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Divorce Lawyer Charleston SC
2016.09.25 15:03 hajaja9 Divorce Lawyer Charleston SC
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2014.03.14 06:31 billiegoad Because anonymous advice is still better than going it alone in family court.
Welcome to Divorce_Men. This is a sub where we can discuss the legal, financial and social issues men face in divorce. We are not necessarily lawyers; one of the first pieces of advice you will receive is to **consult with your attorney**.
2023.03.22 16:57 alexj5566 Hired MA Lawyer did not even read Statute before court, and as a result person was falsely imprisoned for 8 days before a new Lawyer corrected issue
Trying to keep this fairly straightforward, although more information is available.
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Police arrest someone in Massachusetts for two counts of a crime punishable by as little as "a fine of not less than $1,000 nor more than $10,000 ", which is stated in the police report.
However, this person was instead falsely charged with 2 counts of a crime in Massachusetts that are both punishable by: "state prison not less than 2 1/2 years not more than ten years." The issue being that the accused met the first two exemptions for the charged crime(s):
The lawyer did not press these facts and nobody involved in the courthouse even bothered to read the statute to see that the person could not be charged for these crimes. The person instead spent 8 days in jail on $500,000 bail, during which time they acquired proper counsel to get them released at the next court date (8 days later). The DA is choosing to not to even go after the original charges after they were corrected, and should be dismissed at a court date next month.
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How can this person be compensated from the first attorney for his clear negligence to put any effort into this case and spending 8 days in jail? There is probably close to no chance of getting the audio/video of the accused telling the lawyer to fight it while they were in holding. However, it takes about 30 seconds of googling the charged crime to find it on the Mass.Gov website and see that they meet the first two exemptions listed in the long list. The family of the accused were even able to easily find this information themselves and see it was incorrect, with no legal experience. The lawyer ignored all of this.
The new lawyer thinks they have a case but they do not handle these types of suits, and can give them a recommendation. It would be nice to do as much legwork as possible even if this third lawyer is hired, since this seems like a pretty obvious case of the first lawyer not even bothering to read the statute despite being told the inaccuracies by multiple people.
To make things worse, the person was heavily intoxicated (alcohol) in their own home, and despite the family telling the lawyer that they need medical attention to safely detox, the lawyer did and said nothing. The accused disclosed the issue of detox and prior health issues (heart related) to the court/jail, but they received little to no medical attention even with regards to existing medical issues. They spent the first 4 of the 8 days profusely vomiting, unable to stand, and unable to eat/drink anything even water without throwing it back up.
I appreciate everyone's input, thanks.
submitted by alexj5566 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
-----
Police arrest someone in Massachusetts for two counts of a crime punishable by as little as "a fine of not less than $1,000 nor more than $10,000 ", which is stated in the police report.
However, this person was instead falsely charged with 2 counts of a crime in Massachusetts that are both punishable by: "state prison not less than 2 1/2 years not more than ten years." The issue being that the accused met the first two exemptions for the charged crime(s):
(1) being present in or on his residence or place of business; orTheir family hired a lawyer, already at the courthouse, for the day for $2,000. While being held in the courthouse cell, the person explained to the lawyer that it did not make sense since the items in question were properly locked up in their home (not on person) and they were licensed to own them.
(2) having in effect a license to...
The lawyer did not press these facts and nobody involved in the courthouse even bothered to read the statute to see that the person could not be charged for these crimes. The person instead spent 8 days in jail on $500,000 bail, during which time they acquired proper counsel to get them released at the next court date (8 days later). The DA is choosing to not to even go after the original charges after they were corrected, and should be dismissed at a court date next month.
-----
How can this person be compensated from the first attorney for his clear negligence to put any effort into this case and spending 8 days in jail? There is probably close to no chance of getting the audio/video of the accused telling the lawyer to fight it while they were in holding. However, it takes about 30 seconds of googling the charged crime to find it on the Mass.Gov website and see that they meet the first two exemptions listed in the long list. The family of the accused were even able to easily find this information themselves and see it was incorrect, with no legal experience. The lawyer ignored all of this.
The new lawyer thinks they have a case but they do not handle these types of suits, and can give them a recommendation. It would be nice to do as much legwork as possible even if this third lawyer is hired, since this seems like a pretty obvious case of the first lawyer not even bothering to read the statute despite being told the inaccuracies by multiple people.
To make things worse, the person was heavily intoxicated (alcohol) in their own home, and despite the family telling the lawyer that they need medical attention to safely detox, the lawyer did and said nothing. The accused disclosed the issue of detox and prior health issues (heart related) to the court/jail, but they received little to no medical attention even with regards to existing medical issues. They spent the first 4 of the 8 days profusely vomiting, unable to stand, and unable to eat/drink anything even water without throwing it back up.
I appreciate everyone's input, thanks.
2023.03.22 16:36 damaged_goods04 I’m starting to think my STBXW is a narc.
Currently going through a divorce. We have been separated for a few months. We’ve tried to make it work and fix it but something would always happen and she’s get upset at me for not doing something she liked.
So I’m January we had talked extensively about couples therapy and making this work, and I thought we were on the same page. Then she randomly tells me that I’m going to be served with papers and I was shocked and said ok. Then she’s come back and say that she doesn’t know what she wants, she still loves me and wants to be a family.
Valentine’s Day she tells me she met a guy with severe depression and she has feelings for him but is in love with me. Didn’t think much of it because we spend time together for valentines and went on a date and such. Fast forward a week later she tells me she doesn’t love me, she stopped loving me back in April of last year and was only with me because of our child. I said ok, and I told her I’d leave her alone until I get over her and will only talk about my son. That weekend I go over to drop stuff off for my son and she won’t let me see him because she wants me to sign the divorce decree (where I’d lose all rights to my child, look on my profile and you can read the full story in one of my posts). I refused to sign and she refused to let me see my son, as I was leaving her mother brought my son out and I was able to see him and tell him I love him and I’ll see him soon. Her dad jumps in and tells me to sign I refuse, she makes threats and I just leave.
3 days later she calls me crying saying that she’s been heart broken and hates that she had 2 guys break her heart in a year (me and the other guy, she fell in love with him so she says), and says that she’d kill herself if it wasn’t for our child. The next day she starts telling me she loves me and wants to make it work. I go along with it and agree, but she kept saying she loved the other guy and doesn’t know if she’s making the right decision because she could be missing out on something great with that guy, she told me that he’s everything I’m not and just treats me like shit.
Following Monday she goes to therapy and they talk about our relationship, her therapist agrees on trying to fix this and being better for ourselves and our child. Not even 24 hours later she tells me that she doesn’t want to be with me she doesn’t love me like a husband and I told her I need to get over her and will only talk to her about our child. She let me see our son that weekend and during this time she gets multiple calls and texts from 7 different guys that I’ve never heard of (we have a lot of mutual friends as we used to work together) and I didn’t say anything and she asks me if I think she’s a hoe for all those guys. I said no I never thought you were one, then tells me that just because she left me doesn’t mean she wants to be with any of those guys, I responded “you told me that last time and you fell in love with someone”. She didn’t respond.
Now this week she stopped talking to me and is giving me the silent treatment and I’ve asked about my son and she doesn’t respond. But then she sends me a “revised” copy of the decree with nothing really changed and I told her I won’t sign until my lawyers says to sign. She tells me not to text her until the agreed date to see my child or I decide to sign. And I said ok. She texts me later that night telling me that I thought I wanted her happy and that if I want her happy I should sign the decree. I sent her a long message about compromising and doing what’s right for our child, she refused and told me she deserves all the rights to our child and won’t be changing the decree. I said ok.
Yesterday she texts me a new revised edition of the decree and I said thanks I won’t be signing until I’m told to do so and I’ll see you on the day we decided for me to spend time with my child. She responds no you will not see him, and I will see you in court, don’t text me anymore.
She hasn’t blocked me (we have iPhones and I can see her do not disturb is always turned on) but I think since she’s not getting what she wants she’s using my child as collateral to get me to sign something I don’t want to.
submitted by damaged_goods04 to NarcissisticSpouses [link] [comments]
So I’m January we had talked extensively about couples therapy and making this work, and I thought we were on the same page. Then she randomly tells me that I’m going to be served with papers and I was shocked and said ok. Then she’s come back and say that she doesn’t know what she wants, she still loves me and wants to be a family.
Valentine’s Day she tells me she met a guy with severe depression and she has feelings for him but is in love with me. Didn’t think much of it because we spend time together for valentines and went on a date and such. Fast forward a week later she tells me she doesn’t love me, she stopped loving me back in April of last year and was only with me because of our child. I said ok, and I told her I’d leave her alone until I get over her and will only talk about my son. That weekend I go over to drop stuff off for my son and she won’t let me see him because she wants me to sign the divorce decree (where I’d lose all rights to my child, look on my profile and you can read the full story in one of my posts). I refused to sign and she refused to let me see my son, as I was leaving her mother brought my son out and I was able to see him and tell him I love him and I’ll see him soon. Her dad jumps in and tells me to sign I refuse, she makes threats and I just leave.
3 days later she calls me crying saying that she’s been heart broken and hates that she had 2 guys break her heart in a year (me and the other guy, she fell in love with him so she says), and says that she’d kill herself if it wasn’t for our child. The next day she starts telling me she loves me and wants to make it work. I go along with it and agree, but she kept saying she loved the other guy and doesn’t know if she’s making the right decision because she could be missing out on something great with that guy, she told me that he’s everything I’m not and just treats me like shit.
Following Monday she goes to therapy and they talk about our relationship, her therapist agrees on trying to fix this and being better for ourselves and our child. Not even 24 hours later she tells me that she doesn’t want to be with me she doesn’t love me like a husband and I told her I need to get over her and will only talk to her about our child. She let me see our son that weekend and during this time she gets multiple calls and texts from 7 different guys that I’ve never heard of (we have a lot of mutual friends as we used to work together) and I didn’t say anything and she asks me if I think she’s a hoe for all those guys. I said no I never thought you were one, then tells me that just because she left me doesn’t mean she wants to be with any of those guys, I responded “you told me that last time and you fell in love with someone”. She didn’t respond.
Now this week she stopped talking to me and is giving me the silent treatment and I’ve asked about my son and she doesn’t respond. But then she sends me a “revised” copy of the decree with nothing really changed and I told her I won’t sign until my lawyers says to sign. She tells me not to text her until the agreed date to see my child or I decide to sign. And I said ok. She texts me later that night telling me that I thought I wanted her happy and that if I want her happy I should sign the decree. I sent her a long message about compromising and doing what’s right for our child, she refused and told me she deserves all the rights to our child and won’t be changing the decree. I said ok.
Yesterday she texts me a new revised edition of the decree and I said thanks I won’t be signing until I’m told to do so and I’ll see you on the day we decided for me to spend time with my child. She responds no you will not see him, and I will see you in court, don’t text me anymore.
She hasn’t blocked me (we have iPhones and I can see her do not disturb is always turned on) but I think since she’s not getting what she wants she’s using my child as collateral to get me to sign something I don’t want to.
2023.03.22 16:25 Aeliascent How much did male-passing privilege get me to where I am today?
We sometimes hear about trans women, especially later transitioners, who achieve some level of career success before realizing that they're trans.
I'm a 30 year old trans woman and I came out as nonbinary when I was 23/24 years old. I started law school and HRT around the same time at 25. With that said, I knew I was trans since I was at least 16 and I tried to come out when I was 18; however, I was pushed back into the closet after some people close to me threatened self-harm and I repressed for a few more years.
There aren't many trans women who are lawyers and I can't help but wonder how much did cis male-passing privilege get me to where I am today. I have aspired to become an attorney since I was in middle school or high school and I knew that was the path I wanted to pursue. Growing up, both my younger sister and I wanted to be lawyers. She's currently in law school. Interestingly enough, my parents actually dissuaded me from pursuing law. They said I was too timid and too "straight edge." They said I should learn to bartend, but they encouraged my sister to pursue law. According to them, my sister has the requisite personality traits. Luckily, they support me today - I'm the first attorney and the first person to have a doctorate in the family.
There are probably 3-4 other trans attorneys in my public defender office, but all of them are white and trans men or trans masc. I'm the only trans woman attorney in the office and I'm Chinese American.
Despite my history, I'm still insecure about whether cis male-passing privilege helped my career. When I talk to trans women who transitioned younger, like in their late teens or early 20s, they seem to judge when other trans women who transitioned later have some career success. If anything, I credit my success to family support and acceptance of my trans identity. I worked full time and went to school at night to graduate law school debt free, all while presenting as myself.
So, how much did cis male-passing privilege get me to where I am today?
submitted by Aeliascent to honesttransgender [link] [comments]
I'm a 30 year old trans woman and I came out as nonbinary when I was 23/24 years old. I started law school and HRT around the same time at 25. With that said, I knew I was trans since I was at least 16 and I tried to come out when I was 18; however, I was pushed back into the closet after some people close to me threatened self-harm and I repressed for a few more years.
There aren't many trans women who are lawyers and I can't help but wonder how much did cis male-passing privilege get me to where I am today. I have aspired to become an attorney since I was in middle school or high school and I knew that was the path I wanted to pursue. Growing up, both my younger sister and I wanted to be lawyers. She's currently in law school. Interestingly enough, my parents actually dissuaded me from pursuing law. They said I was too timid and too "straight edge." They said I should learn to bartend, but they encouraged my sister to pursue law. According to them, my sister has the requisite personality traits. Luckily, they support me today - I'm the first attorney and the first person to have a doctorate in the family.
There are probably 3-4 other trans attorneys in my public defender office, but all of them are white and trans men or trans masc. I'm the only trans woman attorney in the office and I'm Chinese American.
Despite my history, I'm still insecure about whether cis male-passing privilege helped my career. When I talk to trans women who transitioned younger, like in their late teens or early 20s, they seem to judge when other trans women who transitioned later have some career success. If anything, I credit my success to family support and acceptance of my trans identity. I worked full time and went to school at night to graduate law school debt free, all while presenting as myself.
So, how much did cis male-passing privilege get me to where I am today?
2023.03.22 16:24 Asleep-Childhood-471 What Are The Common Issues That Occur In A Divorce In The UK?
 | In comparison, no-fault divorce eliminates the requirement to categorize the grounds for the divorce in the divorce petition and the issues that couples encounter to continue. If you are in need of a divorce solicitor, then you should try browsing divorce lawyer Manchester. submitted by Asleep-Childhood-471 to u/Asleep-Childhood-471 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/00cja9ub6bpa1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5ee71242535c2203e8a6b6207367b1604de522c |
2023.03.22 14:42 ConsistentFinding9 LQBTQ Friendly Family Law Attorney
Anyone know of or retained a good LGBTQ family law attorney for a separation/divorce in chatt?
Thank you!!
submitted by ConsistentFinding9 to Chattanooga [link] [comments]
Thank you!!
2023.03.22 14:41 jamesekeeassociates Criminal Lawyer Forest Park GA
 | submitted by jamesekeeassociates to u/jamesekeeassociates [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 14:39 Patriot911News Lawyer in stiletto heels and mini gets in physical street brawl with fellow attorney over unleashed dog
 | submitted by Patriot911News to Conservative_News [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 14:36 UswePanda how the hell do i download from DODI? every link is like this... my broswer has all the recommended adblocker, adblocker blockers, userscripts, etc. as listed from the Megathread. what am i doing wrong?
 | submitted by UswePanda to PiratedGames [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 14:35 Horror-Assistance712 Should I get a lawyer or ignore?
Hello,
Last year I was desperately looking for a tax consultant because of general horrible service in this city.
I found one who seemed promising and talked to them. Gave him my documents, signed the attorney document and was waiting for him to do these taxes for a month and give me a quote. I didn't hear anything so I called a few times, no response. email no response.
A few weeks go by and I tried calling again. No response. I go to his office and he says I will call you back. I asked him to give me my documents back because I will look for a new tax consultant.
A few months later, this guy has the audacity to send me the tax documents filled and waiting for my signature and a huge bill.
I do not expect any legal advice here but I was wondering if this happened to anyone and whether I should just ignore it or get a lawyer just in case?
Thanks in advance
submitted by Horror-Assistance712 to berlin [link] [comments]
Last year I was desperately looking for a tax consultant because of general horrible service in this city.
I found one who seemed promising and talked to them. Gave him my documents, signed the attorney document and was waiting for him to do these taxes for a month and give me a quote. I didn't hear anything so I called a few times, no response. email no response.
A few weeks go by and I tried calling again. No response. I go to his office and he says I will call you back. I asked him to give me my documents back because I will look for a new tax consultant.
A few months later, this guy has the audacity to send me the tax documents filled and waiting for my signature and a huge bill.
I do not expect any legal advice here but I was wondering if this happened to anyone and whether I should just ignore it or get a lawyer just in case?
Thanks in advance
2023.03.22 14:34 trapped031623 I (30F) found out two days before my wedding that my husband (32M) was having an affair. I say "husband" because I was dumb and did the paperwork earlier that same week. Now I have to get divorced without ever having a wedding, without ever having the chance to be married.
Reddit fam, I am gutted. Absolutely gutted. Using a throwaway even though I know this'll identify me, but at this point I don't care. I know this is long but I hope you'll bear with me.
Last week was both the best and worst of my life. After 7.5 years together, living in 3 different cities, and 3 years engaged (COVID, and a joint choice to stay engaged that long), my husband and I finally decided to take the next (last?) step in our relationship and get married. We talked about it over the holidays, and he seemed like he was on board with it. We came up with a plan that I thought would make everyone happy, since I'm not really a wedding person. We decided that we'd (1) do our own elopement in a park; and (2) do a small ceremony with immediate family at the end of the year. He didn't really seem to have any opinions so I thought he was fine with the plan.
I noticed after the holidays that he was a little more guarded. And while I didn't pick up on it right away, I noticed that he was being a little more possessive of his phone. In early February, he had a business trip to Atlanta for a yearly retreat for his company. I had absolutely zero concerns while he was gone. He texted me relatively frequently and FaceTimed me every night. At the end of the week, he told me that his company had added on a few more activities on Friday evening and that he was staying there an extra night. I didn't think anything of it, and he came home on Saturday morning instead.
Fast forward to the beginning of March. I noticed that something was definitely up. He was more distant with me, and was more on edge. He usually walks our dog and I noticed that his walks with the dog were getting a lot longer. I noticed that he was going down to the gym for over an hour at a time, but I thought it was just nerves about getting married. That's okay, right? People get cold feet. I was nervous too. I thought I was being understanding. But then he said he didn't want to get married and that I was just dumping everything on him, and I was shocked. We always talked about getting married, but we were never in any rush. I didn't think it was that unreasonable to want to get married after 7.5 years! So we argued for a whole weekend, and eventually he broke down, apologized, and said that he was just scared. But then the next day, he said he was ready and that he wanted to sign the papers, and we walked to the courthouse and signed the papers (we're in a jurisdiction with no waiting period and where you can self-officiate with no witnesses).
Two days later -- JUST TWO DAYS LATER -- we were packing up for our elopement. I was literally putting my wedding dress in a bag to take it down to the car, when I got an anonymous Instagram message. The message said that they had seen my husband cuddling with another woman at a restaurant. I was absolutely floored and almost convinced that it was spam, but it had just enough detail that I decided to ask him about it. He seemed just as surprised as I was, and even offered to give me his phone so I could double check. Just to humor him, I checked his messages. Nothing there. Then I go to the "recently deleted" folder and ... yep, it was all there.
I locked myself in our bedroom and called my brother and best friend. And then I confronted him. At first he was angry, and thought I was overreacting. And then he started breaking down and admitted that he and this woman had gotten too attached. She works out of the Philippines so they'd mostly been texting, and met for the first time at this work retreat. He said that they went to a steakhouse, made out a few times in an Uber, and then decided that it was a bad idea to go any further. After we took some time to process our thoughts, he said he wanted to work on our marriage, and for some reason I agreed. My brother picked me up and took me to his place about an hour away, and I sat with him and his girlfriend and watched trashy TV and processed my feelings.
I came back over the weekend to a bunch of flowers, a really nice note, and we had a great evening together. I thought that we were going to get marriage counseling and then work on rebuilding what we had.
But then yesterday, she reached out again and I noticed some inconsistencies in his story. Turns out they weren't just making out in Atlanta. They had sex every single night of that work retreat, and he took her to a few steakhouses around Atlanta (which he never did with me because it was too expensive). They had been planning this whole time to have sex. They had been planning future meet-ups. Again, THIS WOMAN LIVES IN THE PHILIPPINES (we're in the United States). And the extra Friday work events didn't exist - he paid several hundred dollars to change his flight and get an extra night in his hotel room, just to spend one last night with her. He didn't want to come home to me. The money bit stings because one of the only fights we've had was about money (I wanted to go to brunch every weekend to have a regular date, spending maybe $80-90 total for the both of us, taking turns paying, which is well within our budgets since we both make six figures).
I then realized that the Instagram message came from her. Apparently he tried to end the affair and just be friends, and that pissed her off so she went nuclear. He had told her he loved her, promised to fly her and her daughter to the United States, and she was totally thrown for a loop. I don't blame her, he made her think she really had a shot. She threatened to tell me "everything" which is what made him tell me all of the other lies.
Then yesterday night, he said he didn't want to work on the marriage anymore because it was going to take too much work and he didn't think he could do it. He packed two suitcases and flew to his parents, leaving me here, alone. I don't know if he's ever going to come back.
I can't even get divorced right now. Where I live has a six-month separation period, and since we only got married this month I can't file until September. I was trapped into this marriage, and he doesn't even care about the marriage. He doesn't care about getting divorced. He doesn't care about me at ALL. He never loved me. He just said he was too lazy to break up earlier in the relationship, and he said he thought the affair would go away once he signed the papers.
Reddit, please tell me I can come back from this. Please tell me I did not just throw my life away. How do I explain to people that I'm married? How do I explain my divorce in the future? How do I keep going? I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't focus on my job. I'm a lawyer so I know how to handle the legal and procedural things (we have a prenup, no marital assets, no kids, so it'll be an easy uncontested divorce), but I don't know how to handle the emotional fallout. I am so embarrassed, humiliated. I feel like a fool. He was my best friend in the whole world. He was the absolute perfect guy. We had the same quirks, and he supported my career endlessly. I absolutely NEVER thought he could do this. We always joked that he could never handle having an affair because he couldn't lie to me. Well...I was wrong about that.
If he comes back and wants to fix things, is it even worth it? I honestly don't even care about the physical stuff. I care that he could look me in the eye and lie, repeatedly. I don't even know if I have the whole truth yet.
submitted by trapped031623 to Divorce [link] [comments]
Last week was both the best and worst of my life. After 7.5 years together, living in 3 different cities, and 3 years engaged (COVID, and a joint choice to stay engaged that long), my husband and I finally decided to take the next (last?) step in our relationship and get married. We talked about it over the holidays, and he seemed like he was on board with it. We came up with a plan that I thought would make everyone happy, since I'm not really a wedding person. We decided that we'd (1) do our own elopement in a park; and (2) do a small ceremony with immediate family at the end of the year. He didn't really seem to have any opinions so I thought he was fine with the plan.
I noticed after the holidays that he was a little more guarded. And while I didn't pick up on it right away, I noticed that he was being a little more possessive of his phone. In early February, he had a business trip to Atlanta for a yearly retreat for his company. I had absolutely zero concerns while he was gone. He texted me relatively frequently and FaceTimed me every night. At the end of the week, he told me that his company had added on a few more activities on Friday evening and that he was staying there an extra night. I didn't think anything of it, and he came home on Saturday morning instead.
Fast forward to the beginning of March. I noticed that something was definitely up. He was more distant with me, and was more on edge. He usually walks our dog and I noticed that his walks with the dog were getting a lot longer. I noticed that he was going down to the gym for over an hour at a time, but I thought it was just nerves about getting married. That's okay, right? People get cold feet. I was nervous too. I thought I was being understanding. But then he said he didn't want to get married and that I was just dumping everything on him, and I was shocked. We always talked about getting married, but we were never in any rush. I didn't think it was that unreasonable to want to get married after 7.5 years! So we argued for a whole weekend, and eventually he broke down, apologized, and said that he was just scared. But then the next day, he said he was ready and that he wanted to sign the papers, and we walked to the courthouse and signed the papers (we're in a jurisdiction with no waiting period and where you can self-officiate with no witnesses).
Two days later -- JUST TWO DAYS LATER -- we were packing up for our elopement. I was literally putting my wedding dress in a bag to take it down to the car, when I got an anonymous Instagram message. The message said that they had seen my husband cuddling with another woman at a restaurant. I was absolutely floored and almost convinced that it was spam, but it had just enough detail that I decided to ask him about it. He seemed just as surprised as I was, and even offered to give me his phone so I could double check. Just to humor him, I checked his messages. Nothing there. Then I go to the "recently deleted" folder and ... yep, it was all there.
I locked myself in our bedroom and called my brother and best friend. And then I confronted him. At first he was angry, and thought I was overreacting. And then he started breaking down and admitted that he and this woman had gotten too attached. She works out of the Philippines so they'd mostly been texting, and met for the first time at this work retreat. He said that they went to a steakhouse, made out a few times in an Uber, and then decided that it was a bad idea to go any further. After we took some time to process our thoughts, he said he wanted to work on our marriage, and for some reason I agreed. My brother picked me up and took me to his place about an hour away, and I sat with him and his girlfriend and watched trashy TV and processed my feelings.
I came back over the weekend to a bunch of flowers, a really nice note, and we had a great evening together. I thought that we were going to get marriage counseling and then work on rebuilding what we had.
But then yesterday, she reached out again and I noticed some inconsistencies in his story. Turns out they weren't just making out in Atlanta. They had sex every single night of that work retreat, and he took her to a few steakhouses around Atlanta (which he never did with me because it was too expensive). They had been planning this whole time to have sex. They had been planning future meet-ups. Again, THIS WOMAN LIVES IN THE PHILIPPINES (we're in the United States). And the extra Friday work events didn't exist - he paid several hundred dollars to change his flight and get an extra night in his hotel room, just to spend one last night with her. He didn't want to come home to me. The money bit stings because one of the only fights we've had was about money (I wanted to go to brunch every weekend to have a regular date, spending maybe $80-90 total for the both of us, taking turns paying, which is well within our budgets since we both make six figures).
I then realized that the Instagram message came from her. Apparently he tried to end the affair and just be friends, and that pissed her off so she went nuclear. He had told her he loved her, promised to fly her and her daughter to the United States, and she was totally thrown for a loop. I don't blame her, he made her think she really had a shot. She threatened to tell me "everything" which is what made him tell me all of the other lies.
Then yesterday night, he said he didn't want to work on the marriage anymore because it was going to take too much work and he didn't think he could do it. He packed two suitcases and flew to his parents, leaving me here, alone. I don't know if he's ever going to come back.
I can't even get divorced right now. Where I live has a six-month separation period, and since we only got married this month I can't file until September. I was trapped into this marriage, and he doesn't even care about the marriage. He doesn't care about getting divorced. He doesn't care about me at ALL. He never loved me. He just said he was too lazy to break up earlier in the relationship, and he said he thought the affair would go away once he signed the papers.
Reddit, please tell me I can come back from this. Please tell me I did not just throw my life away. How do I explain to people that I'm married? How do I explain my divorce in the future? How do I keep going? I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't focus on my job. I'm a lawyer so I know how to handle the legal and procedural things (we have a prenup, no marital assets, no kids, so it'll be an easy uncontested divorce), but I don't know how to handle the emotional fallout. I am so embarrassed, humiliated. I feel like a fool. He was my best friend in the whole world. He was the absolute perfect guy. We had the same quirks, and he supported my career endlessly. I absolutely NEVER thought he could do this. We always joked that he could never handle having an affair because he couldn't lie to me. Well...I was wrong about that.
If he comes back and wants to fix things, is it even worth it? I honestly don't even care about the physical stuff. I care that he could look me in the eye and lie, repeatedly. I don't even know if I have the whole truth yet.
2023.03.22 14:21 trapped031623 I (30F) found out two days before my wedding that my husband (32M) was having an affair. I say "husband" because I was dumb and did the paperwork earlier that same week. Now I have to get divorced without ever having a wedding, without ever having the chance to be married.
Reddit fam, I am gutted. Absolutely gutted. Using a throwaway even though I know this'll identify me, but at this point I don't care. I know this is long but I hope you'll bear with me.
Last week was both the best and worst of my life. After 7.5 years together, living in 3 different cities, and 3 years engaged (COVID, and a joint choice to stay engaged that long), my husband and I finally decided to take the next (last?) step in our relationship and get married. We talked about it over the holidays, and he seemed like he was on board with it. We came up with a plan that I thought would make everyone happy, since I'm not really a wedding person. We decided that we'd (1) do our own elopement in a park; and (2) do a small ceremony with immediate family at the end of the year. He didn't really seem to have any opinions so I thought he was fine with the plan.
I noticed after the holidays that he was a little more guarded. And while I didn't pick up on it right away, I noticed that he was being a little more possessive of his phone. In early February, he had a business trip to Atlanta for a yearly retreat for his company. I had absolutely zero concerns while he was gone. He texted me relatively frequently and FaceTimed me every night. At the end of the week, he told me that his company had added on a few more activities on Friday evening and that he was staying there an extra night. I didn't think anything of it, and he came home on Saturday morning instead.
Fast forward to the beginning of March. I noticed that something was definitely up. He was more distant with me, and was more on edge. He usually walks our dog and I noticed that his walks with the dog were getting a lot longer. I noticed that he was going down to the gym for over an hour at a time, but I thought it was just nerves about getting married. That's okay, right? People get cold feet. I was nervous too. I thought I was being understanding. But then he said he didn't want to get married and that I was just dumping everything on him, and I was shocked. We always talked about getting married, but we were never in any rush. I didn't think it was that unreasonable to want to get married after 7.5 years! So we argued for a whole weekend, and eventually he broke down, apologized, and said that he was just scared. But then the next day, he said he was ready and that he wanted to sign the papers, and we walked to the courthouse and signed the papers (we're in a jurisdiction with no waiting period and where you can self-officiate with no witnesses).
Two days later -- JUST TWO DAYS LATER -- we were packing up for our elopement. I was literally putting my wedding dress in a bag to take it down to the car, when I got an anonymous Instagram message. The message said that they had seen my husband cuddling with another woman at a restaurant. I was absolutely floored and almost convinced that it was spam, but it had just enough detail that I decided to ask him about it. He seemed just as surprised as I was, and even offered to give me his phone so I could double check. Just to humor him, I checked his messages. Nothing there. Then I go to the "recently deleted" folder and ... yep, it was all there.
I locked myself in our bedroom and called my brother and best friend. And then I confronted him. At first he was angry, and thought I was overreacting. And then he started breaking down and admitted that he and this woman had gotten too attached. She works for the same company out of the Philippines so they'd mostly been texting, and met for the first time at this work retreat. He said that they went to a steakhouse, made out a few times in an Uber, and then decided that it was a bad idea to go any further. After we took some time to process our thoughts, he said he wanted to work on our marriage, and for some reason I agreed. My brother picked me up and took me to his place about an hour away, and I sat with him and his girlfriend and watched trashy TV and processed my feelings.
I came back over the weekend to a bunch of flowers, a really nice note, and we had a great evening together. I thought that we were going to get marriage counseling and then work on rebuilding what we had.
But then yesterday, she reached out again and I noticed some inconsistencies in his story. Turns out they weren't just making out in Atlanta. They had sex every single night of that work retreat, and he took her to a few steakhouses around Atlanta (which he never did with me because it was too expensive). They had been planning this whole time to have sex. They had been planning future meet-ups. Again, THIS WOMAN LIVES IN THE PHILIPPINES (we're in the United States). And the extra Friday work events didn't exist - he paid several hundred dollars to change his flight and get an extra night in his hotel room, just to spend one last night with her. He didn't want to come home to me. The money bit stings because one of the only fights we've had was about money (I wanted to go to brunch every weekend to have a regular date, spending maybe $80-90 total for the both of us, taking turns paying, which is well within our budgets since we both make six figures).
I then realized that the Instagram message came from her. Apparently he tried to end the affair and just be friends, and that pissed her off so she went nuclear. He had told her he loved her, promised to fly her and her daughter to the United States, and she was totally thrown for a loop. I don't blame her, he made her think she really had a shot. She threatened to tell me "everything" which is what made him tell me all of the other lies.
Then yesterday night, he said he didn't want to work on the marriage anymore because it was going to take too much work and he didn't think he could do it. He packed two suitcases and flew to his parents, leaving me here, alone. I don't know if he's ever going to come back.
I can't even get divorced right now. Where I live has a six-month separation period, and since we only got married this month I can't file until September. I was trapped into this marriage, and he doesn't even care about the marriage. He doesn't care about getting divorced. He doesn't care about me at ALL. He never loved me. He just said he was too lazy to break up earlier in the relationship, and he said he thought the affair would go away once he signed the papers.
Reddit, please tell me I can come back from this. Please tell me I did not just throw my life away. How do I explain to people that I'm married? How do I explain my divorce in the future? How do I keep going? I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't focus on my job. I'm a lawyer so I know how to handle the legal and procedural things, but I don't know how to handle the emotional fallout. I am so embarrassed, humiliated. I feel like a fool. He was my best friend in the whole world. He was the absolute perfect guy. We had the same quirks, and he supported my career endlessly. I absolutely NEVER thought he could do this. We always joked that he could never handle having an affair because he couldn't lie to me. Well...I was wrong about that.
If he comes back and wants to fix things, is it even worth it? I honestly don't even care about the physical stuff. I care that he could look me in the eye and lie, repeatedly. I don't even know if I have the whole truth yet.
submitted by trapped031623 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Last week was both the best and worst of my life. After 7.5 years together, living in 3 different cities, and 3 years engaged (COVID, and a joint choice to stay engaged that long), my husband and I finally decided to take the next (last?) step in our relationship and get married. We talked about it over the holidays, and he seemed like he was on board with it. We came up with a plan that I thought would make everyone happy, since I'm not really a wedding person. We decided that we'd (1) do our own elopement in a park; and (2) do a small ceremony with immediate family at the end of the year. He didn't really seem to have any opinions so I thought he was fine with the plan.
I noticed after the holidays that he was a little more guarded. And while I didn't pick up on it right away, I noticed that he was being a little more possessive of his phone. In early February, he had a business trip to Atlanta for a yearly retreat for his company. I had absolutely zero concerns while he was gone. He texted me relatively frequently and FaceTimed me every night. At the end of the week, he told me that his company had added on a few more activities on Friday evening and that he was staying there an extra night. I didn't think anything of it, and he came home on Saturday morning instead.
Fast forward to the beginning of March. I noticed that something was definitely up. He was more distant with me, and was more on edge. He usually walks our dog and I noticed that his walks with the dog were getting a lot longer. I noticed that he was going down to the gym for over an hour at a time, but I thought it was just nerves about getting married. That's okay, right? People get cold feet. I was nervous too. I thought I was being understanding. But then he said he didn't want to get married and that I was just dumping everything on him, and I was shocked. We always talked about getting married, but we were never in any rush. I didn't think it was that unreasonable to want to get married after 7.5 years! So we argued for a whole weekend, and eventually he broke down, apologized, and said that he was just scared. But then the next day, he said he was ready and that he wanted to sign the papers, and we walked to the courthouse and signed the papers (we're in a jurisdiction with no waiting period and where you can self-officiate with no witnesses).
Two days later -- JUST TWO DAYS LATER -- we were packing up for our elopement. I was literally putting my wedding dress in a bag to take it down to the car, when I got an anonymous Instagram message. The message said that they had seen my husband cuddling with another woman at a restaurant. I was absolutely floored and almost convinced that it was spam, but it had just enough detail that I decided to ask him about it. He seemed just as surprised as I was, and even offered to give me his phone so I could double check. Just to humor him, I checked his messages. Nothing there. Then I go to the "recently deleted" folder and ... yep, it was all there.
I locked myself in our bedroom and called my brother and best friend. And then I confronted him. At first he was angry, and thought I was overreacting. And then he started breaking down and admitted that he and this woman had gotten too attached. She works for the same company out of the Philippines so they'd mostly been texting, and met for the first time at this work retreat. He said that they went to a steakhouse, made out a few times in an Uber, and then decided that it was a bad idea to go any further. After we took some time to process our thoughts, he said he wanted to work on our marriage, and for some reason I agreed. My brother picked me up and took me to his place about an hour away, and I sat with him and his girlfriend and watched trashy TV and processed my feelings.
I came back over the weekend to a bunch of flowers, a really nice note, and we had a great evening together. I thought that we were going to get marriage counseling and then work on rebuilding what we had.
But then yesterday, she reached out again and I noticed some inconsistencies in his story. Turns out they weren't just making out in Atlanta. They had sex every single night of that work retreat, and he took her to a few steakhouses around Atlanta (which he never did with me because it was too expensive). They had been planning this whole time to have sex. They had been planning future meet-ups. Again, THIS WOMAN LIVES IN THE PHILIPPINES (we're in the United States). And the extra Friday work events didn't exist - he paid several hundred dollars to change his flight and get an extra night in his hotel room, just to spend one last night with her. He didn't want to come home to me. The money bit stings because one of the only fights we've had was about money (I wanted to go to brunch every weekend to have a regular date, spending maybe $80-90 total for the both of us, taking turns paying, which is well within our budgets since we both make six figures).
I then realized that the Instagram message came from her. Apparently he tried to end the affair and just be friends, and that pissed her off so she went nuclear. He had told her he loved her, promised to fly her and her daughter to the United States, and she was totally thrown for a loop. I don't blame her, he made her think she really had a shot. She threatened to tell me "everything" which is what made him tell me all of the other lies.
Then yesterday night, he said he didn't want to work on the marriage anymore because it was going to take too much work and he didn't think he could do it. He packed two suitcases and flew to his parents, leaving me here, alone. I don't know if he's ever going to come back.
I can't even get divorced right now. Where I live has a six-month separation period, and since we only got married this month I can't file until September. I was trapped into this marriage, and he doesn't even care about the marriage. He doesn't care about getting divorced. He doesn't care about me at ALL. He never loved me. He just said he was too lazy to break up earlier in the relationship, and he said he thought the affair would go away once he signed the papers.
Reddit, please tell me I can come back from this. Please tell me I did not just throw my life away. How do I explain to people that I'm married? How do I explain my divorce in the future? How do I keep going? I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't focus on my job. I'm a lawyer so I know how to handle the legal and procedural things, but I don't know how to handle the emotional fallout. I am so embarrassed, humiliated. I feel like a fool. He was my best friend in the whole world. He was the absolute perfect guy. We had the same quirks, and he supported my career endlessly. I absolutely NEVER thought he could do this. We always joked that he could never handle having an affair because he couldn't lie to me. Well...I was wrong about that.
If he comes back and wants to fix things, is it even worth it? I honestly don't even care about the physical stuff. I care that he could look me in the eye and lie, repeatedly. I don't even know if I have the whole truth yet.
2023.03.22 14:19 kevysaysbenice Anybody familiar with "municipal civil infractions" and able to provide any insights into the way fines might work?
I recently contacted various city officials (1st Ward, 14th district, and the major) and got some information about The Broadway. The tl;dr; is that there is a case - a civil infraction edit: I'm not actually sure if this is a "civil" or "criminal" case - confusingly the court website has this filed under "Criminal", but reading the code of ordinances below this seems like a civil case to me? but really I have no idea what I'm takling about. Either way, it's Ordinance Chapter 176 : G-HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS - pending as of October 3, 2022.
(side note: apparently the Kallman group (David specifically), the same lawyer(s) representing Ottawa Impact / Ottawa County are representing The Broadway)
My question is this: let's assume GR "wins". I'm wondering if anybody with experience with this sort of thing can give any realistic idea of what might happen in terms of practical outcomes for The Broadway. According to
https://library.municode.com/mi/grand_rapids/codes/code_of_ordinances?nodeId=TIOLRE_CH176HURI_ART5COPRINLECOPE_S9.971PRPE
On the flip side, there is this:
Any thoughts appreciated!
submitted by kevysaysbenice to grandrapids [link] [comments]
(side note: apparently the Kallman group (David specifically), the same lawyer(s) representing Ottawa Impact / Ottawa County are representing The Broadway)
My question is this: let's assume GR "wins". I'm wondering if anybody with experience with this sort of thing can give any realistic idea of what might happen in terms of practical outcomes for The Broadway. According to
https://library.municode.com/mi/grand_rapids/codes/code_of_ordinances?nodeId=TIOLRE_CH176HURI_ART5COPRINLECOPE_S9.971PRPE
A municipal civil infraction is punishable by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars ($500.00) and all other costs, damages, expenses, sanctions and remedies as authorized by Michigan law.The fine "maximum" is $500 - I imagine that is per incident, but given it seems like this is going to be a year long process that doesn't seem that significant? Am I miss understanding this, or how would this normally work? If this drags out for a full year, then all that happens is a $500 fine, I'd be pretty disappointed.
On the flip side, there is this:
Sec. 9.969. - Injunctions.This sounds a bit more hopeful that perhaps the city could do something like revoke whatever license The Broadway has, effectively shutting it down. But again, I have no idea if this is actually realistic, or what this section on injunctions means.
The City Attorney's Office may commence a civil action to obtain injunctive relief to prevent discrimination prohibited by City Code and this Chapter, to reverse the effects of such discrimination, or to enforce a mediation agreement.
Any thoughts appreciated!
2023.03.22 14:09 Patriot911News Lawyer in stiletto heels and mini gets in physical street brawl with fellow attorney over unleashed dog
 | submitted by Patriot911News to Patriot911 [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 13:57 michaelhua- Trusted Brain Injury Attorney Las Vegas - Michael Hua Law
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submitted by michaelhua- to u/michaelhua- [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 13:38 KittenDealinMama I Adopted my bestfriend's (who passed away) son and now I have to face the father who has no idea
Originally posted by u/laying_low_for_a_bit in TrueOffMyChest on March 12, '23, updated March 15th
Original Post
I Adopted my bestfriend's (who passed away) son and now I have to face the father who has no idea
I'm sorry but it's going to be long. I just didn't know where else to turn to.
I (32f) had a childhood bestfriend, I'll call her Jiya in this post, who I was very close to. We were always together growing up. Even when we went to different colleges, we still made time for each other and filled each other in of all the details from our life. She used to talk about this guy she was dating and I could just tell how much she loved him. I eventually met the guy and was happy to see both of them so much in love. She eventually married him and they both moved to Canada as he got a really good job there. She uprooted her life here in India and went with her husband. We were all 24 at that time. With time we got busy in our lives and the close bond that we once had, slowly faded away... Part of growing up I guess. We still stayed in touch... just not as much.
After 4 years, one day i got a call from her and she asked me to meet. She told me she was back in India. I was happy to hear that but something felt off. We met and we were so happy and it felt like we were still the same. But then she broke the news to me that she and her husband got a divorce. Her reasons were just that with time they just grew apart and with both their work schedules they couldn't make time for each other. I understood that. But then she broke the even bigger news that she was pregnant with his child and that he didn't know and that she was planning to keep it that way because she wanted him to move on with his life without any attachments to him. I was shocked and I didn't approve of this at all but it was her child hence she was the one to decide afterall. She wanted to have a life of her own back where her parents lived and wanted to give birth to this child. I asked her what her parents had to say about this and she said they were supportive of whatever she wanted.
What I was feeling was a mixture of emotions... As i was happy to have her here but also sad that she was going to face all this on her own. I decided to support her on every step of the way and be the best aunt to that child ever.
Time passed and she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Rehan (fake name) and for a second everything felt peaceful. She was so happy. She moved back into her parents' house who were more than happy to take care of both her and the baby. It seemed like everything was going to be okay. But peace was only short-lived when only 2 years after giving birth to the baby, my friend, my childhood friend who was like a sister to me passed away. I won't be going into details but she had some terrible health issues and she couldn't fight them anymore. We were all devastated. It felt like I lost a part of myself. I couldn't even imagine what her parents were going through. I wanted to be there for them in whatever way possible.
They were old and Jiya was their only daughter. I was worried how they would take care of Rehan who was now 2 and now didn't have a mother. We had a serious discussion one day and I asked them if they would be okay taking all the responsibilities. I even brought up Rehan's father because he still didn't know anything about his son. But aunt seemed a bit agitated and it felt like she wanted to say something but wasn't able to. I asked her what it was and after a bit of hesitation, she finally spoke. She asked me if I would like to be a parent to their grandson. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. They asked me to not dismiss the idea altogether and to just think about it. I said okay and went home.
What they asked of me was huge but it also kinda made sense, I guess? They were old and they couldn't possibly take care of a child on their own. On the other hand I've been a part of their lives since Jiya and I were 8 and a part of Rehan's life since his birth. And I was a single woman who didn't really have any plans of getting married. I did plan on having kids at one point in life but I just never got around to it. And with Jiya and Rehan, I just felt like it was enough. I decided to adopt Rehan. I informed Uncle and Aunty that I'll do it and they started crying. My parents were also supportive because they were going to be grandparents as well. Amidst everything, things somewhat seemed okay.
I legally adopted Rehan as my son and even though the process took some time... It was worth it. Rehan is 3 now and I was happy taking caring of him and him having two sets of grandparents was kinda nice. Losing Jiya was a shock to all of us but her death brought all of us even closer than before and we became a family.
All of a sudden I got a news from Aunty. That Jiya's ex husband has come back to India. And that he wanted to have dinner with them. Aunt told me that he informed them he never really got married after Jiya and that he was devastated by the news and he was sorry that he couldn't come to the funeral but now that he was here, he wanted to be there for them. Aunty understood his position but she was worried about how things will turnout so, she asked me to join them as well. The Dinner is in 4 days and I am scared. Rehan is my child. He is a part of my best friend. I am scared that if I see Rehan's father, I'd feel so guilty and Jiya's parents and I, we might blurt out the truth. And if we do so... I'm afraid that he'll try to take Rehan away from us. A lot of things that can go wrong. I'm not sure how to approach this situation.
Rehan's father is not a bad person but he might (and mostly definitely will) feel betrayed that he didn't know about all this that we hid his own son from him. We're not sure how to face him and we know we're in the wrong here. We just don't know if we should tell him about his son and if we do, how he will react and what he'll do and what we can do to convince him to not take him away from us. We're all very scared. It's making my heart feel so guilty. I know we're being selfish here. I just don't know what to do here.
Edit: I've taken into account all your views and they helped me a lot in deciding what to do. Thank you so much everyone.
The comments are a bit divided. Some are praising her and some are very upset that they have kept this child from his father
Update 3 days later
Thank you so much everybody for all the support. I really appreciate all your comments and I've read most of them. I've weighed in both sides of the situation and I'd mention a few things first.
When Rehan was born here, his only parent was Jiya. The father was nowhere in the picture. After her, the custody went to her parents. They allowed me to adopt Rehan.
We don't know if Rehan's father is in india for good. All we heard is that he has come and that he wants to meet Jiya's parents.
I understand that all this is based on a hidden truth and that makes us all guilty of robbing a child of his father's love.
I love Rehan so much and I would always do what's best for him. Even though Jiya is no more with us, and I'm the "mom" now... I promised Jiya's parents AND myself that I'll never let Rehan forget about her. And honestly, I want to do the same for his father. I've talked to uncle and aunty and I've decided not to attend the dinner and that I would let them talk to him get all the necessary details about him. Of course we couldn't figure this out in such short amount of time so, we've decided to take one step at a time. We definitely do want to tell him about Rehan but we still need to figure out how. Meanwhile I'll contact a lawyer to see how things should proceed legally.
The first thing we all want to know is for how long he'd be staying here. And if he would ever consider moving back to India. Jiya made a sacrifice when she left India, we would really like to know or at least have an idea if he would ever do the same for someone (in this case, his own child, whose entire family is in India including Jiya's In-laws) What his responses would be to all these questions play a major role in this situation because we're really in the dark and we don't want to take any bad decisions on the basis of assumptions.
All I ever wanted from the very beginning was to be the best aunt to our little Rehan. It's a privilege that I got to be his mom. And If everything really goes well... I'd be more than happy to share custody with Rehan's father.
Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost.
submitted by KittenDealinMama to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Original Post
I Adopted my bestfriend's (who passed away) son and now I have to face the father who has no idea
I'm sorry but it's going to be long. I just didn't know where else to turn to.
I (32f) had a childhood bestfriend, I'll call her Jiya in this post, who I was very close to. We were always together growing up. Even when we went to different colleges, we still made time for each other and filled each other in of all the details from our life. She used to talk about this guy she was dating and I could just tell how much she loved him. I eventually met the guy and was happy to see both of them so much in love. She eventually married him and they both moved to Canada as he got a really good job there. She uprooted her life here in India and went with her husband. We were all 24 at that time. With time we got busy in our lives and the close bond that we once had, slowly faded away... Part of growing up I guess. We still stayed in touch... just not as much.
After 4 years, one day i got a call from her and she asked me to meet. She told me she was back in India. I was happy to hear that but something felt off. We met and we were so happy and it felt like we were still the same. But then she broke the news to me that she and her husband got a divorce. Her reasons were just that with time they just grew apart and with both their work schedules they couldn't make time for each other. I understood that. But then she broke the even bigger news that she was pregnant with his child and that he didn't know and that she was planning to keep it that way because she wanted him to move on with his life without any attachments to him. I was shocked and I didn't approve of this at all but it was her child hence she was the one to decide afterall. She wanted to have a life of her own back where her parents lived and wanted to give birth to this child. I asked her what her parents had to say about this and she said they were supportive of whatever she wanted.
What I was feeling was a mixture of emotions... As i was happy to have her here but also sad that she was going to face all this on her own. I decided to support her on every step of the way and be the best aunt to that child ever.
Time passed and she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Rehan (fake name) and for a second everything felt peaceful. She was so happy. She moved back into her parents' house who were more than happy to take care of both her and the baby. It seemed like everything was going to be okay. But peace was only short-lived when only 2 years after giving birth to the baby, my friend, my childhood friend who was like a sister to me passed away. I won't be going into details but she had some terrible health issues and she couldn't fight them anymore. We were all devastated. It felt like I lost a part of myself. I couldn't even imagine what her parents were going through. I wanted to be there for them in whatever way possible.
They were old and Jiya was their only daughter. I was worried how they would take care of Rehan who was now 2 and now didn't have a mother. We had a serious discussion one day and I asked them if they would be okay taking all the responsibilities. I even brought up Rehan's father because he still didn't know anything about his son. But aunt seemed a bit agitated and it felt like she wanted to say something but wasn't able to. I asked her what it was and after a bit of hesitation, she finally spoke. She asked me if I would like to be a parent to their grandson. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. They asked me to not dismiss the idea altogether and to just think about it. I said okay and went home.
What they asked of me was huge but it also kinda made sense, I guess? They were old and they couldn't possibly take care of a child on their own. On the other hand I've been a part of their lives since Jiya and I were 8 and a part of Rehan's life since his birth. And I was a single woman who didn't really have any plans of getting married. I did plan on having kids at one point in life but I just never got around to it. And with Jiya and Rehan, I just felt like it was enough. I decided to adopt Rehan. I informed Uncle and Aunty that I'll do it and they started crying. My parents were also supportive because they were going to be grandparents as well. Amidst everything, things somewhat seemed okay.
I legally adopted Rehan as my son and even though the process took some time... It was worth it. Rehan is 3 now and I was happy taking caring of him and him having two sets of grandparents was kinda nice. Losing Jiya was a shock to all of us but her death brought all of us even closer than before and we became a family.
All of a sudden I got a news from Aunty. That Jiya's ex husband has come back to India. And that he wanted to have dinner with them. Aunt told me that he informed them he never really got married after Jiya and that he was devastated by the news and he was sorry that he couldn't come to the funeral but now that he was here, he wanted to be there for them. Aunty understood his position but she was worried about how things will turnout so, she asked me to join them as well. The Dinner is in 4 days and I am scared. Rehan is my child. He is a part of my best friend. I am scared that if I see Rehan's father, I'd feel so guilty and Jiya's parents and I, we might blurt out the truth. And if we do so... I'm afraid that he'll try to take Rehan away from us. A lot of things that can go wrong. I'm not sure how to approach this situation.
Rehan's father is not a bad person but he might (and mostly definitely will) feel betrayed that he didn't know about all this that we hid his own son from him. We're not sure how to face him and we know we're in the wrong here. We just don't know if we should tell him about his son and if we do, how he will react and what he'll do and what we can do to convince him to not take him away from us. We're all very scared. It's making my heart feel so guilty. I know we're being selfish here. I just don't know what to do here.
Edit: I've taken into account all your views and they helped me a lot in deciding what to do. Thank you so much everyone.
The comments are a bit divided. Some are praising her and some are very upset that they have kept this child from his father
Update 3 days later
Thank you so much everybody for all the support. I really appreciate all your comments and I've read most of them. I've weighed in both sides of the situation and I'd mention a few things first.
When Rehan was born here, his only parent was Jiya. The father was nowhere in the picture. After her, the custody went to her parents. They allowed me to adopt Rehan.
We don't know if Rehan's father is in india for good. All we heard is that he has come and that he wants to meet Jiya's parents.
I understand that all this is based on a hidden truth and that makes us all guilty of robbing a child of his father's love.
I love Rehan so much and I would always do what's best for him. Even though Jiya is no more with us, and I'm the "mom" now... I promised Jiya's parents AND myself that I'll never let Rehan forget about her. And honestly, I want to do the same for his father. I've talked to uncle and aunty and I've decided not to attend the dinner and that I would let them talk to him get all the necessary details about him. Of course we couldn't figure this out in such short amount of time so, we've decided to take one step at a time. We definitely do want to tell him about Rehan but we still need to figure out how. Meanwhile I'll contact a lawyer to see how things should proceed legally.
The first thing we all want to know is for how long he'd be staying here. And if he would ever consider moving back to India. Jiya made a sacrifice when she left India, we would really like to know or at least have an idea if he would ever do the same for someone (in this case, his own child, whose entire family is in India including Jiya's In-laws) What his responses would be to all these questions play a major role in this situation because we're really in the dark and we don't want to take any bad decisions on the basis of assumptions.
All I ever wanted from the very beginning was to be the best aunt to our little Rehan. It's a privilege that I got to be his mom. And If everything really goes well... I'd be more than happy to share custody with Rehan's father.
Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost.
2023.03.22 13:38 Republic_Beneficial How A Living Trust Attorney Can Help You Navigate Complex Trust And Estate Laws
 | A living trust is a valuable estate planning tool for various individuals. But unfortunately, people are not entirely aware of it. Keeping in mind this fact, the post is written. The queries like who needs a living trust and how a living trust attorney can help. All these aspects are discussed here. Read it and learn how you can conveniently conduct the process. submitted by Republic_Beneficial to u/Republic_Beneficial [link] [comments] Let’s begin! Who Needs A Living Trust?You must have heard the term-living trust. It is a legal arrangement allowing you to give your assets to someone else until death. Thus, you can fully control your assets if you put them into a living trust.Living Trust Attorney But is it required for you? So, to answer the query, here is the answer. The segment is all about the people who require a living trust.
Summing UpConclusively, the presence of the living trust attorney is mandatory while conducting the process. They will advise you on whether a living trust is suitable for your circumstance or not. They will create a customized plan that meets your needs. So, you can contact Herbert Law Office if you are looking for an Estate Planning Lawyer.To learn more, you can visit the official website! |
2023.03.22 13:33 jamesekeeassociates Criminal Lawyer Forest Park GA
Criminal Lawyer Forest Park GA - 30297
If you are facing criminal charges, you need Criminal Lawyers with experience, who are available to take your case quickly and confidently, who will go the extra mile to thoroughly investigate your case, and who get the best possible result in or out of court.
At James E. Kee Law & Associates are lawyers in Forest Park, GA, and provide representation for cases involving people charged with a crime. We represent people in the GA area who are in need of criminal defense attorneys. For over two decades our firm has represented people in all types of criminal cases. We take time and dedication to explain the legal process to achieve your desired results. Call our Forest Park, GA criminal lawyers for a free consultation. Criminal Lawyer and DUI Lawyers in GA.
Phone Number: 404-870-6719
https://www.atlantatrafficandcriminallaw.com/
https://goo.gl/maps/tVK9FKY8s7PnsZqT7
submitted by jamesekeeassociates to u/jamesekeeassociates [link] [comments]
If you are facing criminal charges, you need Criminal Lawyers with experience, who are available to take your case quickly and confidently, who will go the extra mile to thoroughly investigate your case, and who get the best possible result in or out of court.
At James E. Kee Law & Associates are lawyers in Forest Park, GA, and provide representation for cases involving people charged with a crime. We represent people in the GA area who are in need of criminal defense attorneys. For over two decades our firm has represented people in all types of criminal cases. We take time and dedication to explain the legal process to achieve your desired results. Call our Forest Park, GA criminal lawyers for a free consultation. Criminal Lawyer and DUI Lawyers in GA.
Phone Number: 404-870-6719
https://www.atlantatrafficandcriminallaw.com/
https://goo.gl/maps/tVK9FKY8s7PnsZqT7
2023.03.22 13:25 redditor765890 Is a lawyer for estate worth it?
Is getting a lawyer for an estate worth it? I’m executor of my father’s estate, he passed last week. I feel like I’ve at least got a grasp on things, and the will is very straight forward of who gets what (mostly to me). I’m already in the process of cancelling his pensions, getting death certs, I need to go to the courthouse to get shorts for certain things, tracking down his policies etc. I’m just learning as I go.
While I’d go straight to a lawyer if any contention were to happen among beneficiaries or anything, is this going to be pretty manageable myself? This is PA if that matters.
submitted by redditor765890 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
While I’d go straight to a lawyer if any contention were to happen among beneficiaries or anything, is this going to be pretty manageable myself? This is PA if that matters.
2023.03.22 13:16 SnooDoggos6382 [Tenant US-OH] Responsible, high income earner looking to move, but in an unusual situation. Advice from landlords please!
Just for context - I am what my locality would consider a high income earner. I make six figures, not including bonuses. I also have court ordered child support for roughly $2,100/month paid to me. Also notable, I have a great rental history and zero criminal background what so ever. I am 30 years old with very stable employment and I’ve been at my current job as an Operations Director for a few years.
Long story short, I went through a pretty horrible divorce a few years ago. Happy to have escaped the abuse, but it feels like issues from it are following me. During the time I was married, my ex husband and I lived in really nice home we purchased. In the divorce, I just wanted away and quickly, so I gave him the house and all of its equity. He sold it for a pretty penny when the housing market exploded during the pandemic. Good for him. In exchange, he agreed to pay off most of the marital debt. This is all in writing and court ordered. Long story short, I go to check my credit report a few months ago, and my ex essentially went to the credit bureau claiming the joint debts were “belonging to an ex spouse” and disputed them! My attorney is well aware, and we have now served him with contempt and a motion to show cause is set to be heard May 11th. Serving him was hellacious since he took off about a year ago to move to Alaska, never sees our kids, and found a new partner. Anyway, we both have attorneys and he knows he’s screwed according to my lawyer. The problem is, these marital debts have absolutely tanked my credit. I don’t have much credit other than a small credit card and my car, that’s halfway paid off. The debts he was required to pay total about $35,000. They are marked as bad debt on my credit report as well as collections and have dropped my score by an uncomfortable amount.
I am looking to move in May. Of all months. My lease is up on my current place. I’ve lived here with my kids since the divorce, and it’s a good sized luxury apartment. I didn’t want to deal with mowing the lawn and all the upkeep of a house while going through such an uncertain time in my life, so this was perfect at the time. 3 years later, I’m ready for a home with a yard for my kids. I don’t think my credit score qualifies me for many of the homes I’d like. I feel like landlords hear BS stories all the time from potential renters, and I don’t want to come off that way by bringing up my situation. Should I show a future landlord the court order and the motion of contempt ordered to be heard on May 11th? Any and all advice here is welcome and appreciated.
submitted by SnooDoggos6382 to Landlord [link] [comments]
Long story short, I went through a pretty horrible divorce a few years ago. Happy to have escaped the abuse, but it feels like issues from it are following me. During the time I was married, my ex husband and I lived in really nice home we purchased. In the divorce, I just wanted away and quickly, so I gave him the house and all of its equity. He sold it for a pretty penny when the housing market exploded during the pandemic. Good for him. In exchange, he agreed to pay off most of the marital debt. This is all in writing and court ordered. Long story short, I go to check my credit report a few months ago, and my ex essentially went to the credit bureau claiming the joint debts were “belonging to an ex spouse” and disputed them! My attorney is well aware, and we have now served him with contempt and a motion to show cause is set to be heard May 11th. Serving him was hellacious since he took off about a year ago to move to Alaska, never sees our kids, and found a new partner. Anyway, we both have attorneys and he knows he’s screwed according to my lawyer. The problem is, these marital debts have absolutely tanked my credit. I don’t have much credit other than a small credit card and my car, that’s halfway paid off. The debts he was required to pay total about $35,000. They are marked as bad debt on my credit report as well as collections and have dropped my score by an uncomfortable amount.
I am looking to move in May. Of all months. My lease is up on my current place. I’ve lived here with my kids since the divorce, and it’s a good sized luxury apartment. I didn’t want to deal with mowing the lawn and all the upkeep of a house while going through such an uncertain time in my life, so this was perfect at the time. 3 years later, I’m ready for a home with a yard for my kids. I don’t think my credit score qualifies me for many of the homes I’d like. I feel like landlords hear BS stories all the time from potential renters, and I don’t want to come off that way by bringing up my situation. Should I show a future landlord the court order and the motion of contempt ordered to be heard on May 11th? Any and all advice here is welcome and appreciated.
2023.03.22 13:04 Kcsoccer75 Can I get an attorney or estate person to send brother email or letter for K-1 tax form?
How much would it cost to just have an estate attorney or normal lawyer draft a letter or email to my requesting a the status of or seeking to obtain a K-1 form that comes from the 1041 he must file for taxes?
I live in CA. Is it reasonable to do this at this point? I ask because there are extensions here from the floods and we live in one of those counties. He's not been affected by that, but would it be too soon to send a letter like that from an attorney? I think he has until May 15 to file the 1041 as that was when the original automatic tax extension went to for the weather crisis and floods. But, the overall tax extension is Oct. 16 now.
I was told he could file for an extension from the May 15 date for the 1041 and then he would need to file by I believe 4 months later on Sept 15.
I reached out to him a week ago and he did not respond. We have a terrible relationship, but this is the last thing we need to do to finish everything. I feel like he is going to make it hell and not respond and wait as long as he can to upset me. What can I do? Would an attorney send something? how much would that cost?
submitted by Kcsoccer75 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
I live in CA. Is it reasonable to do this at this point? I ask because there are extensions here from the floods and we live in one of those counties. He's not been affected by that, but would it be too soon to send a letter like that from an attorney? I think he has until May 15 to file the 1041 as that was when the original automatic tax extension went to for the weather crisis and floods. But, the overall tax extension is Oct. 16 now.
I was told he could file for an extension from the May 15 date for the 1041 and then he would need to file by I believe 4 months later on Sept 15.
I reached out to him a week ago and he did not respond. We have a terrible relationship, but this is the last thing we need to do to finish everything. I feel like he is going to make it hell and not respond and wait as long as he can to upset me. What can I do? Would an attorney send something? how much would that cost?
2023.03.22 13:02 Kcsoccer75 Can I have a letter or email sent to my brother?
How much would it cost to just have an estate attorney or normal lawyer draft a letter or email to my requesting a the status of or seeking to obtain a K-1 form that comes from the 1041 he must file for taxes?
I live in CA. Is it reasonable to do this at this point? I ask because there are extensions here from the floods and we live in one of those counties. He's not been affected by that, but would it be too soon to send a letter like that from an attorney? I think he has until May 15 to file the 1041 as that was when the original automatic tax extension went to for the weather crisis and floods. But, the overall tax extension is Oct. 16 now.
I was told he could file for an extension from the May 15 date for the 1041 and then he would need to file by I believe 4 months later on Sept 15.
I reached out to him a week ago and he did not respond. We have a terrible relationship, but this is the last thing we need to do to finish everything. I feel like he is going to make it hell and not respond and wait as long as he can to upset me. What can I do? Would an attorney send something? how much would that cost?
submitted by Kcsoccer75 to EstatePlanning [link] [comments]
I live in CA. Is it reasonable to do this at this point? I ask because there are extensions here from the floods and we live in one of those counties. He's not been affected by that, but would it be too soon to send a letter like that from an attorney? I think he has until May 15 to file the 1041 as that was when the original automatic tax extension went to for the weather crisis and floods. But, the overall tax extension is Oct. 16 now.
I was told he could file for an extension from the May 15 date for the 1041 and then he would need to file by I believe 4 months later on Sept 15.
I reached out to him a week ago and he did not respond. We have a terrible relationship, but this is the last thing we need to do to finish everything. I feel like he is going to make it hell and not respond and wait as long as he can to upset me. What can I do? Would an attorney send something? how much would that cost?
2023.03.22 12:44 CocteauTwinn Update on the documents case with evidence of court filings.
 | submitted by CocteauTwinn to WhitePeopleTwitter [link] [comments] |