Introductory financial concepts everfi answers

Hello, I will delete this post as soon as I receive an answer to avoid spam, but I am about to make a financial decision and articles online are not giving me the assurance that I need so I am asking here.
I have to make an IOS app for a school project. Did not realize you need a mac to do so. I know you need MacOS 12.5 monterrey.
I am looking on amazon for cheap macbooks and I found https://www.amazon.com/Apple-MacBook-MD711LL-11-6-Inch-Refurbished/dp/B01550MWHI/ref=sr_1_9?crid=3V3YPFNPI0V08&keywords=macbook&qid=1679497775&sprefix=macbo%2Caps%2C163&sr=8-9
Would this be able to run the newest version of Xcode and allow me to follow angela Yu's IOS development bootcamp and then make my project?
Thank you

I have issues trying to compare wealth across long periods of time. Asking, "Is a working-class American earning more today than 10 years ago?" is reasonably straightforward. But then how do we answer a question like, "Is a working-class American more wealthy than a 10th century English baron?"
And I don't know how to answer that. A lot of people argue, well today even working-class Americans have microwave ovens, and 100 channels of cable TV. We have air conditioning, and refrigerators. These are fabulous luxuries that were utterly impossible in the 10th century. So compared to even nobility, all but the most destitute Americans are fabulously wealthy. Wealthy beyond the wildest dreams of anybody living more than 100 years ago.
This kinda makes sense, but at the same time doesn't. Because I don't feel fabulously wealthy, even though I have an iPhone. I would trade my iPhone for all of the riches of Europe, in a heartbeat. But do I live a better standard of living than a 10th century baron? I mean, from the standpoint of sanitation probably yes? But somehow, I think that baron was probably happier than I am. But how can that be, if I'm objectively thousands of times wealthier simply by virtue of having an iPhone and a data plan?
I don't know. I struggle with the concept of wealth across long periods of time. How do economists handle it to figure out if say, middle-class Americans are wealthier today than they were in 1800?

I tried to understand what entropy is. Philosophically it's the measure of no. of ways, a certain macro state can be represented. This makes sense. We have internal energy in substances which can be transferred with temperature differences. While transferring energy, it reaches an equilibrium state where the temperature difference becomes zero and the entropy of this system reaches the maximum possible and even the attained macrostates have max possible microstates.
I read the translated version of Boltzmann's paper on his probability and thermal energy relationship. I didn't find the answer I was looking for exactly. He explained how he views the atoms and it's only possible to use probability to talk about them. I agree about probability.
Then comes max plank who works on heating a black body and finding the emitted spectrums derived by using the Boltzmann idea of entropy and defined S=k*logW. According to what he said, he simply assumed logW because he knows it's a function of W while following the rules of adding entropy and multiplying microstates. He added the Boltzmann constant k.
What I don't understand is what is the significance of "k"? Where did it come from? Is this S=klogW the first equation to where "k" appeared and we use this same value to find the avg kinetic energy of particles? And above all, how do we know that k*log(W) is equal to Q/T? Some say that k is a constant that converts temperature into energy?
I'm not looking for a philosophical meaning of entropy. Was looking in to how do we justify using k= Boltzmann constant to find entropy which can be connected to the classical entropy term.
I tried to derive this k*logW by using avg kinetic energy which relates heat transfer and also W which leads to something which don't tally with existing results. This entropy is one concept which makes my head burn. I know entropy is not a form of energy. I also understand why we find it hard to have 100℅ efficiency in heat to work transfer but I can't just understand this small complicated Boltzmann entropy formula
If there is any source or any thesis or any video or any help I can get from this community, it would be great. Thanks. Even if the answer is something which sounds like "we still don't know what entropy exactly is" that is fine too because I don't want to waste time on a problem that no one in this world knows the answer for. But I will try to think about it ones I get a job. Don't want to die starving before I understand it deeper.

I'm not sure if this is allowed, but I'm looking for answers from a financial perspective.
My girlfriend (34f) & I (27m) have been talking about moving in together. We've been dating for a little over a year now and our paths/goals are both in alignment.
She's owned her house for a little over 3 years & can't move for another few years. It's an insanely big house for her, even for 2 people. We've talked about how to split finances, but the issue I'm having is she makes 3.5x more than I do. We can't split things 50/50.
Instead of me paying towards the mortgage, we agreed upon utilities/etc. The electricity & gas fluctuate so much between winter and summer that it's freaking me out. In the winter electricity costs apparently go up 4.5x compared to summer. This house also has a pool, generator, hot tub, which contributes to costs that I never thought I'd be paying for. If we split things percentage wise, I can't figure out a fair split, because of the large differences in income. I'd prefer to have some disposable income after adding to my savings.
I make about $75k for reference, so things aren't bad financially. I just don't know how to go about splitting things fairly, but also not feeling like I'm mooching off of her.

I'm not running with any players thus far -- just simulating imaginary scenarios in my head.
I am unsure which of the two to create first. I can see scenarios playing out where the players sliiightly overinvest in the concepts of their characters, making the latter creation part feel a little unfocused or 'boxed in' if concepts clash too hard.
Is this answered in the text?
Or do you think the smartest decision might be to candidly leave it up to the players and the GM to decide, collaboratively, what to begin with?

I’m at a loss. Is this common in relationships? We hit it off really well at the start and dated for about 5 months. Everything was seemingly perfect. She came across as smart, considerate, sweet. She’s a babysitter to these two sweet kids that I met along the process and grew to love as I would come over the house and cook and play games with them. During that time this woman introduced me to her entire family, best friends, we spent holidays together. She says I was the first to have ever been introduced to her family.
She is from Kenya as well, so I understand that meeting family is a big deal. Everything was going seemingly well, with her texting “I love you” every single day, writing me letters, flowers, with her even mentioning marriage & kids first. I always made sure to return her energy - followed her lead every step of the way. Was so emotionally (and even financially) invested. Even got an apartment in her city to be closer.
She is a full time student with 2 years left of studies, and I was also busy traveling a lot. I did notice she was busy at points and always told her I completely understood. I noticed she seemed more tired and not as present, and she sensed I knew something felt off. But I told her I understood she was probably overwhelmed and didn’t need to worry. Then the very next day she calls me saying she “doesn’t think she’s capable of loving me the same” and that “she can’t give me the love that I deserve”.
Then proceeds to say “I really liked you but I don’t think I was ever in love with you. I know it’s fucked up and it’s nothing you did or could’ve done. I’m extremely confused myself and honestly will need some deep soul searching.”
I was at a loss, and asked if she was sure about this and if I would need to move on, but she was crying and bawling her eyes out so much saying she “had no idea” and “couldn’t give me an answer right now”
Obviously I questioned her on everything and asked if the dates and moments we experienced were ever real to her. She then says “the moments were great but we experienced them on different levels.”
How am I supposed to interpret this?
I felt stuck waiting to hear her answer and tried to allow her space to “reflect” but wasn’t sure on how to proceed. I kept thinking “Should I wait to hear this answer or leave? Do women do this often? Why go so far to deceive me if she truly never meant it? Unless it’s just a phase that I’m unaware of…
Things did heat up fast I would say. But I felt pushed further because she would suddenly say things like “I see you being the father of my children” and then also writing these really romantic letters saying how much she loved me and how special of a love that I gave, etc. She would sometimes send videos of people growing old together saying that this was us.
Although, I do think immaturity is a big part of it actually, that makes sense. I returned her energy because although it was a lot, I felt I had really strong feelings for her and realized how much I wanted to be with her - so even if it was soon, I wasn’t opposed to the ideas at all.
As for how I was financially invested, was because we were kind of long distance in a way and I had to pay to travel to see her. I was pushed to get the apartment because her best friend was having suicidal thoughts and she said she really needed me there more than ever. She pushed me to make that move and really directed me to doing so about 3 months into our relationship.
As of yesterday she decided to block me on everything. It was strange because we decided to kind of leave space but I couldn’t sense how she was feeling throughout it (no texts or communication). We had planned a trip together while we were dating that was still upcoming and she had a final come up and wasn’t able to make it. I decided to still go on my own even though it was originally supposed to be for us together.
I didn’t know whether to continue to leave her space so when I came to town and didn’t tell her, there was this anger from her in me not telling her, which was strange because she insisted on leaving space. I just started noticing that her requests and expectations would sometimes be vague or very confusing.
She told all of her friends (that I met through her) about the breakup and the friends all called me directly to check on how I was holding up - but later she got mad at this saying I crossed the boundary by getting her friends involved - when she was the one that told them we broke up.
Her final message was that I couldn’t respect her boundaries with her friends, and her space, and that she “never looked at me the same ever since I accused her of deceiving me or using me for my emotional and financial investment” and she didn’t even allow me an opportunity to talk in my own defense. Which to me was strange out of all the times I listened to her side of things after she basically said to me she never loved me.
So now she’s completely cut contact and I’m totally at a loss. I’m pretty much guessing her friends might be also thinking this is weird behavior. I’m not sure what to make of this… what am I supposed to do now?
TL;DR Me (23M) and my girlfriend (22F) had a seemingly amazing relationship and then she suddenly pulled away crying and confused. Then the tears slowly turned to feeling sad for hurting me to somehow resentment (me being the bad guy) and she had a complete sudden change of heart.

TL,DR My mother was likely a closeted LGBTQ person her whole life. After I came out to all my family and friends, an old friend contacted me to tell me of a fling her mom and my mom had. It's a side of her I never knew about and gives me new perspective and empathy for her.
Full story: My mother died almost 5 years ago. My dad died about 20 years before that while I was just a teenager. They were both TBM but were both wonderful people and I miss them every day. I believe they were just products of the indoctrination and brainwashing of the Mormon church.
My family growing up was me, my younger brother, Mom, and Dad. Just 4 of us. Mom became very good friends with another woman (I'll call her Sharon) in the ward and soon their family and our family were all good friends. Their family was huge. 7 girls 1 boy ranging from early 20s to toddler. Almost just like the Nickelodeon show The Loud House, lol.
Our families did all kinds of stuff together. We were always over at their house having dinner or just hanging out. Trampoline sleepovers. Camping trips. We even went skiing with them 2 or 3 times. Then one day it all just stopped very suddenly, and our parents told us we were not going to be doing activities together any more. Us kids had no clue what happened and it killed us to know we were done hanging out. What happened? We saw each other at church but it just was never the same again.
When my wife and I left the church over a year ago it didn't take long for me to come out of the closet. My coming out story has been shared here before, but just a quick recap: I always knew I was attracted to boys starting in my teen years but I didn't know what it meant other than it made me embarrassed and ashamed to admit it to anyone. I was raised so sheltered that I barely had any concept of gay relationships. Seminary and the new Family Proclamation made my internal homophobia even worse. I was straight! I had to be! It's the only option in the Mormon church and I was a good Mormon boy, right? After my mission I struggled dating women. I was terrible at it and it felt so forced, and again I couldn't figure out why. But I met a tomboy girl in a college singles ward who I became friends with very fast and my family was so excited to see me with a girl, especially my mom, that we got pressured into engagement very quickly. Amazingly our marriage has endured and we've been together for 17 years now with 4 kids. My wife has been super supportive of me coming out and suspected my orientation for a long time. For now we are still co-parenting in the same home and separated by bedrooms to allow each other our own autonomy and privacy. We are ethical non-monogamous now and are free to date people if we wish. Our financial situation makes it difficult to seperate right now, but we are ok with staying together for now. We are, after all, still each other's best friend. Don't get me wrong, it was VERY rocky after I came out and it looked grim at times, but we're working though it. Counseling is helping too. She herself has come out as non-binary, still good with she/her pronouns and uses a gender neutral nickname when we hang out with LGBTQ friends. Even some of our kids are LGBTQ now.
Right after I made my big coming out announcement online to everyone I know, I (mostly) got lots of support and contacts from family and friends. Then I got a PM from someone I hadn't seen or heard from in decades. It was one of the kids from Sharon's family (I'll call her Megan). She called to let me know she supported me, letting me know she herself had come out as lesbian. Then Megan told me of a story that absolutely shocked me. Her mother Sharon told her when she came out and now she wanted to tell me.
Sharon and my mom were more than just good friends. They had romantic feelings for each other. One day one of them made a move (I was not told who made the first move and I'm not sure Megan knew either) and they made out. Then one of them hit the brakes and said we can't do this; this will destroy both our families. Realizing that they could not set aside the feelings they had for each other, the only solution they could come up with was to never see each other again, which meant the whole of both families unfortunately.
I was so floored upon hearing this news. I never knew! I thanked Megan for telling me and called my brother. I told him the whole thing. His response was equally surprising. "Well now I recall a memory that makes a whole lot more sense." he said. "I remember a night where mom and dad were fighting in the next room and the shouting woke me up. I remember lots of swear words" (which shocks me because I never heard my parents swear) "and then I heard Dad say 'well why don't you just go run off with Sharon then'. Now I know what that was all about." We were both just shocked. A piece of Mom's life we never knew.
So much more about her life makes sense now too. She was very "tom boy"ish. Not that that automatically makes someone queer but it can be a common trait. After Dad died she never remarried. There were even a couple of times where she deliberately rebuffed a couple of men. She had absolutely no interest in remarrying.
So now I just feel so much empathy for my mom. Megan told me how she went to go visit with my mom and tell her that she knew about her feelings for her own mom. My mom vehemently denied the whole thing, which just makes me so sad really. I never got the opportunity to come out to my mom. Would my coming out have given her the courage to admit her feelings? I don't know.
It frustrates me that as long as the church keeps cis-hetero marriage a literal required ordinance for access to the highest heaven, all queer members of the church will be forced to live with an outrageous amount of cognitive dissonance for their own feelings. It perpetuates internalized homophobia, self loathing, confusion about one's own gender and orientation, suicidal ideation, and on and on. The church can claim all they want that they love LGBTQ people, but until that marriage doctrine changes there will still continue to be untold damage done to queer members.

link to interview article

q. freshly debuted in 2019, you did a photoshoot with magazine. you were 18 at that time, right? you answered “i can’t sleep without plushies” for a question.
🐧 i’m not like that now (laughs). after that moment, i receive an overwhelming amount of dolls as gifts, but lately i think, “isn’t it time to say goodbye…?” (to the dolls)

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q. do you remember when you answered “i’m a mass/lump of charm” when asked to ?
🐧 wow, i said that. oh well. i am, a lump of charm (laughs)
q. haha. we’ll give you another chance to answer that question. (yourself in one word)
🐧 “a person you can trust”, “a person you’d give your trust to”. 📷 to be honest, (to become) these are my goal. i’m the youngest in our team, but i want to be someone who they can trust.

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q. in the interview at that time (2019), you said your goal was ROTY. it’s been 4 years since then and this january you released a mini album which achieved a career high with initial sales of 2.18M copies.
🐧 actually, i still can’t believe this is real. this was an album i worried about the most. this was the first time i didn’t feel sure (of the album). the title track ‘sugar rush ride’ tells the story of a boy who fell into a deadly temptation. when i first heard from the company that the song will have a “refreshing-sexy” mood, i really liked it. because i really liked a refreshing concept. but then after hearing the song, the refreshing, fresh concept was only 5% and the sexy concept takes up 95%. (laughs) and the stage costumes were also really on the bolder side, i was worried if the fans wouldn’t like it. but as expected, my feelings were wrong. i learnt something from this promotions, that you shouldn’t trust my feelings. (laughs)

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q. personally, when i saw you expertly devouring the stage, i thought, “this must have been a concept he’s wanted to do for a long time.”
🐧that’s because even if i had my own worries, i have to perform on stage professionally. i had to do my best (for every performance). we just recently spent our 4th year anniversary, and now it feels like any form of sloppiness (on stage) is gone. if we find something that’s lacking or needs fixing while monitoring our first stage, we’ll surely have it fixed by the time we do our second stage. be it expressions or gestures. to be honest, i couldn’t really see what i’ve been lacking in until recently. for our debut song , i only remember smiling a lot on stage while performing. thinking about it now, it would’ve been nicer if i performed it a bit more seriously on the first half of the song then progressively smiled for the second half of the song, following the story of the song. if i perform that song now, i’m sure there will be a difference.

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q. you use a lot of facial expressions on stage. i get the feeling that you must understand the song to a certain extent to be able to express the mood well. how do you approach that when you first got the song?
🐧 i think it’s because my mbti is istp, which has a lot of interest in causality and objectivity principles. i’m also the type to do a thorough research on the internet when i prepare things alone and feel stuck. in the case of ‘sugar rush ride’, the big story of it is about how growth becoming an adult is being promised/vowed, but with temptation right in front of their eyes, they keep on wanting to be a young child. it’s like the children’s tale ’s narrative. that is why before this promotion period starts, i looked through and other various cruel fairytales. reading cruel fairytales helped me approach the concept in a new light because it is different from the childhood tales i used to know.

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q. is there anything that made you go “ah i can also get inspiration from this!”?
🐧 the expression of when a puma preys on a sloth? (laughs) last year during GBGB promotions i watched a lot of documentaries about pumas. i worried a lot about what expressions i should make on stage as it (GBGB) was a song full of the anger of someone who was hurt by their first love, of loss as well. my dorm roommate taehyun told me to go watch puma documentaries so i got curious and watched it and i think i can say it became quite of help. (laughs)

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q. you did stages with a strong rock mood for , the title following the first three parts of which took a fresh approach with a lot of synth pop genre songs with ikily and loser=lover being the representative. as a musician, when/which promotion period made you most satisfied?
🐧 my favorite song is ‘0x1=lovesong’, track of released in 2021; i listened to it in the car on our way to today’s photoshoot location. it’s an energetic song based on pop rock, but i’ve always loved rock music and band sound ever since i was little. i could say this era was my turning point as my understanding of the song was high. your skills improve much more when you do things that you like rather than when you’re forced to do it. so at that time i got excited and i tried a lot of different gestures and vocal tones.

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q. you formed a band club back in middle school, right?
🐧 right. there was a pop song festival at school and for some reason i wanted to participate and perform in a band. but there was no band club at school. so one day i went to the teacher’s office. i sang in front of my english teacher and asked them to open a band club. the band members went around different classes and gathered students who knew how to play the instruments. friends at that time all liked ‘fifa online 3’ so we performed that game’s BGM in front of teachers. (laughs)
q. so did the band club win the trophy in the pop song festival?
🐧 unfortunately… (laughs). but the teachers took into consideration students who would practice better (with facilities) at school rather than outside of school. so the members gathered after school and used a classroom to practice our ensemble, we were pretty active like that. we also hung out during school vacations.
q. but why did you choose rock (of all band genres)? 🐧 i watched this film called when i was younger and it blossomed in me this dream of performing rock. it was a film about the main character being in a rock band camp and figuring out their hidden talents and then getting their first ever spotlight on stage. watching that makes me think “i also want to make a band like that of my own”. and for some reason, listening to rock makes me feel like my heart is beating faster. i am someone who believes that music has its own strength of moving people’s hearts, and rock music is exactly that.

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q. music must’ve been something natural for you since you were young, right? we heard that your father used to be active as a musician.
🐧 that’s right. but it’s not only my father, my family members from generation to generation have always loved music, as so i’ve heard. naturally i grew up learning the piano, drum, and guitar. the sight of singing songs in my father’s home when i was younger was also nothing unusual. sometimes when my father performs on stage, us three siblings would go in front of him and dance. maybe it’s because i’ve been up on stage since i was small, but now i don’t get as nervous when i’m on it. i get excited, yes, but i don’t get nervous.

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q. your little huening bahiyyih is also active in the group kep1er, right? being in the same area of work field, you two must’ve share some worries to each other?
🐧 that’s right. especially building up to your little sister huening bahiyyih’s debut. she came to me to ask questions like, “i don’t know which facial expressions i should do on stage,” or “it’s hard finding the camera.” at that moment, as an older brother and a senior, i helped her and gave her the advice she needed.
q. then you two (huening kai and hiyyih) must often meet at music shows.
🐧 we do often run into each other. and sometimes we film tiktok challenges together too. at times, hiyyih comes looking for me at the green room and starts nagging at me. “oppa, you should really give mom a call.” (laughs)

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q. the song you produced yourself in 2021, “dear sputnik”, made it into the album as a b-side. what kind of song is it?
🐧 it’s a little amateur, but since a while back i’ve been trying to produce songs on my iphone in an app called garage band. since i liked band music, i tried to work on songs that has that kind of mood and it (dear sputnik) turned out pretty good. i made a sketch of the song and sent it over to the company and luckily it became a b-side in the album. i actually made the song with the thought of “wanting to show/give the people a proper feeling of their hearts beating fast (as they listen to dear sputnik)” and with concerts kept in mind.

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q. what do you think is an important element in song making?
🐧 songs that are able to be enjoyed by many, songs that are able to bring happiness to people, songs that are able to move people’s hearts. these three are most important to me.
q. then is there a song that moved your heart as a listener?
🐧 demi lovato’s ‘this is me’. it’s the soundtrack of the movie . it’s the song that played during the climax of the movie, when the shy heroine performed in front of a large audience, showing their true self. there’s this lyric, “this is me”, “no more hiding who i want to be”. the lyrics spoke to me and stuck in my heart as if it was my own story. and because i have always been a very shy person ever since i was small, i have decided after listening to that song, that “i will show myself” (this is me).

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q. when we get the chance to see huening kai’s solo album/mixtape in the future, how do you want it to look like?
🐧 there was a time where i imagined myself in comfortable clothes singing a folk song while having a guitar on one hand. and while doing so, i’d like to deliver the messages i’ve always wanted to say to a lot of people. i’ll probably sing a song that brings hope. because i find joy in seeing everyone happy.

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q. starting from the end of march, you will go on a world tour around 13 cities, right? what does a world tour mean to a musician?
🐧 this is our second world tour following our first one that started last july. i’m sure it’s the same for all musicians but a world tour is something i’ve dreamed of and hoped to come true ever since i was a trainee. i still think our lollapalooza festival stage was one of the best moments from our tour in 2022. i was even able to perform with a band session that i’ve really wanted. the five members holding their hand mics, standing on stage, and at the same time the sun was beginning to set— wow… it was really an amazing moment. that moment i looked at the other members’ faces and we were all smiling. since we were all so happy. when i think of that moment now, i still feel amazed and overwhelmed.
q. will we see such a performance again in this tour?
🐧 of course. i can also say you can guarantee looking forward to it. we are currently preparing for our tour and everything including the stage production is going to be amazing. there’s probably going to be a song that you will see performed for the first time when you enter the audience seat and there’s probably a song that’ll make you think, “there’s a choreography for this song?!”

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q. what are three things that you must bring with during tour?
🐧 headset and earphones are a must. i have a strong tendency to stay indoors so during tours i mostly spend my time at the hotel. it’s like a rule to stay and rest in my room even if i go out for a little bit. because i can always look outside and observe from my windows (laughs). headsets are a must because i always need to listen to music in my hotel room. and also cleansing products (skincare). if i were to give one tmi, i originally use cleansing foams but recently i switched to using cleansing oils (laughs). it’s really good. and lastly… nintendo switch?

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q. up until now you’ve released , , and . if you were to name a chapter of your own based on the life of 22 year old huening kai, what would it be?
🐧 the beginning chapter. though we’ve reached our present carrier high with the release of in january, i honestly think starting from this moment, this is the real start. i have this certain determination. “we will strive and go up higher, we will show our everything, this is the beginning of tomorrow x together.”

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q. what is your life motto? (a word you believe in)
🐧 i spend my days with a smile and positivity with the thought, “let’s not be unhappy people.” that’s why my way of talking became like “oh, that’s good, though?” i believe that after that word exits my mouth, even if it takes some time, the result (of what i did) will always come back to me as something good.

Hi everyone. I'm a bit new to this sub, but I've been reading these posts a bit lately. Anyways, I need to vent about my possibly narcissistic parents. My mom is probably a 90% N-mom, but I think my dad is more of a so called "enabler". I might write a bit about my little sister (6yo) as well.
Trust me. I can't believe this is so hard to write. My mom's being all nice now, finally not yelling and not complaining. But I know exactly what she has done in the past. Even as close past as yesterday. Who knows if she's gonna get mad today as well.
I'm currently 17 years old trans guy (girl to guy, soon starting transferring when I legally can), and I'd like to ask you all for your opinions about these things I've been through. I guess I just need confirmation, proof, that they're abusing me. I'd also like to mention, that I keep a special journal (on my phone, with a double password) about all the bad things they've said/done to me for the last year or so, so I'll be picking the most horrific things from there.
Here are some things they've said and done: (* = What they did) ("" = What they said)

• Mom: "You will not decide your gender until you're 18 and out of this house."
  
• *Misgendering me on purpose repeatedly, and always playing it off as "accidents". (For example, calling me a girl even though I'm a guy. It can go as far as that one time, when my mom said msigendered me, then everyone, mostly my sis and youngest cousin, kept repeating what she said. When I confronted them, I was apparently "disrespectful" and "should go up into your room".)
  
• *Got yelled at by my mom for killing a spider. It went as far as trying to take my phone away from me. My dad defended her... And told ME to "back off". Wtf I thought I had someone to back ME up!
  
• *Mom tried to force me to wear a dress for a relative's party, and said otherwise I "would not be welcome". Surprisingly to her, I had informed the said relative about this, and he canceled her invite and I was highly welcomed wearing my suit.
  
• *I often get yelled at for my little sister's (6 yo) doings by my both parents (mostly mom). She can legit just yell to mom, that I did something even though I didn't, and they'd all get super mad at me. It's rare if I manage to convince them my sister's lying, actually, they don't believe her that much anymore.
  
• *Mom claimed really loud, that I'm "gonna move out tomorrow" just because I asked to speak about my stress about my upcoming exam. (literally any time I say anything "wrong" in their book/world view, in the slightest way, I always get these "YOU'RE GONNA MOVE OUT" things (threats I guess?).
  
• Mom: "You know, us heating your room is optional, and we'll also take the heater away."
  
• "Ungrateful brat" for not over-eating that one day. I'm already a bit chubby – and have always been, but I'm planning to start working out.
  
• *Mom called me a "freak" (whatever that means?) for researching sex reassignment surgeries prices and other stuff relating to them on my laptop.
  
• *Not directed to me.. But mom threatened my lil sis (6yo) with a dramatic "I'll never hug you unless you're sorry." and with "gosh, I hate brats!" and even legit WASHED HER MOUTH WITH SOAP!! A dish-freaking-soap for defending herself... Yeaaaah, don't ask me about mom's logic.
  
• Mom told me how she "unfortunately can't undo having me, but should've probably decided against having you", aka me, when she overheard me talking on Discord with my friends group (in my room upstairs, using headset), about my possible underlying issues with myself and self-h*m thoughts. (please don't worry about me. I'm currently on frequent visits at my school psychologist, without my parents knowing).
  
• Mom: "We don't get any money out of you anymore since you're 17, so you have no rights to demand anything" after I asked about our dogs' food (because it was running out). Later that day, she unprovokedly called me "Ms. Stupid" aka misgendering AND insulting my intelligence at the same time. Then, "you'll be out of the house soon!", though never kicked me out.
  
• *Mom called me "a psychopath" for playing online games, and naturally fighting and killing other players, but then she left me alone after that, since I just replied with a "what was that?". That happened when I was in an intense deathmatch on GTAV Online. Keep in mind, she's a gamer as well, but rarely goes into online modes due to her preferring story games.
  
• *I was laying on the floor with my dog in the livingroom, looking at my phone. Then my mom tried to repeatedly hit me with an RC car, one of those mid-90s ones (and let me just tell you. My god those are heavy!). She even tried to drive over my hands, so I picked it up, and turned it off at the switch, while telling her to "stop, that's not funny". She then accused me of "breaking" it, and threw it's controller a cross the room (ironic, isn't it? She ended up breaking it.). This time my dad actually defended ME, when she tried to steal my money from my room for "a new one". She also turned off the whole internet... But turned it back on in a few hours. She never even apologized for attempting to steal from me and nearly breaking my hand, and it's been half a year!
  
• *I went on a walk with my dogs and mom insisted on coming with me. I said fine, but notified her that "I'll be listening to music with my headphones, since I don't feel like talking". She was fine with it at first. Later on, she ran up to me, hit me in the face with a glove (it went so close to my eye... But I didn't get any injuries though). I asked "wtf?!", and she started ranting about me having my headphones on. Like, I told you already, mom, and you pushed yourself to tag along!
  
• Last new years (2022) events = Mom called me an "attention whore" one time. She was claiming that I always try to get all the attention to myself when we have visitors, even though I just come to greet them and ask about their day. She even called me "stupid trnny", "you're probably gay as well", "ugly", "fat" and finished with a bunch of minority-phobia stuff (such as racism, homophobia, transphobia, you name it). As I defended myself, she told me to KMS and how "it would be good for everybody in this household".
  
• *Mom once angrily/stubbornly said something along the lines of "you're probably gonna try and steal all the attention from your sister on her birthday party next month". I asked her like, what do you mean by that, and how so. I didn't get a clear reply.
  
• *One time my mom said this shit: "You're never gonna get accepted into military because you're... Trans."
  
• (⚠️TRIGGER WARNING!! Physical attack) *Not too long ago when I defended myself against mom's angry tantrums and insults, my both parents grabbed me by my arms and twisted them, mom squished my nose extremely hard and tried to twist my face. All the while they both were screaming at me inches away from my face. Then they threatened to call the cops on me, if I don't "behave right this instant", and also said that they would never get in trouble for that. I said that they wouldn't dare to do it, because I would not hesitate to use my hands to defend myself and also get help. Then mom said, "HAHAHA! Not true. I WILL make you hurt.". (Talk about traumatizing your own kid.) Later dad acted all apologetic and mom just was accusing me of it all.
  
• *Dad yelled at me, that "you can move out right now!!", while aggressively pointing at the door with an extremely angry face. I get this for asking about if I could do my school task later.
  
• *My parents love to complain about my online identity and the group I hang around with. They can't stand that were so close, unique and actually happy. I should propably mention, that my parents have legit no social life outside of relatives and neighbors. They also got kinda mad at me for "having a complicated name" on my online platforms, but they don't care anymore.
  
• *My sister and her friend (who is our neighbor) were joking loudly about me. Talking about me being "fat" and how I "probably take a big shit". It wasn't funny, it reminded me of all those years I've been bullied in school. I told them to stop with a "stop, that's not funny", and mom jumped up really quick to tell me to "don't talk like that! They're just kids.". I didn't even say anything bad, I normally defended myself. I told her to "teach them some manners then, why don't you?", and she went quiet.
  
• *My grandma (from dad's side) comments about everyone. Last time she said something about my weightloss (I don't really appreciate talking about it). I remember one time when I was a kid (around 7-11), she left me on the beach alone. I couldn't swim well, so I could've drowned or some creep could've snatched me. To this day, she blames me for it.
  
• *One time I tried to ask for help with my shitty feelings (I felt really sad that day), my mom screamed at me that "why do you need to ruin other people's lives with your bullshit?!"
  
• Mom's so called joke: "You'll just gonna beg for financial supports from the state, as you'll never get rich. Then followed with a "prove it ahahahaha oh wait you don't even have a workplace so you can't!".
  
• *They all treat my misophonia as if it's a joke. They always start smacking extra loud when I'm around, making me run around like a headless chicken proceeding to stuff my hands at my ears so hard my head hurts. They do this rarely, though.
  
• *About my sister: She's becoming a same type of person that our mom is. She intentionally annoys me, by my preventing me from walking (hugs my leg like a monkey, you get the idea), tries to hit me when she's angry, lies about me and doesn't understand the word no.
  
• One time I went downstairs to get some food (I haven't eaten for 12 hours at that point). My mom was intentionally blocking the doorway, refusing to get out of the way even when I asked politely. She then said in a sarcastic tone "what? Can't you fit?". I said uh no, you're only giving me like a small space to go from. Then she yelled up to everyone in the house that "this tr**ny is yelling again!". She just really like to bring up my gender identity and it's changes, doesn't she?
  
• *Mom talked shut behind my back. Literally. I was in the bathroom, and I overheard my mom talking with my sister. She said "isn't (my name) just such a shithead?". When I confronted them, they lied and tried telling me that i must've heard wrong. I in fact didn't.
  
• *My sister loves to call me an "old granny", because we have a 11 years age gap. Idk if I should cry or laugh, it's just so stupid. I mean, she's not even saying it in a full insult mode, just trying to annoy me by repeating it. And, even though she's basically misgendering me, she's too young to understand what I'm going through.
  
• *One time my parents got a concerned text from my teacher, she's worried about my anxiety and about me in general. My mom spammed me angry texts demanding an explanation, one of her questions were "behavior changed? How?! Or do I have to ask that from the teacher?!". I told her to go ahead and do it, she still got the same answer from my teacher as from me. Later, I found out mom was messaging to the teacher about my "aggressiveness" even though I'm not, and I simply explained to my teacher how my mom over exaggerates me defending myself.
  
• *My parents claim the neighbors kid is spoiled, Idk maybe he is. But I'm not sure, but this sure rings a bell on their insecurity and need to criticise others. Today my mom told me how in this phone game, Hayday, she had named one of her donkeys our neighbor's name. That's just embarrassing.
  
• *One time my dad ruined my shoe over a disagreement. I was stating a fact about something, and he refused to believe it. He had to get me new shoes, as my mom demanded him to do so.
  
• *A few weeks ago, our bathroom faucet had broken down. It had a lot of rust in it, and it had simply snapped off when I used it. My both parents were mad at me, refused to believe me (again) and dad even went as far as to threaten to charge me "at least 200€".He even blocked me on a family Whatsapp group, as ridiculous as that sounds. We eventually got someone to fix it, and no one ever apologized to me. And I wasn't charged anything in the end, btw.
  
• *Dad always speaks over others. A shitty trait, isn't it? Good thing I haven't inherited it.
  
• *One time my sister threatened to hit our younger dog. She got her IPad taken away for a week.
  
• *One day dad belittled the fact that I'll go to military and get in a high position in there. Idk why he said anything of what he said.
  
• Mom: "Mental problems don't exist until you get into an institution, that's how it used to work, so stop complaining.". She said this after I asking me what's wrong and me replying with "social anxiety".
  
• *My mom loves to slam doors. It always makes me jump so high. I wish I could stop doing that.
  

Thank you so much if you've read this far. It truly helped me to get my problems out.

Kansas: I (23M) have lived with my son (6M) since January after losing my place to live around September. Before this date his mother and I had a verbal agreement where while we worked the other would take care of him, meaning he saw both of us everyday. For the following year after his mother's death he stayed with me 100% of the time.
Currently now there are 3 adults in my home (Myself, my partner and my roomate).
If the background is not important, or seems to much to read after the 4th paragraph I have a section of possibly important details followed by my question.
Alright this has got some background to it. Preceeding the Mothers death (September 2021) the parties seeking legal visitation rights would see my son ~1 a month maybe on a good month and only by the mother. After said death the mothers adoptive family caused a huge fight between eachother and other friends and side of the family. After this the grandparents had seen my son maybe 2 times up until August. I don't feel mentally and developmentally it is in my child's best interest to have his grandmother or Aunt in his life due to the grandmother's addictions and waiving of rights to her own daughter, she ended up being adopted by her step father whom I have a good relationship with, or the aunts sour disposition towards me and overall hostile attitude.
I've had 0 contact with the grandparents since the Month after his mother's death. I however was in contact about monthly with his Aunt and allowed them to visit. I moved out of my apartment due to my lease expiring and I decided to not renew it in May. We had a place to stay for a period of time while I searched for a new place to live, I found a trailer in September and by November it was finally move in ready. We were still in the process of acquiring all the furniture, beds and amenities and painting the trailer until early December, so the trailer was totally wrecked during that time. After I found out we had to leave in September I asked if the Aunt would be okay with Nikolai staying with them until I found a home and it was move in ready for Nikolai to which they hastily agreed.
I was choosing to keep my son out of school until I had a stable house and he had a guaranteed school. During his time with his Aunt and uncle however enrolled him in a school outside of the city he would be living at. I was upset about this, but I figured it was good for him to be interacting with more kids. That was until January when it was brought to my attention by some friends and family that they were making a plan to frame me an Unfit parent to take care of my son. I had been asking unsucessfully for months for my son's birth certificate and medical records which were taken by his grandparents after the mothers death. I was however able to get him transfered schools and starting school within 4 days of hearing the news.
Since I've taken my son back home we've received multiple unknown and unwanted visits at our home by said Aunt in attempts to have my son for weekends. I however am not okay with this however and don't feel comfortable with the nearly hour long drive if some emergency were to pop up. We've also received a few trips from CPS based on calls they've received. I'm not definitively saying they're the ones who did it, but I do have someone who was present when they said they would call CPS as many times as it takes to get my son taken from me that would attest to the same thing. The fact this family would go behind my back in attempts to gain custody of my son when the parties involved either never had kids, or gave up rights to their own kids and were not involved in their lived until the kids were much older has gotten my blood boiling.
POSSIBLY IMPORTANT DETAILS:

• During the time between losing my place to live and acquiring my new place was not due to financial trouble, but due to lack of availability however I did spend ~3 weeks living out of my car
  
• I'm financially stable and have been at my job for 3 ½ years
  
• After the funeral the grandparents caused a scene about wanting the prescribed drugs (Oxcycodone) that was in my sons mother's possessions, she had then prescribed due to her wisdom teeth being removed. This event led to her brother bringing a gun with him and saying "She's[grandmother] a pill popper and there is no way I'm letting her have those"
  
• The Aunt banned the two closest people to my sons mother, people who he'd been around for years, from seeing him without my knowledge which had greatly upset my son. The reasoning summed up was "I don't like their attitude towards me"
  
• My son was constantly sick and had been to the doctors office 3 times without a word from the Aunt about it to me.
  
• I was not informed of the rules and ideologies the Aunt was trying to enforce on my son, ones that conflicted with both his mothers and my own ways that we had been raising him
  
• The mother biological side of the family (the ones I've had trouble with) have tried to say I am an irresponsible gun owner despite the fact all my guns are kept locked up and hidden from my son.
  
• I have a clean record apart from a citation for an expired tag on my car
  
• I rarely drink, around once every six months if that, and I don't use and drugs, not even Marijuana despite its growing legality across the states.
  

-They had a lawyer mail me essentially a threat of taking me to court over Third party visitation for the Aunt and Grandmother with them asking for him from Friday after school until Sunday nights around 6pm, to possibly be discussed unless responded to my March 3rd. This was dated Febuary 22nd, today March 22nd is my first time seeing said letter.

• Since moving back in with me my son hasn't once asked to see his grandparents or even mentioned their names, and whenever mentioning the Aunt it's always accompied with him talking about some expensive toy or gadget she bought him.

-During one CPS visit while talking with the social worker we explained the issue happening with the mothers biological side of the family along with a few notes mentioned above. Upon hearing this she looked concerned and had stated she didn't feel having that influence in his life would be healthy for him emotionally or developmentally.
I do believe that is everything pertinent to the situation.
Now my question: If I don't see the grandparents or Aunts relationship to my son as beneficial in any way will I still be legally required to let them see my son? If not required to, what options do I have to cease all contact with them and have them forced to stop showing up unannounced at my door?
If anything needs to be elaborated on I will gladly answer to the best of my ability!

The MCAT is a standardized, multiple-choice, computer-based test administered by the AAMC (Association of American Medical Colleges). This test serves as a standardized measure that allows medical schools to compare their applicants to each other objectively. The MCAT encompasses subjects and topics that the AAMC considers valuable and representative of success for those interested in pursuing a career as a physician.
The test is divided into four sections, with each section covering different content and subjects. These four sections are:
-Chemical and Physical Foundations of Biological Systems
-Critical Analysis and Reasoning Skills
-Biological and Biochemical Foundations of Living Systems
-Psychological, Social, and Biological Foundations of Behavior
The test has two main question types: passage-based and discrete-style questions. For the passage-based questions, you will read a portion of text and then answer questions corresponding to either the content of the passage, your personal understanding of the concepts discussed, or a combination of both. Discrete questions are standalone questions that ask a single question with no external context from a corresponding passage.
Besides the “Critical Analysis and Reasoning Skills” section, each section has 59 total questions, with 44 passage-based and 15 discrete questions. You’re given a 95-minute time limit per section, but you may move on to the next portion of the test if you finish the current section before the 95-minute limit. The “Critical Analysis and Reasoning Skills” section consists of 53 passage-based questions with a 90-minute time limit. In between the “first and second” and “third and fourth” sections, you are offered an optional 15-minute break. In between the second and third sections, you are offered a 30-minute break.
​
How Often is the MCAT Administered?
Like many other standardized tests in the United States, the AAMC offers the MCAT multiple times a year through January and September to give potential test-takers flexibility in when they decide to study for and take the test.
Additionally, there are many testing centers nationwide where the test can be taken. If you would like to find a testing center near you, click HERE.
https://wsr2.pearsonvue.com/testtakeregistration/SelectTestCenterProximity/AAMC?conversationId=1718294
​
How Important is the MCAT?
The MCAT is required to apply to medical school and thus is essential in any medical school application as it serves as the only genuinely objective metric to medical school admission committees. Additionally, it allows potential applicants to judge which schools will be a good fit for them, as the average MCAT for any medical school’s current class is available on their website.
However, the MCAT is not the only part of the application, and thus an amazing MCAT score can’t hold up an application that severely lacks in other areas. Conversely, if an applicant has a weak MCAT score, if the remainder of the application is good, they still have a real chance of being accepted to medical school.
​
When Should I Take the MCAT
While there is no one correct answer for when you should take the MCAT, you should never take the MCAT until you feel fully prepared and ready. Studying for the MCAT is a difficult and time-consuming process. The vast amount of information you will be expected to know may take many weeks to months to master. Additionally, It costs $320 to take the MCAT; consequently, there’s a financial incentive to do well to avoid having to pay for the test again. Finally, medical schools can access your previous MCAT attempts when you apply, with one poor score potentially harming your overall chances of acceptance. All of these factors demand that the test be respected, and anything less than a full-hearted attempt to learn the material and leave nothing to chance is simply a waste of your time, money, and opportunity to be accepted to medical school.
In terms of when you should actually take the test during the year, you should be aware that it takes about a month for you to get your scores back after taking the test. Thus, you should take the MCAT at least a month before you plan to apply. Specifically, many suggest that you take the MCAT a few months before you plan to apply, such that you have time to get your scores back and retake the MCAT without having to push your application back a year if that’s what is needed.
However, everyone will have responsibilities outside of the MCAT that must be balanced. Thus, the answer of when you should take the MCAT will differ for everyone, but to be on the safe side, if you plan to apply in June, take the MCAT in late April or earlier.
​
How Should I Prepare for the MCAT?
The most challenging thing about the MCAT is the breadth of knowledge required for a competitive score. Due to the wide variety of tested content, the most effective way to comprehend the various topics is to take courses on those subjects through your university. For instance, taking a few intro biology and chemistry courses in college will serve as an excellent base for your understanding and significantly decrease the time required to develop mastery of the subjects for the MCAT. Due to the content tested on the MCAT, I would highly recommend taking courses in the following areas before starting your prep, if possible:
-biology
-physics
-psychology
-sociology
-general and organic chemistry
-biochemistry
While you don't need to take all these courses before taking the MCAT, the more you take, the easier your studying process will be. Personally, I hadn’t taken sociology or second-semester physics when I took the MCAT, and consequently, I spent a large portion of my time simply learning that material, compared to reviewing material that I had previously learned from my biology and chemistry courses.
If you can’t take one or more of these courses, I recommend skipping psychology or sociology. The other subjects require an understanding of complex and intricate processes that you will be expected to know for the MCAT. Conversely, the psychology and sociology on the MCAT are definition based. Thus, teaching yourself the definitions of psychology topics would be easier than teaching yourself organic chemistry or physics.
​
How Long Should You Study for the MCAT?
This question varies for everyone, but ultimately you should give yourself enough time to be fully prepared. There are a few typical paths that most test takers follow, and I suggest you choose one, depending on your unique situation.

1. A three-month block in which you are entirely committed to studying for the MCAT. During this schedule, you should be reviewing 6-8 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. This method will allow for the fastest preparation for the MCAT as you’re entirely devoted to the MCAT goal, but it also has significant downsides. You will need three months of uninterrupted time, which is difficult for many people to schedule. This schedule would be perfect for test takers who plan to devote their whole summer to the MCAT, but that isn’t realistic for many people. However, for those that can arrange this study schedule, I would highly recommend it.
2. A five-month schedule in which you study 5-10 hours a week for three months and then increase your studying to 10-15 hours in the final 4-6 weeks. This schedule will allow greater flexibility in maintaining a job or going to school during your studying. If you choose this method, spend the first three months primarily reviewing content to ensure you have all the definitions down. Once you feel confident in the content, begin slowly transitioning into more passage-based questions and practice tests closer to your test date, as these will help familiarize you with the test and the question style utilized on the MCAT.
3. A full-year schedule in which you spend about 5 hours a week slowly reviewing everything for the MCAT, with a dedicated 2-4 week focused practice period before the test date to ensure mastery over all the relevant subjects. This schedule is ideal for individuals who already have a lot of commitments and thus can’t devote as much time over a short duration to the MCAT as others. This system can work for anyone, but you must keep refreshing yourself on the concepts you have already focused on, as your mastery won’t stick in your memory for months without proper review.

​
How is the MCAT Scored?
The MCAT is divided into four sections, each graded separately on a percentile-based system between 118 and 132. A section grade of 125 is 50th percentile, with anything higher being above average and anything lower being below average. Consequently, your overall MCAT score can range from 472 (0th percentile) to 528 (100th percentile).
​
What Score Do You Need on the MCAT?
There is no one answer to this question, and with most things in life, it depends. Obviously, you should do your best, but if you want a concrete number to aim for, you should look at the average MCAT for your target medical school and aim to get that score or better. Aiming to beat the average student at your target medical school will set you on a path to success. According to the AAMC, the average MCAT score for a matriculant in medical school is 511. Thus, receiving an MCAT score of 511 or higher indicates a greater statistical chance of being accepted to medical school.
​
What if You Don’t Score Well?
Receiving a poor score on the MCAT can be mentally devastating, but it's not the end of the road. Like many other standardized tests, you can take the MCAT multiple times:
-3 times in one calendar year
-4 times in two calendar years
-7 times in your life
So, even if you don’t do well the first time(s), it doesn’t mean you can’t try again and improve your score. If you are serious about improving your score, you need to be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself the following questions:
-Was I thoroughly prepared for that test?
-Did I give it my all to master all the concepts on the test?
-Did my performance on the test match my performance during my studying?
-Was that score the best I could ever hope to achieve?
If you said “No” to any of those questions, you should try again and ensure you correct your errors from your initial test. Whether you were generally unprepared, had test anxiety, or some other issue preventing you from reaching your goal, identify why you didn’t meet your expectation, and work as hard as possible to correct that deficit and come back stronger. While medical schools can see your previous attempts, if you can demonstrate an upward trend with your scores, they will look favorably on that and may disregard your previous sub-optimal results.
​
Actionable Advice
The MCAT is a standardized, multiple-choice test required for acceptance into medical school. It is offered many times a year in many locations. The biggest advice is to only take the test when you feel completely prepared. Develop a reasonable plan for studying the MCAT and stick to it. Do as many practice problems as you can. Studying for the MCAT is an involved process, but by organizing your time and preparing yourself effectively, you will set yourself up for success.
“Thank you for your time and attention, good luck and Godspeed.”
​
If you liked this post, please consider checking out the rest of my articles on PracticalPremeds.com
Thank You

I’m two days out from my wedding. I have planned it with my partner but I have been the coordinator 100%. We received a kind gift of $5k from family, then the rest was save up from my partner and I. We are almost up to $20k (and that’s with friends doing things at lower ‘mates rates’ for us too). It’s well above our initial budget but we are happy with the decisions we’ve made and know it’ll all be amazing / worth it!
Wedding is 30 people ceremony, then to a bar we’ve booked out where another 60 guests will be arriving for an after party of sorts.
I’m very excited for the wedding / love my partner so much ! But the build up has been nothing but hard. Why?
1) Financially: My partner doesn’t earn a lot (he’s half way his apprenticeship so that will change soon) so currently this means that I earn three times as much as him so I offered to take the reigns of finances and cover a lot of costs myself. All up I’d say I contributed personally 60% of the wedding costs, our family 25% and my partner 15%. This has meant SO much saving (we’ve had a 5 month engagement) and I’ve worked it all out myself and set up the savings accounts etc. My partner is grateful but it’s been a hard slog doing it mostly on my own.
2) Vendors lack of communication: I have got great people to work with on the wedding, all amazingly talented creatures (photographer, videographers, makeup artist who doubles as ridiculously accomplished nail artist), numerous DJ, award winning chef making our food etc) and I’m missing others! But the back and forth and the confirming and the changing of things and the follow up that is ALWAYS me doing the follow up - it’s definitely taken it’s toll as a a type A, organised person. You really have to manage your expectations when working with creatives in the event industry.
3) Stress leading to poor Heath: My psychiatrist (who I see for my ADHD) ended up prescribing the the strongest sleeping pills I’ve ever used just to get me to sleep at night because I will lie there all night just thinking about wedding stuff I’m yet to do and end up sleeping two hours a night. That’s even after my partner has taken my phone and hid it - I’m just lying in my bed for hours thinking about wedding stuff. My eye bags are darker and I lost three kilos at the worst height of it (in January).
4) Carrying the mental load: I love my sweet partner, but he and I both understand that I am carrying 95% of the wedding mental load myself, and I do resent him for it. We’ve spoken many many times, me pleading for him to show initiative and it doesn’t improve. He has just been diagnosed with ADHD, so I think it comes down to executive dysfunction but the eventual medication coming his way post wedding will not help me right now. He helps in many other ways so I can focus on wedding stuff (cooks, does grocery shopping, cleans) but I still do those things too so it’s just a lot.
Everyone asks “how was the planning” or “are you getting it all together?” etc and I just want to honestly say “it’s been really, really hard, and has stressed me out probably the most I’ve ever been.” But I can’t haha! Especially on my wedding day when guests will ask how I’ve been, have I been busy etc. Like duh. I’ve been working full time and probably an extra 12-18 hours a week on top has been related to wedding prep stuff. I can’t think about anything else and it’s impacted my health as a result!
What is a more controlled and light answer where I don’t come off like a grumpy bitch at my own wedding?

Posting because this situation is fresh and it’s always useful to read the perspective of others. I have tough decisions to make right now.
I’ve been with my partner for 2 years now, so the relationship is not hugely long term but has always been very serious (seemingly).
When I first got together with her, I knew she had broken up fairly recently with her ex. Obviously not ideal, but was always reassured that it wasn’t a problem. A few months later I found out that she had gone for a coffee with him, I was obviously upset but she begged for my forgiveness that it was just a coffee, their families still knew eachother and they had to sort out a few unresolved issues that they had (he actually owed her a large sum of money at the time). I forgave her and we moved past this.
A few months went past and she randomly decided she needed to go back to her home country for 2 months (in Latin America, we both live in the UK). I understood because she hadn’t been in 8 years and most of her family live there, but the timing was so random as she booked the plane ticket literally on the same day to leave that same week. She even quit her job because they wouldn’t give her time off for this.
After she left things were normal, we were in contact everyday and everything was fine. After a couple of weeks she started acting strange, not answering the phone etc. I became concerned and starting becoming annoyed, she overreacted to this like crazy and called me toxic, controlling etc. Her reaction didn’t really make any sense to me at the time, after a few days of arguments she blocked my number and removed me from social media. After a week I heard nothing from her, then she contacted me and we argued and she blocked me again. I did some investigation and found out that the ex was potentially in the country also on holiday, and even in the same town as her which is a huge coincidence. I didn’t have any direct proof, but someone who kinda knew him told me for sure his family were there and he might be also but they weren’t 100% sure.
When I next heard from her, i straight up accused her of being with him there and she told me I was crazy, toxic and needed help etc. i even started to believe that I was. When she returned from her trip, she turned up at my house crying saying she’s sorry but there was family stuff going on and I was being too much to deal with etc so she had to block me. Didn’t really make sense to also remove my social media, but I had no proof of wrongdoing so I eventually accepted her story as fact.
2 months later she is pregnant with my child, everything is great and we move forward with our relationship. Recently our first child was born, we were both so happy and ready to start our family life together. A few days ago she left her phone in a different room by mistake because she fell asleep, her phone literally never leaves her hand. I don’t know why but I decided to look on it, I found multiple text messages with family members and friends from the past year (some recent, some not so recent). She is bragging to her friends about sleeping with her ex during her trip, and how it was all pre planned for them to meet up together. She’s even joking that her ex might think it’s his child, and she’s saying that she’s angry with him because once their trip ended he blocked her number and went back to his girlfriend. Basically he just used her. It turns out her friends, family etc knew about it.
I supported her financially for the past year and a quarter, looked after her family and did the best I could as a partner. When I confronted her and told her we couldn’t be together anymore, she told me to get over it and if we don’t stay together she will make it difficult for me to see my child.
This is a very bad situation, I don’t ever want to be near her again but I want to be with my child and for them to grow up close to their father.