend. As I started cuddling with her, I noticed that it wasn't my girlfriend but, in fact, X. It turned out that when they went to sleep, X had said to my girlfriend that we should use her own room instead, since it had a bigger bed, and that I was informed. However, I was not. It turns out she's just as shady as I am. We had sex again while my girlfriend was sleeping in the next room.
I can only describe it as getting a small parasite implanted. Now it was growing fast, and I started to fall in love with X.
I certainly knew my relationship with my girlfriend was over, and I was making efforts to end it with her in the most sensitive way possible. I planned on telling her the truth, everything. I prepared for the fallout, our friend group bursting apart, etc.
Then, X messed up. Badly. She decided to hook up with her Uncle in Law. The family found out, and chaos ensued. But who am I to judge, right? I was in full damage-control mode and decided to cut ties with her. Her family was shattered, and she was living in exile, now together with her freshly divorced ex-Uncle. I decided to wait a bit longer for the big reveal, since my girlfriend was shocked to see her best friend doing such horrible things.
Oh, and her birthday present? A vacation to the same location where we were exactly one year ago. My girlfriend, me, X, and one person of her choice. And who did she choose? Good old ex-Uncle.
Now, let's fast forward to last week. In the process of getting absolutely shitfaced, X met some of her old friends from school, and they decided to join us. It got late, and X, my girlfriend, and Mr. Uncle went back to the hotel while I was paying the bill. I decided to follow them but got stopped by one of X's friends. We decided to have one last drink, and in return, she would accompany me on my way back to make sure I don't drown in a random puddle. It would have been a good way to pay for my actions, I guess. As we were walking, she was complaining about how I looked at her and how she wanted me to go to her place instead. On the other hand, it wouldn't be worth it, yadada... I decided that I had enough and that I was going to walk alone for the rest of the way.
As I said goodbye, she kissed me, and I went for it.
Yesterday, she told X, and X called me and lectured me about how I could never do that because of my girlfriend (oh, the irony...). Afterwards, I told my girlfriend. I was ready for the great shitshow. I also intended to tell her about X. But as I was done with X's school friend, my girlfriend did something she had never done before. She hugged and caressed me. She told me that it was okay and that she was happy that I told her, although it hurt her. I wasn't able to tell her about X after that. I never deserved her. I betrayed her in the worst ways possible. And yet, there I was, laying on her lap, crying my eyes out. What a fucking shame.
I don't know when my mentality started to shift. I was raised to be honest and moral. I always adored my parents. They came together very early and always stayed together. I wanted the same. But now, I am the opposite and will never be able to have peace of mind for the rest of my days. And I know that I deserve it.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, I guess. Don't be like me.
Thanks for listening.

I dont know if i was a good husband, but I tried. My (36m) soon-to-be-exwife (35f) and I have/had been together for 15 years. we dated for 5, were married for 10. Communication for us wass alwas a bit rocky, I have ADHD and communication is a weak point of mine that i've always been working on since even before we were married. I made it a point to never lose my cool, or let me anger get the better of me in our relationship, though when we did have argeuements, she would always start to insult me personally to try and provoke a response. example would be: "well who else would want someone as heavy as you?" or "you should feel insecure about your pen-15." or one time "i fucked my best friend and he was so much better than you" immediately followed by 'i did mean it, i was only trying to hurt your feelings." (As an aside, I have confirmed with that friend that she in-fact did not sleep with him and he said he thought she was a better person than that). That was the rough stuff, but we had plenty of good times too, and I can say I loved her with all my heart. We have a beautiful little girl together, and she is the apple of my eye.
I supported my wife when her mom passed away, I was there to support her when a friend SA'd her. I had friends come out as trans-women and i set boundaries with them, because my wife wasn't comfortable with me being close friends with women. (this one hurt me to my core as a person, I'm trying to mend relationships now)
About a year ago, we moved across the country (USA, from NC to SF, California) for her job. She was offered her dream job, so I gave up my career and moved us away from everything we knew. instead of going back to work, she wanted me to try to be a stay at home dad for a little while, until we got settled. Things felt good at first until she started going to the clubs. She met this guy, 10 years older than us, and same first name as me. He was also from back east, but lived in the city now too, and worked in her field albiet for a different place. They hit it off right away and I started feeling uncomfortable. She would stop cuddling me to answer txts from him. when she would answer txts from him, she would hold her phone at this awkward 90 degree angle away from me. She would leave me daughter and I to have dinner alone with him. Then after about 2 months she would dissapear for the entire night to be "partying with friends" and wouldnt come home until 4 or 5 in the morning.
I may struggle with communication, but I notice patterns. I started having anxiety attacks at night while she was out. She started doing drugs (not shit from a dispensary, just w/e gummy or shroom she was handed at the club). she would say she was going to spend the night at a mutual friends house cause she lived over 40 min away, while i wasnt always sure, i wanted to trust her cause she was my wife. One weekend, she didnt tell me she was staying at anyones house, she didnt come home, and it was so unlike her to not let me know what her plans were that i started to panic. I called her frantically at 6am trying to find out where she was, called some of her friends, said they last saw her at the club. she called me back at 630 to tell me she was at Ns house (i already asked N if she knew where wife was), and that they just fell asleep cause they were really drunk. begins telling friends and family "oh man last weekend I fucked up big time." about how she fell asleep at a friends house w/o updating me about her plans. (I promise I'm not controlling, I just like to stay informed of the plan. does that make me sound more controlling?) next weekend, she leaves work on friday to go party, doesn't come home until 5 am Monday morning. No calls, no idea where she is. she comes home and I'm awake and in a full blown anxiety attack. She tells me "you have a lot of nervous energy, I feel like the best way for you to get it out is to hit me." Im shocked, why would she say that, I tell er as much, im not going to hit her, I love her I can't even to begin to comprehend the idea of hurting her. I tell her the next day, I'm not comfortable with her relationship with her guy friend. She tells me they had dinner one night to discuss their mutual attraction towards eachother and how they were going to deal with it, but that she wasnt going to stop being friends with him, he made her feel safe at the club. I pointed out how she made me set boundaries with my trans friends and she said "i was terrible for that but ive grown to realize how wrong of me that was. You need to grow too." I start therapy.
Come valentine's day, I order about $300 of flowers to be delivered to herr office. Our 10 year anniversary is around the corner and I have an artist friend painting a portrait of us from our wedding day. The week before our 10 year she tells me she doesnt want to be married any more. I ask her if she;s in a relationship with Guy. She says "I dont want to tell you because I dont know how you will react." I say, if the answer is "no: then I wont have anythig to react to, and she stays quiet. I get mad, I yell at her for about 20-30 min, she's in tears because she's never seen me this angry before, despite that fact i felt like I held a lot of my anger back. I never insulted her, just a lot of "how could you do this to me?" and "you moved me across the country just to dump me."
She moved out of our apartment a week later. She comes home on my birthday to have a "work from home day" but ignores me the entire day. her birthday comes around and asks me if I can make something special for dinner and out of habit like an idiot I agree. I made her special dinner and cake my daughter and I sing her happy b-day and she leave to go party with Guy.
She only sees my daughter usually once a week, for about 2-3.5 hours a week, and asks me to leave the home while she;s visiting. My daughter refers to mommy a "gone."
Ex has been staying with friends and co-workers, telling them I'm too scary to be around, and that I'm mean and hurtful.
If you've made it this far, guys, i feel broken. Holy shit I 've never felt this hurt before in my life. I know I can't but I really want to scoop my child up and take her back across the country. Now my Ex is saying she wants to spend more time with our daughter but doesnt know how to ask me. You've known me for over 16 years, and your job has a focus on conflict resolution, either you never paid attention to me or you suck at your job if you cant figure it out.
I have so much hate an animosity towards this woman that I loved, and feeling this way hurts me to my core. I have no outlet or support system over here, almost all of my friends and family are back east. Im looking for work now, but its starting over again at ground level. I have no connections our here or network. I keep asking myself what did I do to drive her away? Was I not fun enough? We cant both go to the club, someone has to stay with our 7 y/o. The club was never my scene anyway. I feel terrible cause I feel the love I had for this woman turning to hate and vitriol and that's not the kind of person I am, its not who i want to be. We moved to the city in June last year, and I believe the affair started in Sept. Therapist thinks I have "PTSD from years of narcistic abuse." How could she throw away 15 years together in 2-3 months? I'm at such a loss, and I have to keep masking how I feel for the sake of my daughter, Oh, her AP collects street rats as pets too, like real f'n upgrade there. This ast paragraph is about as jumbled as my brain atm. I have to stay strong for my daughter's sake. Thanks for letting me vent, Reddit.
TLDR: Wife moved family across country for her job, just to have an affair after a few months. Now I feel bad about myself for feeling bad.