Does it bother anyone else how un-suited the writers make Cam and Mitch seem for eachother? Their plotline in many episodes is them lying to and/or manipulating eachother. Their love never feels quite genuine, even when they "reconcile" at the end of the episode. It's the same exact thing the next episode. It just feels like they don't respect each other. Cam is always making dramatic decisions without consulting Mitch and Mitch is always rolling his eyes and invalidating Cam's feelings and anything Cam gets excited about. For example, why is Mitch so derisive about Cam's farm life and family? I know the other couples in the show have a decent amount of getting into situations where they have to lie to each other and clean up their messes, but it always feels like the Phil/Claire or Gloria/Jay stuff is over silly things but the Mitch/Cam ones are over serious joint life decisions (jobs, financials, kids).

Hi all, I’m investigating the sustainability of #edtech such as laptops used in classrooms. Would love to hear your durability and repairability experiences with Chromebooks and laptops.
I’m also hosting a webinar for K-12 professionals to take action for sustainable technology.
Webinar: How K-12 professionals can stop the Chromebook Churn. Tuesday April 4rd 12pm ET / 11am CT https://forms.gle/YdBmi4ue1Ki4kKQg7
Especially since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, schools have looked for budget laptops that they can buy en masse. In many cases, they have turned to Chromebooks. However, three years after this huge spike in purchases, too many school districts are having to replace them. That’s because unlike other devices, Chromebooks come with built-in “death dates” and are not easily repairable. Learn how K-12 professionals can act to stop the Chromebook Churn at this webinar. This event is organized by PIRG (Public Interest Research Group) and Environment America.

2nd attempt to post this, I done something wrong first attempt.
My uncle sexually assaulted my little sibling and the court case is in a few months now.
This isn’t my story to tell so the details will be left out to protect my little sibling. My “uncle” (40) (monster) sexually assaulted my little sibling and we are taking him to court. It happened 2years ago but due to backed up cases because of covid we have had to wait for our day in court. Wile waiting my mum and other siblings have been pushed out of the family. We have been there for one another constantly. It’s not been easy at all, I am the oldest and I honestly want to save them all from all this hurt!
So my worry is he’s going to get away with it! He’s a narcissist and without relishing it my “nan & grandad” enabled his behaviour for years. Growing up there was always alcohol and violence towards women. My other “uncle” had already been in court for something similar (not within the family). The uncle who did this to my sibling is the younger out of his siblings (has a baby face). He’s done well in jobs and my grandparents always favoured him, it wasn’t unknown, it was clear and actually became a family joke.
When drunk he would hug us girls, (his nieces) growl in our ears and hug us so tight and so long we felt the need to laugh loud and say “ok enough” then he would pull his anger face and within a second start smiling and laughing. The family would say that’s just how he acts when drunk. It was always so uncomfortable and I always felt like he was having inappropriate thoughts and that’s why he would growl and when we would say loud ok enough he didn’t like being told no. I always thought I was sick for thinking like this, so never made a big deal.
Since my sibling coming forward other woman have reach out to me about what he’s done to them. I’m so proud of each of them and honoured they confided in me.
Again not my story to tell but all you need to know is, he is evil! He’s done stuff I have only heard about on the news. Thankfully a few incidents were reported to police…but unfortunately then dropped due to fear from his victims. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that monster carried on with his life like nothing ever happens with him. Exactly what he’s doing now! (meanwhile my sibling and mum are battling Severe mental health issues)
His fiancé who adored us and would confide in us about how nasty he was to her, would always say she’s lost her family due to staying with him, and never wanted to loss us (niece). I told her so many times to leave him after what she would tell me and I always said I would always look at her like an auntie to me regardless. She to is a victim! Sadly he’s now got her standing up for him. It’s truly heartbreaking.
I’m just so scared he’s going to get away with it because of his well put together persona he has.
ALL his victims (god knows how many) need justice!
Prey with me, Please god let the justice system payoff, she’s been so brave. Amen.

Questions:
1.1: What Is A Roblox Exploit?

• An exploit is the use of glitches and software vulnerabilities in Roblox by a player to alter the game or gameplay for an unfair advantage.
• Exploits have been defined as a form of cheating, so basically, an exploit is a program designed by developers and hacking enthusiasts when it comes to gaming.
• An exploit can allow you to use cheats in-game that would normally be unallowed or frowned upon. Such as an aim bot to lock on players' heads/bodies ensuring every hit, as well as flying, super jump, wall hacks, unlimited money, and other useful features.
• Many users believe that the correct term for programs that change Roblox for a player's advantage is “exploiting”, and others believe “hacking” is the correct term.
• However, hacking is the act of gaining unauthorized access to a system while exploiting is abusing a vulnerability to do the same.

1.2: Why does Windows think it's a virus?

• Antiviruses usually mistake Roblox exploits as viruses due to their nature. Most if not all modern Roblox exploits work by injecting some sort of .dll file into Roblox and running Lua code (Scripts) in the environment it creates.
• .dll injection isn't just used by game cheats. They are also used by malware. Due to this antiviruses try to quarantine/delete all .dll injectors that they detect without actually knowing if they are safe or not. This does not mean that all .dlls are viruses.
• Credits to: KRNL Server for info.

1.3: Why does Google think it's a virus?

• Most exploits are false positives because google thinks it’s malicious as 1.2the question says.
• Just make sure you downloaded the exploits on their official websites, as other people can skid them and add viruses to them.
• If you have trust issues don't get an exploit.
• https://whatexploitsare.online/ will have the original links and will show you what exploits are online.

1.4: I know that the exploit is a false positive, but how am I supposed to download it now?

• Windows Solution: If you’re on google, just press CTRL + J and click “keep dangerous file”, don’t forget to turn off your anti-virus before clicking “keep dangerous file”, the reason you need to turn your antivirus off is so that it doesn't automatically delete the file.
• I don't know what the mac solution is since I don't have one to test it out.

1.5: Why does the exploit say that my DLL or other files are missing?

• It’s because you forgot to exclude the file with your anti-virus.
• in order to do this you need to go to (Windows Security > Exclusions) and whitelist the file, to prevent the anti-virus from removing it, after that, you don't have to worry about your anti-virus deleting the exploit, since it is whitelisted and won't be scanned by the Windows Defender.
• Just make sure it stays on the file parent. Basically, if you place it in your downloads folder, just keep it there, if you place it on anything else it will automatically be removed, and you'll have to redownload again.
• If you have any other 3rd party anti-viruses such as avast, disable them. Also on the other note, avast is dogshit, don't use it, it's too overprotective, and will literally think almost everything you download is a virus.

1.6: Why do some free exploits have annoying key systems?

• The reason for this exploit having a key system is to support the developers of the exploit, this is for them to keep updating the exploits, and domains and feeding their staff.
• Also if an exploit is shit and has a key system, it's most likely that they are just after the money. If this certain exploit can't run most scripts change to another one.

1.7: Why does it say "Roblox has been updated, please wait for an unpatch."?

• Roblox normally updates every Wednesday-Thursday depending on your time zone, so all exploits are normally patched. There are some cases where Roblox updates on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday.
• Just wait for them to un-patch, it normally takes 1-24 hours, it depends on how fast they fix it.
• If Roblox did a rollback update you don't have to worry. Since they're still at the same version as the exploit is, basically means the exploit isn't patched since they did a rollback update.
• Be patient, and just wait for a patch, since the developers have no idea what time they'll fix it. There are some scenarios where the developers are sleeping **ahem 3ds incident 6/24/2021**

1.8: Will I get banned from using exploits?

• Injection - Yes, you will get banned for using exploits if you are using a free injector, please use exploits on your alternative/second accounts, and your accounts will/be deleted or suspended, BUT if you have Script-Ware/SynapseX (sex lol), most likely you will be safe from our community experience.
• Ingame bans - Depends, if the game has anti-cheats, if you love your account then please don't use it on the main to test them, use a dummy account first.

1.9: Why does my exploit say that it can't find Roblox?

• You are either using Windows 7, or you're using the windows/Microsoft version. Make sure you're using the web version in order for your exploit to work, otherwise it won't.

1.10: Why does it say my exploit is outdated?

• It looks like you're fucking blind and can't read what the exploit said, it literally said it's outdated. So in order to update, rerun the exploits bootstrapper, or reinstall it.

1.11: How do I prevent Roblox from screenshotting or recording my screen?

• If your exploit has an auto-execute, add this script to it

​

setfflag("AbuseReportScreenshot", "False") setfflag("AbuseReportScreenshotPercentage", "0") 

• Also, make sure your exploit supports setting the flag.

1.12: How do I prevent Roblox from IP banning me? I'll explain why this is useless.

• Now only account bans/warns/sus exist, you can't get IP banned, only if you do something badass like hacking the Roblox WEBSITE.

1.13: How do I check if I'm going to get banned in the next ban wave, or if I'm tainted?

• So if you want to know if your account is tainted or not you would have to press the following:

Win + R %appdata% Go out of the Roaming folder Go into the Local folder Find Roblox Open the Logs File. If you find an archive file in there open one of them and you'll see if you're tainted. If it says "IsTainted=false" you're basically safe If it says "IsTainted=true" you'll be banned in the next banwave.

A detailed explanation:

• Basically, if you're on your main and the log says "IsTainted=true" it means you'll get banned in the next ban wave. If you make a new account basically what Roblox does is that the logs will change into that new account, even if you stay on an innocent account the logs on your other main account will stay and will still be banned from the main account t banned. Hope this helps.
• Basically, only your account that is tainted will get banned.
• Note: ROBLOX rarely does ban waves nowadays, don't worry about this part ( Heya! Now it's important. )

1.14: Why can't I run require(id) scripts?

• Filtering Enabled is a form of anti-exploiting Roblox has implemented.
• Basically, Filtering Enabled (FE) disables client modification of server values, or in simpler words, the client can't make changes to the game (credit to scriptinghelpers.org)
• As Roblox says: Enabling Filtering Enabled is the best way of restricting exploiters from ruining your games. When it is enabled, with a few exceptions, changes made by clients will not replicate to the server (and therefore will not replicate to other clients). This means, if your game is properly designed, exploiters will find it much harder to operate in your game.
• Meaning you won't be able to run these types of scripts.

1.15: How do I copy a game?

• This is actually very simple, you just have to execute this script:

​

saveinstance() 

• Your exploit must have a decompiler in order to do this.

1.16: How do I place backdoors in a game?

• They add a hidden script in one of the parts, and when someone inserts the free model with the backdoor, and he publishes the game, the script with the backdoor will announce it to the discord via webhook and will show the game that has the backdoored model in it.
• You can go to YouTube and find how to make a backdoor if you wish to do this, but the dude who uses the model needs to have 0 IQ so good luck.

1.17: What do Auto-Inject/Attach and Auto Execute mean?

• Auto Attach/Inject basically, when you join a game and the exploit is running in the background it will automatically inject.
• Auto Execute basically, as soon as you inject your exploit it automatically executes the script that is on your autoexec folder.

1.18: Why should I not get exploits from YouTube?

• They are mostly skidded, and are most likely using an overused API, and then calling in their own exploit.
• They also probably just want money, and stop developing it later on. (Through linkvertises.)

1.19: Are levels 6-8 the same?

• EDIT - Levels today don't mean a lot, it's more about injection right now, all of the LVL ads are marketing bullshit.

1.20: Are there any exploits that support Windows 7?

• Barely any exploits support Windows 7, I'd recommend upgrading to Windows 10

1.21: Are linkvertises safe when getting keys?

• Yes, they are just making sure to remove any addons they want to add in your Chome and turn off linkvertises notifications as they can be super annoying sometimes.
• EDIT - sometimes Linkvertise asks to download something, but don't.

1.22: Is WeAreDevs/WRD a virus?

• N, o it's not, it USED to be a virus since the owner got RATTED but now he has gotten his account back, and WRD is now safe to use. Although some of the exploits there has a shady history like JJSploit, it used to be a bitcoin miner or smth happened with the owner, but it's got fixed and now it's safe but detected and crashes a lot.

1.23: Oh my god why does krnl.rocks, krnl.gg, and etc. say it's not working anymore?

• Their domain might've gotten removed, the new one is krnl.place, this might change in the future again, but I'll change it once I get info about it.

1.24: What do I do if an exploit database gets leaked and my information is in it?

• Check if your password is there and immediately change it, if your IP is also leaked in the DB make sure to restart your router or something.

1.25: What are some fun scripts to use?

• You can go ahead and check out my random script list in Github, although it has not been updated for months.
• You can see them here: GitHub

Before we head to other details, I'll explain what the most used scripts are and what they do.
What are some exploiting forums out there that I recommend?
1.1: V3rmillion (https://v3rmillion.net/)

• Basically biggest exploiting forum out there, a wholesome and somewhat toxic community, just need to get past the annoying captcha whenever you log in, there are also giveaways, sales, and etc., you can find scripts, and other exploits made by others, you can find almost all the good paid scripts here, super helpful community if you're asking adding more useful stuff into your script, just be careful on what you click, and make sure they do not log your IP, and make sure they are not an exe file, and last but not the least make sure there's also a virus scan before downloading a specific exe file.

1.2: Sir Memes Forum (https://forum.robloxscripts.com/)

• Same as v3rm its a pretty big exploiting forum, there are also giveaways, sales and etc., and a very active community, you can also find scripts and other exploits, just be careful on what you click, and make sure they are not a .exe file, if you do download .exe make sure there's also a virus scan before downloading a specific .exe file.

1.3: WeAreDevs Forum (https://wearedevs.net/forum)

• A good place to ask for scripts or find scripts, somewhat active community, just not the most helpful, but still good though.

I'd like to learn how to script (ROBLOX LUA), so how do I do it?
1.1: Explanation

• First of all, learning how to fully understand scripting is very hard as the progress can take to months, or years.
• What you need is dedication, you won't be able to understand the basics in just a day. But if you're autistic enough maybe you will.

1.2: Tutorials

• If you want to learn how to make simple scripts, and also intermediate ones I'd recommend wYn#0001's tutorials, they are very good and he also teaches you how UI Library works. Check his channel out.
• It's recommended to know about Roblox LUA first, or any scripting languages in general (since it's easier to understand).

What are some places to get/download scripts?
1.1: Roblox scripts (http://robloxscripts.com/)

• Probably one of the most known script-providing sites for exploiting, it normally posts 5-15 scripts daily and averages around 300+ scripts each month.

1.2: V3rmillion Forum (https://v3rmillion.net/)

• A place where you can find paid scripts, FE scripts, exclusive scripts, and other utilities. This is where the big boys are at.

1.3: WeAreDevs Forum (https://wearedevs.net/forum)

• A small community, you can get some scripts here but don't be that dumbass that sells "dark dex v2 rare" cause you're going to get shit on.

1.4: Dark Eccentric's Youtube (Youtube)

• The biggest script-providing channel on youtube, you can find some fun FE scripts, and other stuff as well such as required scripts that can only be executed with server sides.

1.5: Pastebin

• You can find a few scripts in Pastebin, but these are not very effective. But you can try to find certain scripts such as "Revis admin Pastebin"

I want to make a simple script hub, how do I do it?
1.1: How to make a simple one

• I wish I had the energy to actually just make one but I'm just going to send a YouTube link on how to do it.
• Youtube GUI To LUA Plugin

1.2: I want to use a UI Library instead of making my own UI

• If you like to spice things up a bit I'd recommend using a UI Library if you're lazy to make a GUI yourself, here's a GitHub where you can find a lot of UI Libraries: https://github.com/Eazvy/UILibs/tree/main/Utilitys

How do I make an executor with an already-made API?
1.1: Getting the APIs

• Two of the most popular APIs known are WRD API (https://wearedevs.net/d/Exploit%20API) and EasyXploit API (https://easyexploits.com/downloadexploit?id=6)
• You can find the tutorial for WRD API here and EasyXploits API here.

1.2: Tools Needed

• You need Microsoft's visual studio code in order to work on the APIs (https://visualstudio.microsoft.com/)

What are some good server sides? I'll be listing and explaining why server sides are not worth it.
ServerSides don't last long, it can end whenever the games are limited, there might be a lot of players but it's most likely just people that don't bother at all. It's like they're too shy to chat. I'm not gonna list other server sides because they're not worth it brother man. If you're looking for free server sides, NONE, and if there were they'd probably be shit.
Now that we finished explaining the basics, here are some exploits I recommend and NOT recommend. Free Exploits:
JJSploit (https://wearedevs.net/d/JJSploit)

• Most popular free exploit, I honestly don't recommend this, the UI is shitty, every time you inject it's a guaranteed crash, whenever you execute a script you literally drop 30 frames. If you execute print("hello world") it might even crash that's how bad it is, the older version could do better than the new versions.

KRNL (https://krnl.place/)

• Most popular recommended free exploit, I recommend this, good UI, rarely crashes, can run some complicated scripts, best free exploit IMO, just has a key system but it's to help the creators of the exploit.

Oxygen U (https://wearedevs.net/d/Oxygen%20U)

• Basically your KRNL backup if it's down or in maintenance, has good UI, rarely crashes, can run some complicated scripts, and also has a key system but the same as KRNL it is to help the creators of the exploit.

Fluxus (https://wearedevs.net/d/Fluxus)

• Good ol' mac exploits that merged with scripture and are now pc only. It is not available on mac anymore but this is still a very good exploit for pc. Good UI but sometimes crashes.

Paid Exploits:

Synapse X (https://x.synapse.to/)
Costs: 15.00-20.00 Dollars
The one and only Synapse X, the best of the best, hottest paid exploit in the market, heavily recommends this. Rarely crashes, has good UI, and fast updates. Also has synapssynapse-onlye only scripts available. Can execute almost all scripts, and is undetected.
Script-Ware (https://script-ware.com/)
Costs: 13.00-19.99 Dollars
Has a dashboard, and has a friends list which I think is pretty cool, good UI, and fast updates, also have a very big script hub, and a lot of featured scripts, also available on mac, make sure to keep your eyes on this exploit, it is evolving it might even be better than synapse in the future, who knows. ( EDIT it is now lol )
Important things to note:

• Do not join the fake KRNL discord serverdiscord.gg/krnl they will token log you, do not download anything that is given by the fake Ice Bear.
• WeAreDevs is safe, back in 2018 the owner got RATTED, and placed hidden viruses in the exploits that used to be there. It is now safe and there is no need to worry about it.
• We do not brute force accounts, even though the subreddit name is "hacking" it doesn't mean we're actually hackers.
• We're not KRNL support they have their own support in their discord server. (https://krnl.place/invite.html)

​
made by u/OfficiallyRandom, edited by me.

I’m currently on a journey to get a six pack which I’ve wanted for a long time and I’m finally trying to put the work in but what should I eat and how much should I eat? What kind of extra supplements or vitamins should I consume. I weigh about 130 pounds, I’m 18 and 5 foot 11. I have little fat on my stomach. At this point I’m just eating normal food granted it’s not the healthiest but not the worst either. I’d like to lose more fat on my stomach as well. What is the most effective way to do that? Thanks.

For starters, I {31F} met my husband {32M} 10 years ago on a dating app and overall this man is exceptionally hard working, sweet, respectful, and is a great father to our 4 year old. My issue is this, about a year into dating I brought up whether he could see himself marrying me and he obviously didn't want to hurt my feelings because he was trying to word it properly but he told me he didn't imagine marrying someone "like me" (I was the first heavier person he dated). He said it was because he wanted to have children with someone who could keep up with them which is a valid concern of course but nonetheless I was incredibly hurt by what felt like reflection. At the time I was at my heaviest (280lbs) and I agreed that I needed to be healthier and ended up losing about 100 lbs in close to a year. When I lost the weight, I noticed that he was more affectionate and told me how good I looked so I was feeling pretty good about our attraction to each other. After about 2 years of dating, we agreed to get engaged (no proposal really, just talking about it in bed one night). Keep in mind, my weight has always fluctuated and I've had a hard time losing it due to PCOS. I ended up gaining about 50lbs back by the time we got married. During the course of 7 years since then, we've had a child together and in every way, I feel like he's amazing.
However, he's never seen me naked except maybe once or twice when we were drunk in our twenties. I can't get myself to be comfortable enough and I truly feel it's because of the conversation years ago when he basically told me I wasn't his type. I've discussed it with him on multiple occasions and he says that after he saw what I was capable of (meaning the weight loss) and saw how I struggled to lose it with my PCOS, it proved to him I wasn't lazy and that I saw our relationship as important and i was capable of change if I wanted it so it doesn't matter to him what I weighed as long as I am healthy. He says he's attracted now and I'm 240-250lbs with a mom bod. I know people can't help what they're attracted to though and I feel like he just wants to be.
I'll be the first to admit that I am ALOT to handle in other ways, I struggle with anxiety and depression (and daddy issues lol) on a daily basis and he honestly is a saving grace for me in many ways but I can't bring myself to be that vulnerable because I'm afraid of his reaction (or lack of) and/or how I could possibly misinterpret it. Also, it's been 10 years together and he's never seen me naked so it feels like a big deal and I wouldn't even know how to change how we are now.
Here's my question. Can someone grow attraction over time and actually be physically attracted to someone they would've never been attracted to before? Think "fat vs skinny". Has anyone else struggled with a similar issue and how do I let go of a conversation we had at 22 years old? I wish I could just forget it ever happened.
Advice welcome, but don't come for my husband.

Hello everyone I am Ruble and I am just one of the many teachers in our community. I am a 31 years old and a Veteran of destiny going all the way back to the D1 Beta. I have more time in the game that I would care to even admit.
We understand that people have anxiety or have had really bad experiences and we know how much energy it can take to join for stuff like this. When you join the discord you can watch and see how things are and you can even talk and just hang out. There is no pressure!
we are very passionate about destiny especially when it comes to raids and end game content. Not only are Passionate about raiding , but we love to teach all aspects of the raid to others! ( this usually entails multiple runs to get people fully comfortable). The other teachers and I don't like the term sherpa because to me it's a one and done thing as I like to continually teach and help people not only get better, but be able to teach themselves. The community we have been building is where people can come to not only learn raids and end game content, but to continue to raid in a safe, inclusive, nontoxic environment. I would love to have everyone of all skill levels and all walks of life ( that includes every platform too) join us. Are you a super raider that knows everything and wants to pay it forward by teaching others? Awesome come join us. Are you new to raiding and end game content and want to learn? Come join us we will help you and make sure your time is fun and amazing. we have had people who have anxiety and a fear of letting people down in content... and that’s okay. we are here to show you that you can also enjoy the content like we do.
​
Here is what we like to do
· All raids ( including Root of Nightmares and Garden+Div runs)
· All Dungeons
· Story content
· Nightfalls and GMs
· Anything in destiny
Destiny is for everyone and even the endgame content is for everyone. we do not gatekeep and we do not allow it to happen. We also have a clan that is tied to the discord, but it is not necessary to join the discord.
With over 550 Guardians we have made a very inclusive and safe environment where everyone is helping everyone and people are teaching each other. We would love to have you!
HOW TO GET THE LINK
The link is in my Reddit Bio but Alternatively IF you want the Link you can either Leave you Discord user name in the comments ,DM or chat me your discord user name. I got suspended by reddit for "spamming" messages because of the response I got last time.
IF you give me your Discord name please make sure I can message you. otherwise I have to send you a friend request and most of the time people don't look.

I've been in IT for almost 20 years and have been very lucky to have in-house labs at most of my jobs. I am currently at a private MSP type of a company with a bunch of portfolio companies and each one has a different environment. So I am not too worried about not learning new things. I can spin up almost any lab I want at the office or any of our portfolio companies. I am systems engineer btw.
TLDR; Need a simple home lab for virtualization and looking for creative ideas for a small environment.
I still want to build a small lab at home. Had one when I lived in a townhouse and was married, but now I am moving to the city with a much smaller place, so space is going to be an issue.
I have a 24U rack. I have a primary workstation in a 4U server chassis. I transferred my desktop hardware to that box so I can mount it in the rack. I have another chassis just like the first one that's going to be used as a NAS. That NAS is going to be for my Plex library for the most part, a few datastores for my virtualization environment, and that's really it. I am not doing anything crazy there. May be as a backup for my workstation, but I am also planning to get another cheap backup device to backup my whole environment.
My issue is that I don't know what I want to do! I've worked with so many different types of infrastructures that anything I do is going to be lame compared.
What what you do in my place? I want to have a virtualization lab and that is primarily my interest here, a long with creating my own domain for various testing purposes. Any benefits to having a physical VMware or Proxmox lab vs just doing it all in VMware Workstation for example? I was thinking about getting two used servers from our hardware vendor, I can usually get them for under a grand, and using them to host either VMware or Proxmox, but the rack is going to be in my living area (I have a loft), so I don't want anything too loud and obviously don't want to have a HUGE electrical bill. All I need is to have a virtualization lab, a switch, may be 2 for redundancy, FreeNAS or another NAS server that I am going to build soon, and that's really it. Nothing crazy or complex. So how would you do this if you were in my place and let's say had $3K to spend on hardware?
I'd love to do VMware with physical Hosts and not nested VMs, with proper vCenter, HA, DRS, ext., but vCenter licensing is a pain. I used to get it for "free" or "cracked" in my younger days, but now I think the only option is that VMUG. I don't know. I am not too familiar with Proxmox, but I am sure I could figure it out. May be do a physical Proxmox cluster and then run VMware on top of it (I need to stay on top of VMware technologies as most of our portfolio companies use some version of VMware)
Anyway. Thanks for reading and your suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am just lacking any kind of imagination at this point.

I love the 1897 storyline but as it reaches its conclusion it sure is filled with inconsistencies. I think it’s because it goes on too long and maybe the writers just got tired. lol Here’s a couple going on during my current watch of the last few weeks in 1897 before they go back to 1969. I’m watching the episode in which Angelique and Barnabas tell Quentin how they created a doppelgänger. She did it by trapping Barnabas essence in a mirror!! But, but we all know that Barnabas as a vampire has no reflection!! That’s just silly! Here’s another one. Barnabas has once again been cured of vampirism but it took many injections, started by Julia and finished by Angelique. Yet, since I’ve watched the series numerous times, I know that an 1840 Angelique can just lift the curse!! Another thing going on is that Kitty (the reincarnation of Josette) hears Barnabas beating heart (like Willie in 1967 time line when Barnabas was a vampire) from his portrait and feel’s summoned to him but Barnabas is cured!! Dark Shadows in known for a lot of inconsistencies in the writing and it will never make me love it less; But , the writers sure must of been tired by the end of the 1897 arc! lol

Hello everyone I am Ruble and I am just one of the many teachers in our community. I am a 31 years old and a Veteran of destiny going all the way back to the D1 Beta. I have more time in the game that I would care to even admit.
We understand that people have anxiety or have had really bad experiences and we know how much energy it can take to join for stuff like this. When you join the discord you can watch and see how things are and you can even talk and just hang out. There is no pressure!
we are very passionate about destiny especially when it comes to raids and end game content. Not only are Passionate about raiding , but we love to teach all aspects of the raid to others! ( this usually entails multiple runs to get people fully comfortable). The other teachers and I don't like the term sherpa because to me it's a one and done thing as I like to continually teach and help people not only get better, but be able to teach themselves. The community we have been building is where people can come to not only learn raids and end game content, but to continue to raid in a safe, inclusive, nontoxic environment. I would love to have everyone of all skill levels and all walks of life ( that includes every platform too) join us. Are you a super raider that knows everything and wants to pay it forward by teaching others? Awesome come join us. Are you new to raiding and end game content and want to learn? Come join us we will help you and make sure your time is fun and amazing. we have had people who have anxiety and a fear of letting people down in content... and that’s okay. we are here to show you that you can also enjoy the content like we do.
​
Here is what we like to do
· All raids ( including Root of Nightmares and Garden+Div runs)
· All Dungeons
· Story content
· Nightfalls and GMs
· Anything in destiny
Destiny is for everyone and even the endgame content is for everyone. we do not gatekeep and we do not allow it to happen. We also have a clan that is tied to the discord, but it is not necessary to join the discord.
With over 550 members we have made a very inclusive and safe environment where everyone is helping everyone and people are teaching each other. We would love to have you!
https://discord.gg/glimmerandaccessories
when you hop in come say hi and get to know everyone in the community

Have been talking to a guy, i really like him and things are getting serious. We were talking about the topic of cheating and he was saying things like “all men cheat” “it’s in their nature” “doesn’t matter if she’s a 10/10 model or perfect wife, they’ll cheat”.
To me just this mentality is a big red flag. He also has said many times that loyalty, respect, modesty, not having a past of sleeping around - are all things he expects of his woman. As well as “no bikini or revealing pics on instagram” . yet likes endless bikini pics of girls on instagram.
Am i overreacting by cutting him off because of this?
should i confront him with how i feel, and maybe give him a chance to explain? or just let it go and remove him off everything?
tia 💜

Hey
I don't know where else to post this.
I live in EU an recently graduated from an MSc in Finance from one of the top schools of my country(Not very top, but top). I have 1.5year of work experience in prestigious banks in front roles. I'm looking for my first job/graduate programme in asset/wealth management, but I'm now also expanding to Equity research and trading.
Ive been looking for a job for 6+ months now, and I'm starting to feel anxious about it.
I have a great resume according to an HR I know in a bank in the area I live. I don't have any problem in interviews and usually feedback is very positive.
Unfortunately I've ran into the following issues

1. 90% of the job offers I see on Linkedin and other websites, besides graduate programmes, even so called 'junior' positions require minimum 3 years of experience which is of course impossible to have for a recent graduate. I have 4 internships totalling 1.5year of work experience and thats more than most of my peers. Is it the current market or is it always like that? Ive had HR people on the phone tell me they have not had an actual junior position open in almost a year, except in IT/Back office roles.
2. I rarely get interviews even when my profile is really whats described in what they are looking for, when I do I usually go all the way to final rounds and do great(according to them) but they just pick someone else without explanation. I recently went to the last round for a JP Morgan graduate programme and both interviewers had very positive feedback, but they did not choose me, and thats it. It happened several times.
3. When applying for a graduate programme here, idk how it is in the US but in EU it usually takes more than 6 months. I literally had the first interview at JP Morgan in September, nothing for 5 months and then HR called me for the last round in Mid February. Most processes seem to be extremely long.
4. Various administrative issues mostly getting a work permit/VISA for the main countries where I would like to work(95% of job offers for the UK you need to be from the UK because they cannot sponsor, and many jobs in Switzerland ask for a work permit before you even apply too)

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Anyone else in similar situation? Honestly I'm rather proud of my interships(both the banks and the roles) but it does not seem to do much. I'm trying to improve but don't know what to do.
​
Thanks for reading

I have been reading about we how command center being improved but have seen lots of complaints on Reddit. I’m waiting to get my new M16 to come and haven’t seen it yet. For those who have their new computers. Has Dell released the newest version of command center? If so, is it causing just as many problems as the older version?

Hi everyone! I've let AI write for me two original bedtime stories for my children that i believe are really good. Each story also comes with a lesson.
So I would love to hear your thoughts. Maybe you could read one them to your children!!
If you liked the stories, at the bottom of the post there is a google form where you can send me your email and i will send you some other stories
Toby the Elephant and Wido the Spider's Adventure
Once upon a time, in the dense forests of Africa, there lived a gentle elephant named Toby. Toby had big floppy ears, a long trunk, and a pair of sharp tusks. He loved to spend his days munching on juicy leaves, taking refreshing dips in the nearby river, and playing with his elephant friends.
One day, while Toby was enjoying a lazy afternoon by the river, he noticed a tiny spider named Wido trying to climb up his trunk. "Hey, what are you doing up there?" asked Toby, surprised.
"I'm trying to get to the top of your head to see the view from up there," replied Wido, determinedly.
Toby chuckled. "Well, I can give you a lift if you want."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," said Wido, with a big smile.
Toby carefully lifted Wido with his trunk and placed him on his head. Wido was delighted to see the world from a different perspective, and Toby enjoyed having a new friend to talk to.
As they were admiring the view, they noticed a group of animals in the distance, running frantically. "What's going on over there?" asked Toby, concerned.
Wido squinted her eight tiny eyes. "It looks like they're running away from something."
Without wasting a moment, Toby and Wido rushed to see what was happening. As they got closer, they saw that the animals were being chased by a fierce lion.
"We have to help them," said Toby, bravely.
Wido nodded in agreement. "But how? We're just an elephant and a spider."
Toby looked around and saw a nearby tree with a beehive hanging from its branch. He got an idea. "Wido, do you know how to weave a web?"
"Yes, I do," replied Wido, intrigued.
"Good. We'll use the honey from that beehive to lure the lion away from the other animals, and then you'll weave a web to trap him," explained Toby.
Wido was impressed. "That's a brilliant plan!"
Toby and Wido quickly put their plan into action. Toby broke the beehive with his trunk, and the sweet smell of honey attracted the lion's attention. The lion chased after Toby, while Wido quickly weaved a web in front of him. The lion got trapped in the web, and the other animals were safe.
Toby and Wido looked at each other, proud of what they had accomplished. "We did it!" said Toby, grinning.
Wido smiled. "We make a great team."
As they walked back home, they realized that even though they were different, they had worked together to solve a big problem. "We never have to lose faith in ourselves or each other," said Toby, wise words that he had learned from his wise old grandmother.
Wido nodded. "That's right. With faith, we can accomplish anything."
And so, Toby the Elephant and Wido the Spider's adventure ended, but their friendship continued to grow stronger with each passing day. From that day on, they knew that they could always count on each other, no matter what.
Kyle and Katie's Big Adventure
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Kyle. He was a shy and quiet boy who didn't have many friends. Kyle was always nervous about talking to new people and making friends. He attended a school called Bright Minds Academy. It was a big school with a lot of students, but Kyle always felt like he was alone.
One day, while Kyle was exploring the school's library, he stumbled upon a book about outer space. He was fascinated by the book and started reading it. As he was reading, he heard a voice behind him.
"Hey, that's a cool book!" said the voice.
Kyle turned around and saw a girl named Katie. She had bright blue eyes and curly brown hair.
"Y-yeah," stammered Kyle. "I-I like space."
"Me too!" said Katie. "I'm Katie, by the way. What's your name?"
"I'm Kyle," replied Kyle, feeling a bit more comfortable now that he had met someone who shared his interests.
From that day on, Kyle and Katie became friends. They spent their free time exploring the school and learning new things together. One day, while they were exploring the school's basement, they found a secret door. Curious, they opened the door and found a dark room with a mysterious machine in the center.
"Wow, this is so cool!" exclaimed Katie.
"I don't know," said Kyle nervously. "This looks dangerous."
But before Kyle could say anything else, Katie pressed a button on the machine. Suddenly, the room started to shake, and Kyle and Katie were transported to outer space!
"Woah, this is amazing!" said Katie, looking out of the window at the stars.
But then, they saw a giant asteroid heading towards their spaceship.
"Oh no, what do we do?" cried Kyle.
"I don't know," said Katie, looking scared.
But then, Kyle remembered what he had learned from his space book. He told Katie to help him steer the ship towards the asteroid and to press a button at the right moment.
Together, Kyle and Katie worked to steer the ship towards the asteroid and press the button. They succeeded, and the asteroid was destroyed!
"Wow, we did it!" exclaimed Katie.
"Yeah, we make a great team!" said Kyle, smiling.
As they flew back to earth, Kyle realized that he had made a new friend and that he didn't have to be afraid of making friends anymore. He was grateful for Katie and the adventure they had shared.
The End.
If these stories interested you, follow the link bellow, give us your email and fill out the Google form. I'll send you additional stories!!!
Click this to acces the google Form

https://preview.redd.it/2b3vzf7gjbpa1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad641bdd8fcdbd60c341047d353838a0fa0e3bf9
Never posted a review before but here goes!! I won the Shucked lottery on my first try, and sat in the third row of the Mezzanine pretty far off to the side. The show ended up meeting my expectations: from what I’d read on here, I assumed it wouldn’t really be my cup of tea, but would still be a fun way to spend the evening. Some thoughts:

• The book: The show almost felt more like a comedy show than a musical. The script is full of jokes that have no relation to the plot -- like the writers wrote 80 one-liners and parachuted them in whenever they could.
• The music: Enjoyed a couple of the songs a lot! I liked both the ones that Andrew Durand sang (Somebody Will ? especially), and Alex Newell’s was a LOT of fun. Got chills during both, which, to me, is worth $40 to be moved like that! Will definitely be checking those out on the cast album. I thought the others were mostly forgettable.
• The cast: There were some great performances. The only one I didn’t love was John Behlmann as Gordy, but I thought Caroline Innerbichler and the rest of the cast were impressive. Grey Hanson and Ashley Kelly were really well cast and a lot of fun. The voice on Alex Newell!!
• The audience: Finally, the thing I can't stop thinking about. When the lights went down for both the first and second acts, the audience burst into applause, which surprised me. They also laughed so hard at every single joke, most of which I didn't find funny, including the many penis / poop / gay (c’mon people, really?) ones. It was such a raucous and thrilled crowd that I felt genuinely confused. Maybe since it’s still previews the theater was filled with friends of the cast? Did they plant people??? No shade to folks on here who enjoyed the humor! I was just surprised by how the audience was, from the get go, expecting to have the best night of their lives, and the cast seemingly went in with that attitude as well. I have been to MANY shows, over 60, and it’s rare to get a crowd to uniformly laugh at a single joke/be so responsive at all, let alone crack up laughing every 30 seconds.

Overall, again, not my cup of tea, but there are much worse ways to spend a Tuesday evening! It was a delight to see some truly great performers, and I was happy for them that the crowd was enjoying it so much.

When I posted a pic without a gun the #1 reply was were gun?
When I asked why I see so many blades on here that can't stab the #1 reply was I never need to step things. The #2 reply was assuming that the only reason I care about stabbing is because I'm a murderer.
For those of you wondering I stab things all the time. If I need to make a cut most of the it is a lot easier to stab in the middle and cut one way, then go back to the middle and cut the other way. I don't know how yall cut resist materials.

What can I do to troubleshoot/fix the issue? The spots appear next to the soffit vents so I believe this is the issue, but not sure how to address it. Could I seal off the vents? Or could there be an issue with the gutters (they’re old and have holes so I believe water could be seeping in)?
The bedroom has always had condensation issues and there are four large water spots that appear on the ceiling and it typically happens when cool air is being pushed towards the house or after a good rain.
The house is positioned close to the ocean and on the downwind side of a small valley so there’s a lot of cool air that collects here.
I’ve already added a large roofing fan, with the landlords permission I cut a hole on the backside of their roof and installed one with a temperature gauge, and have added R38 insulation above the room (the rest of the crawl space lacks insulation).
I’m pretty handy and can do most of the work myself.
Yes, I have permission from the landlords to fix the issue if it’s feasible (ie not replacing the roof).
No, they will not do the work themselves. I know this would be easiest, but they would rather have the house fall down then fix something.
I’m the ounce of prevention type, they are the pound of pain.
Also, I’ve talked to a few roofers before and they always say it’s lack of ventilation.
I’m unable to post photos as the post only provides an either or option for text or photos.

My point to this post and many others is to not only give advice to those of you who are new to OE, but also get feedback from others on what they're doing to survive OE. I also love the trolls who live in envy of the OE community and only post when we trigger their deepest insecurities or have FOMO.
If you saw my previous posts I talked about the crazy space I was in starting J3 and J4 two weeks apart and how bad that went. Fast forward a few weeks later, J4 is out of the picture this is how my life looks
J3 at first loaded me up with onboarding meetings (it was hell) and my manager constantly called me randomly throughout the day, this went on for almost three weeks. Now, I have to put things on her calendar just to get some time with her and I set up my own meetings, attend the meetings that I want to, and just ask lots of questions during meetings with lots of people to show how immature their current processes are, they eventually get annoyed for being called out or don't want to say anything else because I may create more work for them...which by the way is what I was hired to do as an Ops Process Manager
J2 still has very few meetings and my manager forgets about me most weeks unless I message her and just lets me work my processes, this has been a trend since I started two years ago. I once sent her a TEAMS message and she responded two days later apologizing and said ok to my FYI
J1, I love this job the most, it's the most challenging, and rewarding, and well I've been there the longest, it pays the best, and hope to never leave it, but I know many years from now I will have to based on certain circumstances of the position. At J1 I don't even have a manager, I have someone who approves my weekly project list and PTO days, but I haven't spoken to him in months and the team I'm on does its own thing. I know my job backward and blindfolded so they just leave me alone unless they need some type of operations role fulfilled.
So, as you can see, with time OE can work and will work if you trust the process and understand the risks associated as well as know when to get out. We live in a world where its only getting harder and if you're not looking out for yourself and are focused on loyalty to a company that will lay you off without thinking twice, you will fall behind which makes me sad for those of you already struggling
So to those who have anxiety about getting OE started and lurk forever or wondering how to survive in OE...be good at your job, fly under the radar, perform the required tasks and just do your job. If you cant achieve these, either move on from OE or move on from the position if its not OE-friendly. Many posts about how long they've been in their respected career space and how they make this work. OE is not for everyone, and as I always say, dont get caught up in the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) if you're not willing to accept the risks

I'm a fairly new DM and I'm about to start running a new campaign in a couple weeks. I've done a little bit of DMing before (I ran Delian Tomb and parts of Phandelver for this group before) but I still consider myself a very new DM. This time around I decided to design my own homebrew campaign from scratch without leaning on too many outside resources for inspiration. Below is a summary of the plot as well as some of the important details about the story and what the players will need to accomplish:

Plot

Our campaign is centered around a group of adventurers who are tasked with stopping a powerful and malevolent necromancer who is behind mysterious disappearances in the town of Brightwater! The necromancer, with the help of his cultists followers, has amassed an army of undead minions and has been steadily expanding his power and influence, threatening to plunge the entire town into eternal fate of living death. His goal is to amass enough power to turn himself into a Banelich! With the help of his cultist followers, the necromancer terrorizes the town and attempts to carry out his evil plot.
At first, the party doesn't know who is behind the disappearances or that he is a necromancer. They will need to talk to the townsfolks (who may or may not be helpful depending on if the party is willing to assist them with a side quest of some kind) to discover more information about the mysterious disappearances.
After doing some investigating and speaking to the locals, the party will discover that the first person to disappear was actually the local priest. He was well liked and respected by the townsfolk but upon talking to the new priest who took his place, the party is told that the new priest discovered some...strange things in the temple. Old books about necromancy, strange artifacts, scrolls with evil magic and information about the God Bane. The new priest tells the party that the old priest (the necromancer) used to belong to an order of monk who followed The Way of Long Death, but he doesn't know much other than that. He tells them to speak to the local farmer who delivers supplies to these monks on top of the nearby mountain every fortnight. He never sees them however, he just leaves the provisions in a drop box (yes I stole this from Skyrim).
Once the players make the treacherous journey up to the monastery and eventually meet the order, the abbot gives them the history of the necromancer: He was excommunicated from the order for his heretical views about death, the morality of necromancy, and his desire to devote himself to the god Bane. These monks are devoted to the power of death and view it as a natural part of the cycle of life. They are also sworn enemies of necromancers, who they view as corrupting the natural order of life and death. The players can hopefully conclude that the necromancer, upon being exiled, fled to the local town where he began to continue his research in secret, trying to discover how he could immortalize himself in undead form as a Banelich.
This is about all I have so far, i think there is certainly plenty here to get started with. My plan is to have the townsfolk have some other small quests that the party can assist with that will give them more and more information about the disappearances and help point the party towards the relevant persons of interest who get them to check out the monastery.
Any feedback on this campaign and potential problems you see with it are welcome! Also any ideas that can help flesh it out and make it more complex, exciting, have more depth, etc. Thanks all! l

Hello everyone,
Firstly I would like to say that this is not intended to be a hate post but instead a serious discussion.
We are all aware of how disastrous this game launch has been and the absolute deplorable actions, lack of change and animosity towards the player base who show legitimacy criticisms of CR and SFD.
Firstly I am looking for any and all laws and resources that would be applicable to SFD and crunchy roll pertaining to how a “random chance” game should be operated. The reason for this is I am in the process of building an evidence base and want to cross reference this with the law to see about the legitimate option of pursuing a lawsuit on behalf of the player base against crunchy roll or the company that would be held responsible for this.
Now I am NOT a lawyer, and I have sent emails and made phone calls to three different law firms regarding this matter and am currently waiting for correspondence from them. However if anybody does know of or could point me in the right direction of laws that would pertain to this game and the legal boundaries in which this must be operated within.
This is in the early stages and could become very costly so there are many hurdles ahead. However if correspondence from any of the law firms proves to be hopeful for a legitimate case then there is a possibility for the need of others to share information regarding their experience with SFD.
It is sad that they are biting the hand that feeds them (the player base) and blatantly show a complete disregard for people purchasing anything from them.
Please keep it mature and as hate free as possible in the comments.
Best regards

I’m sitting in the room you used to walk through to go out and smoke. This was also the door I walked through when I saw you lying there, screaming, dying. And I’m so angry at you for that.
I can never let that moment go. The garden felt so big, you felt miles away when you were only steps in front of me, but I couldn’t get to you. I was terrified. I have never been so scared in my entire life, from the one person who always protected me. You were supposed to be here. You were supposed to become a chef. You were supposed to leave your past behind and really live, and I wish you could see the amount of potential you had through my eyes. You wasted it forever, and I’m mad.
I am so proud of you. Being a father isn’t easy when you never had one to teach you, and you did a fucking good job, despite what we went through. Again, I was, and am, so proud of you. I hope you made peace with him, wherever you may be, and I hope he knows you kicked his ass at being a dad, and he will never live it down, even if he’s not alive today.
I’m really struggling without you, daily. I have all this love and nowhere to put it, and it just turns into sadness instead. I wish you knew for certain how much I love you, I wish you believed me when you asked if I did. I wish you sat on my bed and cried more, that we cried together more, because life is so hard and you deserved so much better.
I wish I wasn’t so bitter, and I tried my best to hide it, but you really hurt me. I understand addiction, I watched you take so many pills, I watched you drink too many drinks, I watched you gamble everything that we had, and I still knew you were sick, you were trying to heal wounds the wrong way, and I learnt from that. I thank you for these mistakes so I don’t repeat them. I try so hard not to repeat them, but it’s in my blood, and I’ll fight it forever.
I’ll never forget the goodness you left in this world, and I learnt the most from that. I’m a better person because of you and the example you set with how you treated others. You have the most beautiful heart, both you and mom, and I’m so angry that yours has stopped beating.
I was never supposed to fix this, but I wish every day that I could’ve. I’ve over analysed every possible way I could’ve saved you, even knowing that I never could, because I know nothing was going to save me when I was in your shoes.
I hope granny holds you tight every day, I hope she still sings, I hope that you have your grampa back, and I hope that you’re at peace.
Thank you for still leaving me signs that you’re around, I look for them everywhere. My heart will always be broken. A daughters first love is her father, and you broke my heart forever. I’m angry that this pain will never go away, but I also don’t want it to, because you deserve to be with me in every way.
I can’t look at old photos, because it just feels like lost innocence. I am not the same person I was before I lost you. I have lost friends, I have concerned family, I have said and done so much that I would never have thought to do if you were still here, and I still can’t figure out if that’s a good or a bad thing. I can’t figure out where my puzzle piece fits because you threw the entire thing off of the table. Where do you go when the worst thing that could happen actually happens? What am I supposed to do? Why can’t you come back and tell me it was a mistake and that you’re sorry and you make us burgers and we watch gameshows. Why can’t we just work together to build our house back because we already had a home with you. Now I don’t know where my home is anymore.
You made me aware that pain is tangible, because I feel it all over my body. My chest hurts when I think of the past. My body hurts when that wave of grief hits. The only thing that saves me is sleep, and sometimes I wish I won’t wake up. I wish that more than I’d like to admit, even to this day. I know you want me to wake up though.
People have hurt me, badly. And I’m angry that you’re not there to break the legs of the men who have caused me pain with that anger you struggled to control. An anger that terrified me and made life a living hell sometimes, but an anger that kept me safe. You said and did a lot of dumb shit, and I’m sure you hold yourself accountable now, and I know you did when the apologies did come. I hope you hold yourself accountable for the amount of pain and destruction the last stupid thing you did caused all of us. I still love you. And I hope you’d still love me through my own dumb shit. I think you would’ve, we’re very much the same.
I don’t feel like I can write enough to match how I feel about everything that’s happened since you passed, and the years that lead up to that. It’s all a haze, to be honest. It’s like a war zone in my mind and the only thing that sticks out through the ground is your gravestone. Everything else left with you. You are the biggest blessing, and the strongest tornado. I will never stop telling your story.
I’m now sitting in the garden where I last saw you alive. It’s a quiet evening. Courage is calm, for once. Mom is having church in the lounge surrounded by people who love her, and that brings me so much peace. I know they love you too. I miss you. I love you. I’ll write again soon.

I am NOT OP. Original post from relationship_advice by u/throwRA-beautifulboy
Trigger Warnings: alcoholism
Mood spoiler: Surprising Optimistic
A woman struggles with her boyfriend saying mean things to her in his sleep. She wonders if she's being too sensitive and how to keep her sensitivity from affecting their relationship.
Original Post: 10/17/2020 - My (25F) boyfriend (25M) says really mean things to me in his sleep.
TL;DR: My boyfriend yelled at me in his sleep, calling me annoying because I attempted to wake him up to get my blanket back.
I need to preface this by saying that when my boyfriend is awake, he is wonderful and I couldn’t be happier. We laugh and joke all day and spending time with him in general is truly a joy. Yes, I mean this. No, he doesn’t upset me at all when he’s awake. Also, for some background, he works night shifts at a job he really hates, so when he comes home, he likes to just relax unwind, usually with whiskey or beer. Typically we cuddle or I massage his back and legs until he’s drunk enough to fall asleep. [[EDIT: he doesn’t need alcohol to fall asleep. I worded this wrong. He can fall asleep fine without it, I just meant that the alcohol makes him fall asleep quicker than usual.]] I have insomnia so I usually end up staying awake for awhile after he falls asleep.
I’m also really sensitive to aggressive tone of voice due to some past trauma.
He only really talks in his sleep if I shift too quickly or try to move him over a little bit if I have no room on the bed or if I move the blanket too much and it disturbs him. he usually snaps at me saying “quit fucking moving!” or “can you please fucking stop” or “oh my fucking god,” just things in general that give off an indication that he’s really annoyed with me.
There’s also been a couple unprompted times where he’s stirred or rolled over (I guess disturbing his own sleep) and said things like “I can do better than this” etc.
Because of my sensitivity I usually end up crying over these things.
I try to make it a point not to bring up the things he says/does in his sleep (unless they’re funny which sometimes happens) because, for one, I really don’t think he can control it, and two, when I have brought up things he’s said, he always ends up feeling horribly guilty for the things he says and that makes me feel guilty for saying anything.
Last night, in his sleep, he ripped my blanket away from me (we sleep with separate blankets because this has been an issue in the past) and tucked it under himself and his own blanket. It was really cold in the room so I tried to take it back, but he grabbed my hand and shoved it away. I didn’t want to have to wake him up but he’s a lot stronger than me and no matter what I tried to do I just couldn’t get the blanket back.
I shook him gently and kept saying “baby, can you please give me back my blanket”. I was met with sleepy grunts but he still wouldn’t give it back. Finally after a little persistence he sat up really quickly and yelled “WHAT do you WANT? JESUS YOU’RE ANNOYING.” I said “I just want my blanket back please.” He shoved it towards me and nearly knocked me off the bed and then instantly laid back down and started snoring.
I didn’t sleep at all last night because of this. It’s really eating at me. I really don’t want to be annoying to him, especially when he’s trying to rest after work. But I also don’t know how I can keep putting up with this. Part of me wonders if he actually means any of the things he says. When he woke up this morning I couldn’t bring myself to say anything about it but I also couldn’t look him in the eye.
I guess my question in this is am I being too sensitive? Should I bring this up to him? I don’t know how much that would accomplish because he usually has no recollection of it and doesn’t know how to control it. What can I do to keep my sensitivity from affecting our relationship and the way I see him/myself?
First Update: 10/22/2020 - [UPDATE] My (25F) boyfriend (25M) says really mean things to me in his sleep.
First, I’d like to address the comments accusing my boyfriend of being an alcoholic, being abusive, accusing me of lying about how happy I am in the relationship, or claiming he wasn’t actually asleep during this and wanted an excuse to abuse me.
Y’all are, and really I cannot stress this enough, fucking crazy. What a leap. He functions just fine without alcohol and I’ve seen him go weeks without it. He doesn’t need alcohol to fall asleep. He drinks after work because that’s how he likes to unwind. The same as one might go to a bar on the weekend.
And for those of you with anecdotes about how your partners started off like this before leading into full-on abuse, I am deeply sorry that you endured that, and I wish healing on all of you. But that’s not what this is. I’ve known my boyfriend for 10 years. He doesn’t have an abusive bone in his body.
Onto the update:
Shortly after I made this post, I asked him if he thought I was annoying. He said “of course not,” and asked me what prompted the question. When I brought up what he did in his sleep, he got very quiet for a short while and then asked “Why didn’t you slap the shit out of me?” which made me chuckle quite a bit.
He then went onto say that he would prefer I tell him about the things he says in his sleep, stressing that if he crosses a line like that ever again I have full permission to smack the life out of him (I never would).
I asked him if it was a possibility that the alcohol was making his sleep more restless and he said “maybe, i don’t know.” I then asked him if it would be a possibility to try going a couple nights without alcohol, and he agreed.
Since then, our co-sleeping has been wonderful, restful, and peaceful—except for the night before last.
He shook me awake while I was sleeping, and I asked him what was up. “Baby....baby, I’ll show you.” I had no idea what he was talking about so I asked him. He said “I’ll show you.” I said “Baby, are you still asleep?” “Yeaaaaahhhhhhh.... I’ll show you.” He instantly started snoring again. I must’ve giggled myself back to sleep.
Anyways, I wanted to thank everyone for the kind advice and we’ve decided to cut alcohol out before bed as it’s seemed to help immensely. Bless <3
Final Update: 3/15/2023 - [UPDATE] My [25F] boyfriend [25F] says mean things to me in his sleep.
Hi. It’s me again.
Going back and reading these posts was insanely difficult. I want to kick myself for how deep in denial I was. Everyone in the comments was telling me that my boyfriend is an alcoholic and I fought so hard against that.
But it was true.
A few months after my last post, I had an epiphany moment. It was 3am, and he was drunk. He begged me to make him a pot of spaghetti because he liked the way I cooked it. I asked him if he would strain the pot for me, because the pot we had didn’t have thermal-safe handles (or whatever they’re called) and I often would burn myself trying to do it on my own.
He grumbled for a bit and said fine. But after less than 5 minutes he said he was going to hang out in our bedroom. I begged him not to, because he would fall asleep, and trying to wake him when he falls asleep drunk often became a nightmare of verbal abuse. He insisted he wouldn’t fall asleep, but lo and behold, he did. I thought to myself, Great. Now I get to choose between burning my hands, or being berated until I cry, all over a pot of fucking spaghetti. I chose to burn my hands.
I angrily made myself a plate and put the rest in a tupperware, and reality hit. I’m just like my mom.
My mom has been with an alcoholic for 13 years. He is awful to her in so many ways, but she puts up with it because A) she feels like she can’t do any better, and B) she believes it’s her duty as a wife to just deal with it quietly. And I was falling down the same path. I thought that if I could just grin and bear it, he’d see how much I love him and how much I do for him and realise that he needs to put in the same effort. Boy howdy was I fucking wrong.
I took off to a friend’s house for the night and he panicked when he woke up in the morning and I wasn’t there. He called me, crying, begging me to return. I unleashed all my feelings in return, and in more words told him that I didn’t have much of an incentive to return, and how could I know that he’d do better? His tears turned to anger, and he screamed down the phone. It was terrifying.
I ended up going back home to collect some things, and told him that I needed to separate from him because I didn’t know how to help him anymore, and as deeply as I loved him, I couldn’t stay and watch him kill himself any longer. I’ll never forget the look he gave me. It was like I had kicked him in the stomach.
I stayed with my friend for a month or so, with little to no contact with him. I ended up having to return to collect the rest of my stuff, and I noticed something strange. He had always been kind of a slob, leaving empty beer and liquor bottles on the floor beside his bed, but when I returned, by the side of his bed were only tea, soda, and water bottles. His face was less sunken, and he didn’t smell like beer at all.
When he went to the bathroom, I took a sneak peek in his garbage can just to be sure. It was full, but there were no signs of anything alcoholic. He caught me peeking, and asked what I was doing.
He then told me that he hadn’t touched alcohol since the day I left. I was shocked.
We ended up sitting and talking for awhile. He said being sober was hard and he had the shakes all the time, and he missed me. I missed him too. I’ve been infatuated with him since I was 13; those feelings weren’t going away anytime soon.
To wrap things up for the sake of character count, we ended up getting back together. He celebrates 2 years of sobriety this week. I’m so proud of him. He sleeps restfully now (with the exception of a mumble here or there in his sleep), and is no longer mean to me in any facet.
Also, we’re engaged now.
Thanks for reading. I’m sorry I fought you guys so hard, and thank you for telling me the truth even though I wasn’t ready to hear it.