Bus yards near me
The writings and ramblings of a shoe full of milk
2020.07.23 04:02 shoemilk The writings and ramblings of a shoe full of milk
I feel like it's 2001 again and I'm making a myspace page...
2012.11.27 06:41 TANK23415 Good Guy Turtle
The Official Subreddit for the Good Guy Turtle Meme!
2023.03.22 16:40 rescuemomma28 My story & experience. 12 years off & on Suboxone
I am 35 year old female in NC, I started using prescription opiates when I was 17. I used opioids for 7 years, a methadone clinic for 2 years and I started seeing a doctor for Suboxone in 2011. I was prescribed Suboxone from 2011-2017, I had tapered all the way down to .50 mg a day. My doctor was not going to prescribe me it anymore, it was either go to a medical detox center or nothing. My husband was also seeing a doctor for Suboxone, for pain management (He still is taking it to this day). Instead of me going to detox, he started sharing his medication with me.
This has been one of the biggest regrets of my life ever since!
I have been taking 8mg of Suboxone almost daily since 2017. I was injured with a traumatic brain injury at work 12/2021, I fell out of the back of my parked school bus landing on my head in a parking lot. Currently I am still out on worker’s compensation.
I have been researching getting my own Suboxone prescription again, Monday I made the call to get an appointment. I had my first appointment yesterday (Tuesday), and was prescribed 12 mg daily (1/2 strip 3 times a day). My goal is to get the Sublocade shot eventually. This medicine saved my life, but I feel it has been a crutch for years now. I know it’s my own fault I got down to such a low dose and started taking more. I hate myself that I’ve been dependent on my husbands medication for myself, it’s selfish & I want to kick myself anytime I think about it. We have a 13 year old daughter, and she has never known me without being medicated. I don’t remember who I am without being medicated, I’ve not gone more than a 5-7 days without subs in 12 years. My whole adult life has been medicated! I know that’s going to take a long time to undo, and I’m ready for it. I want to finish my bachelor’s degree & become a certified teacher, instead of just a teacher assistant (what I am when I was working). Thank you for reading this novel. Has anyone been almost off of subs & pretty much restarted the process?
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2023.03.22 16:39 WeekSoggy9888 Sign's someone has jinxed you.
Hi, I had a bad fall in December which caused me to have a head injury and hurt my spine. A couple of days ago I had a fall and nearly landed on my forehead again but I broke my fall with my arm, i am still finding bruises on my body from that fall. And today I nearly slipped and fell again and felt the pain in the my spine.
Has anyone been through something like this and what have they done to protect themselves?
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2023.03.22 16:39 FaithlessnessTotal43 Looking for a Fart meet up with Any gender-near/ from Liverpool MSG me if interested
im a guy(18) who is looking for anyone of any gender from/near liverpool in the UK who would be interested in meeting up for a fart session where id be down to try any other kinks aswell if we fart together if anyone is interested DM me
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2023.03.22 16:38 infinitelyred Missing the idea of a person
For a long time I’ve always missed the idea of people more than I’ve missed the actual person.
For instance my most recent ex just broke up a month ago and I haven’t really shed a tear only cried about 3 times about it understandable enough he lived with me for 8 months.
He finally contacts me ( after one month ) after literally I come home one day and he’s just gone no trace of him. I knew he got on a plane though. He contacts me to give me the whole song dance and show where he misses me so much and wants to fly back and how the last time we saw each other was burned into his eyes blah blah blah I love you blah blah and I fell for it after exchanging my feelings in words which where all very sweet and reciprocated to his.
The next day he was cold and unresponsive I told him I had a way for him to come back but it didn’t have to be immediate. He made the excuse that he wants to pay for it himself and that he applied at McDonald’s … after telling me he’s had a much better job offer since the second day he left? I said well like I said it doesn’t have to be immediate I noticed he was being off so I say “ tell me something I don’t wanna hear “ so he’d speak his mind
He sent me lyrics to a song that basically go like love his hell I’d rather suffer than be with you blah blah blah and he started posting things like “ when they say they miss you they mean they miss walking all over you “ and being flat out dramatic with no indication of why
This was a big issue in our relationship I always did everything for him place to stay did his laundry cooked his dinner the whole nine yards but I always hated how dramatic he was he would always find an issue or always be overwhelmed by little life shit that people who fucking live deal with
Seeing this made me not regret him leaving and my part in the relationship ending but now that he’s cut all contact again I’m starting to think I miss him but I know it’s not true so I thought I’d write about it on here
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2023.03.22 16:37 SleeplessFromSundown My Stint as a Fire Lookout - I Try to Escape
I pulled the other radio from my backpack. I called the Station. They answered immediately. It was Hitch, the Ranger who led me up the first day.
“I have an emergency,” I said.
“Is there a fire?” Hitch asked.
“No. Martina, from Lookout 1, something attacked her.”
“Where is she now?”
“It took her into the forest.”
“Is this a joke Tom?”
“What? Why would you think that?”
“You made a report this morning, the death of a hiker. Burning red eyes, but not a bear.”
“It was the same thing. Except there are two now.”
“Ok. I’m going to get Martina on the line.”
The radio went silent. An eternity passed. I scanned the forest. Ripples of warm air rose up into the sky. Nothing else stirred.
“Ok Tom, we have no patience for this type of thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We spoke to Martina and she’s fine.”
“That’s impossible. They attacked her. I watched it happen.”
“You know there’s a waiting list to get in a lookout tower. I can have you replaced within a week.”
“Replace me today. Get up here and drag me down off the mountain.”
“We told you this morning that we can’t get up there on account of the fog.”
“The fog is gone. It’s clear skies.”
An audible sigh came through the radio. “The fog coupled with the weather warning the met office just issued means no one is going up the mountain today.”
“Are you insane? What weather? There isn’t a cloud in the sky.”
“Listen to me carefully. You are going to watch for fires. There’s lighting and high winds on the way. When it has blown through we can get someone up there to replace you. In the meantime stay in your lookout and keep this channel clear unless there is a real emergency.”
“I’m not in my lookout.”
“Where are you?”
“Where is Callum?”
I ran another eye over the inside of the lookout. Furniture and paper strewn across the floor, like a bomb had gone off. And still the smell of burning.
“No one is here.”
“Why are you there?”
I almost answered and then put the radio down. I’m at Lookout 3 because a fairy of some sort led me here through the fog. And then the fog lifted and the fairy disintegrated before my eyes. That would go down well.
Was this a dream? I grabbed the necklace the woman threw onto the deck before she evaporated into the wind. The points of the triangle left indents in my palm. That was real.
I picked up the other radio.
“Martina? Can you hear me?”
A man’s voice. Roger. “If you want to live, get back to your own lookout. The forest is about to burn.” In the background Martina made a muffled cry.
“Don’t hurt her.”
“There’s no stopping this now.”
The radio crackled and then went dead. I shouted into it until my throat was sore, but there was nothing more from Roger or Martina. I looked down at the base of the elevated structure. Unlike the barren peak at Lookout 2, up here the trees grew at the top. There was a well maintained clearing around the base of the structure, but in high wind could a fire spread far and fast enough to light the structure? The image of hot and red flames played in my head, so real I almost felt the heat. I had to get out of here.
I opened the door to the lookout and a wave of hot air shifted my weight onto my heels. The windows rattled. I put one foot onto the deck and remembered my backpack. The hot air followed me inside and picked up loose sheets of paper and pushed them against the windows. I grasped my backpack and straightened and came eye to eye with one of the sheets of paper stuck to the glass. The same hand written script that filled the pages of the book bound in black.
What the hell?
I put the backpack down and gathered up as much of the paper as I could. A couple of sheets beat me out the door and fluttered into the trees. I took the stack and dumped it down on the circular map in the middle of the lookout. I rifled through the pages, looking for some clue to unravel all this. There could be a clue in here that could help me get off this mountain alive. The woman in blue had told me I had to see what was in this lookout. This could be it.
Unintelligible script filled the pages. Geometric shapes overlapped with the writing. The same crap written in the book I found on the shelf of my lookout. This was useless. And then something else. I pulled out the page from the stack. What looked like a map.
I traced my finger over it. A series of curved lines, sometimes close together and sometimes far apart. I remembered enough from geography class to recognise contour lines. Two peaks and an elevated ridge. I threw the rest of the pages on the floor and compared the map to the larger disc map on the contraption to pinpoint fires. They matched. The two peaks were my lookout and this one. The ridge line was where Martina’s lookout stood. And the valley in between.
Deep in the valley, down at the lowest point was a black splotch. It occupied the exact centre of the page. I found the same spot on the bigger map, offset from the middle but not far off. In tiny lettering beside it read the word ‘cave’.
I went to the window and searched the forest for the place. Tracing a line between this lookout and Martina’s, I got a rough bearing on it. The trees parted slightly, but from this far away I could not see a cave. I picked up the binoculars and trained them on the spot. The trees hid whatever was down there. A shimmer of warm air rose between the trees, like the hot exhaust from a jet engine. That’s where they were. That’s where they took Martina. It had to be. But why?
Is this what the woman in blue wanted me to see? A low rumble rose above the sound of the wind and the rattle of the windows. A thin band of purple climbed above the western horizon and flashed. Lightning. The storm was on its way. If there was anything else up here to find, I wasn’t going to wait around and look for it.
I stuffed the map in my backpack and zipped it up and stumbled out the door. The adrenaline turned my legs rigid and I almost fell down the stairs. I grabbed the rail and shouted at myself to calm down. I ran in the direction of my lookout and came to the charred remains of the burnt out tree. The trunk ended abruptly at the top, a headless remnant of what it once was. And then I noticed something strange. The trunk had a hollow interior, like a giant black pipe sticking out of the ground.
I ran a palm over the rough exterior, black soot sticking to my skin. When I got to the triangle carved into the trunk I applied pressure. The charred bark cracked. I used both hands now, smashing the butt of my hand against the burnt wood. The bark splintered and a triangle shaped wedge fell came loose. I put my eye to the opening. The tree was hollow from top to bottom. It was the strangest thing. I wondered if the tree out the back of my lookout was the same. As far as I knew, trees did not grow with hollow insides.
I set off at a jog back towards my lookout. I had resolved to get off the mountain and beg a rescue team to come up and save Martina. Between the coming storm and Roger’s warning that the forest would burn, I had no interest in hanging around. The creature had taken Rebecca the hiker, and then two had taken Martina. But if I were right, they were down at the cave in the valley marked on the map. I had to be fast. I had to stay ahead of them or they would do to me as they had done to the hiker. I shuddered.
First stop was my lookout. It was on the way back to the Ranger Station and I could grab the rest of my things. I’d take down the black book of strange script too and show the Rangers. Let them tell me I’m crazy when confronted with evidence of the weird things going on up here.
Despite going downhill, I was soon puffing and spluttering. The infection in my chest had not yet cleared and my insides burned. I pulled the straps on the backpack to stop it slamming against my back as I hurdled fallen branches.
Near the bottom my right shoe slipped on a stray tuft of fern just as I readied to leap over the desiccated remains of a fallen tree. My balance thrown, I failed to get my left leg up in time and it caught on a branch sticking up from the tree. Pain shot through my ankle as it twisted into an unnatural position before the branch finally cracked under the pressure exerted by my falling body.
I cried out as I slammed shoulder first onto the forest floor. I lay there panting, my left leg dangling in the air. A terrible heat filled the ankle joint. I rubbed it with my hands and then rolled and got to my knees. The ankle was cooked and I knew it.
In high school I spent a season on the football team; in part because I loved the game and also in an attempt to raise my social standing. To the surprise of everyone I hadn’t performed badly and made a valuable contribution or two. That was until the last game of the season, a knockout fixture. I rolled my ankle barely two minutes into the game and, stupidly, stayed out on the field. While the injured ankle is still warm it works for a while and then the swelling and the bruising comes and the hobbling begins. It was at the start of the hobble phase that I missed a tackle. We lost the game and there was plenty of blame to throw around, and I copped more than my fair share.
I looked up the slope leading to my lookout. If I hustled it would be forty five minutes to the top, a hard slog uphill. I put some weight on my left leg and winced. I had to move now, the pain was only going to get worse.
Going uphill is infinitely harder than running on a flat patch of grass on a twisted ankle. All the grip comes through the toes and places stress on the joint. I started going up sideways to at least keep my foot in a neutral position.
Sweat poured down my face. The forest trapped the heat and the air was warm and suffocating. My throat burned. I needed water. Thunder rumbled low in the distance. I could not see the horizon through the trees, but it sounded closer than before. I pushed everything else from my mind and focussed only on the next painful step.
The radio crackled. I shook my torso trying to set the backpack free. Sweat soaked my shirt and made everything sticky. I overbalanced and tumbled to the ground. I freed myself of the straps and pulled the radio free.
“Tom? Tom?” The voice was a whisper. Martina.
I whispered in response. “I’m here.”
“He’s coming for you.”
A clattering noise came through the radio and then it went dead.
No response. I groaned and got to my feet, exhausted and dehydrated and sore. The first step on the twisted ankle shot pain right up my leg and I almost collapsed back to the ground. I looked ahead, the roof of my lookout poked up above the peak. I was close. Was I close enough?
The rising slope of the peak became the long hallway at my high school. Lockers pushed up against the wall. Doors with glass windows to the classrooms. In my memories that hallway is empty aside from him and me. In truth there were kids everywhere, but they were unimportant. He yelled out down the hallway. Winslow! He was already running. I slammed shut the locker and went. I skidded and slipped on the polished tiles. That time I almost made it, almost. In sight of sanctuary a violent tug on my backpack and I went down. The blows burst through my defences. I covered my head. Tears flowed. Now the other kids fill in the blank spaces. They laugh and taunt. Waterworks Winslow.
Somewhere behind me a branch cracked. I turned back and it is the forest once more. I searched the trees for the sign of movement. My ankle is almost shot. All the force driving me up the slope towards the lookout comes from my good right leg. The left leg is nothing more than a prop keeping me upright.
I look back up and stop dead in my tracks. Above me on the slope stands the creature I saw take Rebecca. One of the things that abducted Martina. It looked a version of human, the body and limbs and head in the right proportion. But the skin was ash-grey and smooth, like the surface of pottery hardened in a kiln. Its eyes burned red. It radiated heat, the air shimmering off its shoulders.
“You’re coming with me.”
The voice of a man. I did not recognise it. A notion had worked its way into my head, that this thing hunting in the forest was in fact Roger, the missing man from my lookout. But this was not Roger’s voice. I had heard Roger through the radio, and even though a radio can distort a voice, this was so different in pitch that it could not belong to Roger. That left one option. Callum. The occupant of Lookout 3.
I turned and shuffled down the slope. He laughed. He laughed with the same derision as those bullies in high school.
I reached up and grabbed a low hanging branch. I yanked it hard until it splintered and broke off and provided a weapon of sorts. I pointed the branch up the slope and swung it back and forth. This only elicited more laughter.
He sprung downwards and gripped the end of the branch. The muscles in my arms tensed and I pulled back. His face broke into a hideous smile, the teeth the same grey as the skin. With a single pull of unnatural strength he yanked the branch from my hands.
For a moment I stood on the slope, exposed and defenceless. And then I ran. My ankle screamed with pain, but I ran. I whimpered under my breath, waiting for a pull at my backpack to confirm that my assailant had caught up to me. I anticipated the feeling of helplessness and for the world to beat me down one more time.
It was not a pull of the backpack that stopped my flight. I heard the whoosh before a tree branch crashed into the side of my head. The impact set off a flash before my eyes and then everything went black.
An explosive crack of thunder flicked the lights back on inside my head. I blinked a haze of blurred green into focus. The canopy of the forest and between it jagged slivers of blue sky. My head lifted and smacked back down on the forest floor. My shirt rode up and formed a twisted mess around my shoulder blades. I looked to my feet, elevated and ahead. The smooth and grey skin of Callum. He dragged me through the forest, down towards the cave. He was taking me to Roger. X
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2023.03.22 16:37 Educational_Ad_4727 What to do when employer won't pay?
To summarize, I got this software dev internship with some small entrepreneur in Toronto to create a webapp for him. I got this through linkedin, not through waterlooworks.
In the contract it was stated they would pay us twice a month, but they never have. They did pay us for the first 3 weeks of January, but sometime early in februrary via an etransfer - not even "payroll".
It's been nearly 2 months since then, he said he would pays us for Februrary and mid march on March 15th, but he still hasn't paid us. His reason for the first delay back in Februrary was because "the payroll company sucks" and that the current delay is just "payroll being processed". He said it would take 3-5 business days but it's been 5 business days by now?
It's us two interns, kinda unsure what we're supposed to do. They said they knew SWPP won't pay him his subidy until he fully pays us, but he's not paying us at all. I've stopped working cause I can't fathom how I could let someone get away with not paying me for 3 and almost 4 payment cycles, terms he put in his own alleged contract
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2023.03.22 16:37 leftoverhotdog please recommend me some schools
Hey, I am an International and I would like some schools, especially safties, for me near application
GendeEthnicity- M/East Asian
SAT- 1410 (defo raise and can go TO for competitive schools)
GPA- 5 scale but 4.8/5 UW (we don't do weighted)
Intended major- Biology
Financials: can definitely pay up to 50k, 70k is max. Preferably seeking partial aid (20-30k)
Extracurriculars/awards (only major ones)
- Aided research/shadowing at T5 affiliated hospital/lab
- Qualified for world round for date (got covid and couldn't attend)
- Sports (4 years of my hs)
-Shadowing at a near hospital
- Worked for the school festival (executive officer)
- annual marathon volunteer (did like 4 times)
Reach/Dream schools- Harvard, Bowdoin, Bates, and BU
I lived in the states for almost 7 years, specifically in Massachusetts for 5 years and California for 2 years. I was definitely aware of the schools in Boston (Harvard/MIT/BU) since it was famous and I used to take football (soccer lessons) at one of them. I'd like to go back to Massachusetts since everything was near perfect for me. That is why homesickness isn't a problem at all. I'd like my college to be close to the coast(east or west). Moreover, I'm planning to start a research paper with my biology teacher which I hope can get published.
I'd like where research opportunities are well established for undergrads since I like doing research and plan to do it in my undergrads. I'm probably oriented towards pre-med so I'd like the school to have opportunities for pre-med students. Some may notice that my choices for schools are LACs but I believe some LACs offer great opportunities for students seeking research and medical portfolio. Of course, LACs or schools located in the middle of nowhere aren't ideal for me as I mentioned previously (ex. can't get volunteering/shadowing near a hospital or lab). Most LACs are expensive and need-aware so I'd have to keep in mind my financials; unlike others seeking full-play applicants, maybe applicants seeking minimal aid don't change the decision of an applicant that much????
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2023.03.22 16:36 yourfavoritetomie I’m scared
Not sure what to post because I deleted my older things when CA went public again. I’m very very afraid. I don’t think I need money? I don’t know. I live near STL. What I need is benzos to detox. Yes, I should go to the hospital, but I have three living creatures depending on me. I’ve been awake for almost 3 days now. Only slept because I drank enough. I’m sorry. I’m just terrified. A prayer would do wonders, but idk what else to do. This isn’t like me at all … I’m so sorry
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2023.03.22 16:36 bigboi8540 My (20m) girlfriend (20f) have been struggling recently due to me being in the military…if anyone has advice that would be good
So me and my gf have been together for a nearly a year and honestly she has completely swept me off my feet, I’ve never laughed like this with someone. We’ve already done some travelling together, my family love her and her family loves me. We love each other so much. It has been PERFECT.
When I went to basic training october last year it was difficult for her at the start but we got through it and it did get better throughout. I always made an effort to go see her on the weekends I had off and we had three weeks together a Christmas time so it wasn’t like we weren’t seeing each other at all.
I’m now coming to the end of my second phase of training and she has started to bring up a lot how she’s dreading when I go away. She’s always been a bit of a worrieover thinker it’s like she can’t switch her mind off. She says even when we’re together and everything’s perfect she’ll be thinking how it’s not going to last because I need to go back to my job and eventually I’ll be going away for a long time and she doesn’t know how she’ll be able to cope with that. She doesn’t want our relationship to be 90% over the phone. We’ve always been very big on communication but every time we seem to talk about this it turns into a small or big argument. We always resolve them and never leave them under the rug.
We have agreed that we need to find a solution to coping with it because in both our minds breaking up is just not an option. Neither of us want to lose what we have because it really is so special. I will fight for this girl and she will fight for me. So all I’m asking is if anyone as any advice on a healthy way to deal with her worrying or the situation in general as it is starting to drain both of us.
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2023.03.22 16:35 louied91 Pressure BioSciences Receives $1.5M Contract for UltraShear Nanoemulsified CBD
News Link: https://www.accesswire.com/745130/Pressure-BioSciences-Receives-15M-Contract-for-UltraShear-Nanoemulsified-CBD CBD Supply MD, a Leading Maryland-Based CBD Retailer, to Introduce PBIO's UltraShear Processed, Best-in-Class Nanoemulsified CBD Products Across the Multi-State Mid-Atlantic Region SOUTH EASTON, MA / ACCESSWIRE / March 22, 2023 /
Pressure BioSciences, Inc. (OTCQB:PBIO) ("PBI" or the "Company"), a global leader in the development and sale of broadly enabling, high-pressure-based products and services to the life sciences and other industries, and CBD Supply MD, one of the largest and best-known retail suppliers of CBD products in the multi-state mid-Atlantic region, today announced the execution and launch of a manufacturing and distribution agreement (the "Agreement"). Under the terms of the Agreement, PBIO will supply CBD Supply MD with the Company's UltraShear™ optimized nanoemulsions of CBD in a best-in-class, long-term stable, and highly bioavailable CBD Topical Spray, formulated for ideal effectiveness and optimal potency, addressing consumer's diverse CBD objectives. The Agreement is expected to generate over $1.5 Million in revenue for PBIO during 2023, including nearly $250,000 in the second quarter.
The Agreement defines four phases of product development and commercialization for a custom-formulated topical spray of hemp-derived, UltraShear nanoemulsified CBD designed for extremely rapid absorption and effectiveness and for efficient high potency delivery of the CBD active material in each dose. All ingredients used in the manufacture of the Company's nano-CBD are sourced from naturally-occurring, plant-based origins. Phase I of the Agreement is underway and provides for an initial shipment of 850 vials (30ml. volume @ 40mg/ml) of UltraShear-nanoemulsified CBD to CBD Supply MD by mid-April 2023.
Mr. Keith E. Manley, Co-founder of CBD Supply MD, commented: "Partnerships like this don't happen overnight - and for good reason. It takes a lot of time and hard work to ensure that both parties are a good fit, now and in the future. The game-changing UltraShear processed product line we are bringing to market fills a legitimate, long-awaited, and sorely unfulfilled need of our customers and the market."
Mr. Manley continued: "This past year I've gotten to know Ric and the PBIO team very well. As CEO of CBD Supply MD, I review thousands of products a year. Without hesitation, I can say the hemp-derived nano-CBD developed by Pressure BioSciences is a true game-changer. Their best-in-class UltraShear processed nano-CBD manifests unmatched bioavailability and long-term shelf stability that is unparalleled in the industry. This is the first of many UltraShear nanoemulsified products we plan to bring to market with our new partner PBIO. As excited as this makes me, I know that my enthusiasm will pale in comparison to the benefits our customers will receive."
Mr. John B. Hollister, Director of Sales and Marketing at PBI, observed: "CBD Supply MD is a rapidly-growing and highly respected market leader, with one of the largest established customer bases in the mid-Atlantic region. We are excited that their customers will now have the opportunity to benefit from our best-in-class nano-CBD product that has been manufactured with our patented UltraShear processing platform. Results achieved to date with UltraShear-processed cannabis products gives us tremendous confidence that word will spread very quickly about the absorption speed and effectiveness of our UltraShear-enabled products, as well as how quickly and effectively they address and satisfy the needs of the customer. We look forward to developing multiple additional product formulations with CBD Supply MD beyond this substantial initial $1.5M contract."
Mr. Richard T. Schumacher, PBIO's President and CEO summed up: "Our diverse work on UltraShear nanoemulsion processing across nutraceutical, cosmeceutical, pharmaceutical, food/beverage, and agrochemical markets has generated an exciting array of developing commercial opportunities for PBI. We have foreshadowed a plethora of contracts anticipated with many clients requiring nanoemulsion product development, demonstrations, toll manufacturing services, and eventual lease/license agreements around our patented and revolutionary UltraShear technology platform. We are honored to welcome this new partnership with CBD Supply MD - a highly respected retail sales leader in the cannabis marketplace, especially in CBD products. Additional pending agreement announcements, coupled with continued positive improvements in our financing activities, balance sheet, and capitalization table are helping us accelerate PBIO's path forward to a planned uplist to either the NASDAQ/ NYSE stock exchange later this year. Finally, as much as we are deeply excited about our achievements to date, we truly believe that the best is yet to come."
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2023.03.22 16:35 sellvsrent Should I sell house or rent it out?
Early 40's couple in Raleigh NC. Wife (then g/f) bought a house in 2010 which we lived in, fixed up and moved out of in 2016. We've been renting that house out since then to the same tenants for 7 years. (They're good tenants, but we're not realizing the full potential of the rental value in a very hot neighborhood in a very hot market.) We bought a nearby house in 2016 that we fixed up over the years and then we just recently found a new house that we love, so we bought it and moved with plans to rent the 2nd house out, along with the 1st. We'd heard forever that real estate investment (especially in an ever-growing area like ours) is never a bad idea and that's what our long term plan was - hold and rent until we needed the cash or decided to get out of the rental game.
In looking at some of the get-ready costs for the house to rent and some of the ongoing fees (landscaping a large yard, etc), I'm starting to rethink this. I spent some time looking at sell vs rent calculators, and reading other posts, but it's not very clear to me, so I wanted to reach out for some more educated opinions. Here's the skinny:
27609 zip code, potential rental income for 3b2ba single family house ~$2100-2300 after mgmt expenses. Original purchase price $235k, current mortgage ($150k left) on that property with 22 years to go is ~$1250/mo so maybe we profit $1k/month if all goes well and there aren't major repairs. There ARE some major things to get done before renting, probably in the neighborhood of $15k. This neighborhood is one of the hottest in the US and is currently going through a transition of tear downs/rebuilds, and if we sell this house will likely be torn down so they can put a McMansion in. Right now we could probably sell it for $500-550k, perhaps a little more if we time it right, but not totally sure. Basically, if we sell, we likely will NOT have to make the $15k in repairs and can walk away from the house as-is.
So the obvious question is, are we better off financially in the LONG TERM to sell now, take the lump sum and invest it conservatively? I've read 5% is a conservative number for long term returns, so let's say I can walk away with 350-400k in my pocket, I can hopefully make ~$20k/ year right of the bat, investing that money and let it grow over time. How high and how fast will my property value have to rise in order for it to make more sense to rent it and try and sell high later? Obviously no one knows what that investment market or the real estate market is going to do, but we're in a hot area with a ton of development so I certainly don't see it going down anytime soon.
So there's obviously the human cost of stressing over tenants/maintenance/repairs/vacancies/liability with renting it out, and so if the financials make more sense to sell now and have less headaches, then what's the downside? What am I missing here other than potential profit if the market stays hot and keeps rising? There are emotional/sentimental factors at play, but I want to present a cleaconcise financial case to the wife and go from there. Thanks in advance for any advice and apologies if I missed any details I should have shared.
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2023.03.22 16:34 Any-Coconut-6013 Virginity and vaginal bleeding
Me and my girlfriend have both lost virginities to each other, the first few times her hymen did not break but after a few times, the last time we did it, it broke (atleast we think) because she started bleeding. She wiped the little bit of blood and we continued. Soon after tho, there was more blood and there was quite a lot of it. After a while the bleeding stopped but now, 4 days later she noticed a tiny bit of blood on her fingers, again, while masturbating. Is this something we should be scared of..? Edit: forgot to add that she is nowhere near her period.
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2023.03.22 16:34 MRetro Which are the wireless options with game/chat mix?
I've spent days looking for wireless headsets with this feature but it seems like it's nearly impossible to find a decent one.
The ones I tried (and I'm not buying again) are:
- Artics 7 (which Chatmix was btw), although I've seen that the Artics Nova Wireless also have it, but not withing the headset itself, but as an option in the base thingy that charges the batteries (which isn't what I'm looking for).
- Astro a50 gen 4: I had to return these ones due to having trouble every single time Astro launched a firmware update. They would stop charging, wouldn't update the firmware, get bricked, etc so no more Astro for me
- The las one I got was the Turtle Beach Stealth 700 gen 2 MAX, which at first seemed like a good option because the secondary wheel could be mapped to control the Chat volume, but unfortunately it doesn't work, they just control the Mic Monitor level, and it looks like it's a common problem with this model, so I guess it's just another disappointment.
Besides those headsets, I seriously couldn't find anything else (with stock, because if they were in stock I would have bought the HyperX Cloud Flight S) besides maybe the Roccat Syn Air, which is another Astro a50 which seems to have pretty much the same problems, and I refuse to spend 200+ bucks in another "high end" headset with a bunch of problems that won't get solved.
So, are there any other options out there? (wireless of course). Or maybe an alternative to this feature?
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2023.03.22 16:33 Arc_ChrisRS Tenants last month and she’s been horrible. Need help! [NY]
So this is my tenants last month, she moves April 1st. The last month she has refused to pay rent, won’t pay any other utilities, and so on. I figured to just bite the bullet and collect the security for last month rent, I’m sure it’s a mess inside too.
This isn’t necessarily my issue, my issue is my tenants are big animal lovers and vegetarians. She has gone to the extent of putting a dead deer head on her atv in the yard and hanging a dead (skinned) fox or coyote from her door. It’s disturbing to my other tenants and I’m quite unsure what to do. This is my first bad tenant I’ve had. She is extremely loud going upstairs now, just doing anything she can to create drama. I’m hoping someone here can give me some law or something to do about the dead animals at the very least?
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2023.03.22 16:33 vasko2109 Calisthenics in Brussels
Hi guys, I really want to start doing calisthenics instead of going to the gym, but cant find any places I can go near me. I live in Ixelles. Maybe somebody knows a place and can recommend.
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2023.03.22 16:32 Rattus375 Kansas State Scouting Report
Offense Thoughts 1. They love to get out and run, 44th in the country in terms of average position length on offense. From MSU’s perspective, I don’t mind this at all. Even though we haven’t run much on offense this year, we don’t sell out for offensive boards and drop 4 back to defend transition and have the conditioning / fitness needed to run with them.
- Not a good 3-point shooting team and they don’t take or make a lot of shots. Kansas State only has 3 players who you really need to worry about from 3. Keyontae Johnson and Ishmael Massoud are the two best shooters on Kansas State in terms of 3-point percentage. Johnson is one of the best wings in the country and is a 3-level scorer who plays over 30 minutes a game, split between the 3 and the 4 positions. Massoud plays less than 15 minutes a night and is strictly a 3-point shooter. Both Massoud and Johnson are mainly catch and shoot players and neither is a major threat shooting off the dribble 3 pointers. Marquis Nowell is shooting a lower percentage on the year at only 35%, but he is absolutely the most dangerous shooter on the team. He can pull up from anywhere on the court and has no problem taking and making 3’s off the dribble. Outside of those 3, you don’t really need to worry about helping off of the 3 point line.
- They crash the offensive boards hard. They often send two bigs to the hoop after a shot, giving up transition defense but getting a lot of offensive rebounds as a result. They have 3 centers who play at both the 4 and the 5 (Johnson plays a lot at the 4 as well) and all 3 of them have comparable offensive rebound rates to Sissoko, and they usually send two of them to the basket when Johnson is at the 3. Good defensive rebounding is key in this game, and this has been a strength of ours over the course of the season outside of our small ball lineup.
- Nowell and Johnson are the two players to watch out for. Remove those two players from Kansas State and they would be closer to Minnesota than an NIT squad. Defending Nowell is the key to shutting down KState’s offense. Nowell is arguably the best point guard in the country this year and his driving ability coupled with his passing ability opens up tons of shots and driving lanes for the rest of the team. Johnson benefits a ton from Nowell’s passing skill and the two have a great connection and natural feel with each other, getting lots of alley-oops and passes for open 3s and layups from Nowell -> Johnson.
- Those flashy passes and fast paced offense come at a cost of turnovers. KState turns the ball over a lot, even against teams like MSU that don’t try to jump passing lanes and force turnovers. Not sure if it’s a big advantage either way, but it’s a fun matchup of a team that doesn’t turn the ball over or force turnovers against a team that forces a ton of turnovers and turns the ball over a lot.
- Lots of 5-out and spread offense. KState often puts all 5 offensive players on or near the perimeter to open up space for Nowell and Sills to drive to the basket 1 on 1. For Nowell, this often is just to compress the defense and pass the ball back out, but for Sills it is usually to give him a chance to score one-on-one. It’s going to be important for our guards to be locked in defensively as it is crucial to stay in front of their guards as they drive.
Defensive Thoughts: 1. They switch everything. Kansas state is a super athletic team and will often switch 1-5 when confronted by ball screens. I like this for MSU, as Hoggard and Walker love to blow by slower bigs and finish at the rim, and Hauser and Hall do a good job posting up smaller guards (and KState’s guards are quite small compared to Hall/Hauser)
- Decent 3-point defense. Kansas State ranks highly in 3 point percent defense, but does allow a lot of looks from 3. Switching on screens generally improves 3-point defense, but I think KState is benefitting a bit from some 3-point luck defensively. In the 5 games I watched while scouting the team, they let up a good number of open looks from 3. Some games they fell, while others (like the Kentucky game) the other team just missed good looks. Overall, they aren’t a bad 3-point defense like Marquette or USC, but I don’t think they are particularly good either.
- Sub-par rim protection. While Kansas State has 3 solid defensive centers, none are particularly long or imposing at the rim. Guards do a good job finishing against them, though their bigs are good one on one post defenders (N’Guessan and Tomlin at least, not as much for Iyiola).
- Poor defensive rebounding. Just like USC and Marquette, KState isn’t a good defensive rebounding team. Part of this is a lack of positional size throughout the team, but from what I’ve seen, more of it is stylistic. Bigs away from the basket when the shot happens don’t even try to rebound and just start rim running to get out in transition. Unlike MSU, who regularly keeps 3-4 players back to go for defensive boards, KState is much more willing to go with 2-3 players and just lose the numbers game on that end of the floor. This is never a bad thing, but we aren’t a great team to take advantage of it since Sissoko is the only player on our team who is really a plus offensive rebounder.
- Turnovers galore. KState jumps passing lanes, presses intermittently throughout the games and goes for strips and steals on regular possessions. I think this is overall a good thing for MSU, as we are quite good at not turning the ball over this season and KState often gets out of position after making aggressive plays on the ball.
- Tons of stupid fouls. Kansas State fouls a ton, and a huge portion of those fouls are non-shooting fouls. They play aggressive defense and aren’t afraid to go for risky turnovers, even if it means they might foul. This is good for an MSU team that doesn’t get to the line much, but shoots well once we get there. Unfortunately, Nowell and Johnson don’t play nearly as aggressively defensively as their teammates and aren’t in foul trouble often (likely an intentional decision as they are absolutely needed on offense).
Positional Battles: 1. Point Guard: Nowell vs. Walker / Akins / Holloman: Even though Hoggard is MSU’s primary point guard, I’ll be shocked if he and Nowell guard each other at all outside of switches for this game. Hoggard would struggle to keep up with Nowell and Nowell would get bullied at the rim by Hoggard. I think Walker is the perfect player to guard Nowell. He’s an elite defender and athlete, but does struggle with bigger players shooting over him. I think he will do an outstanding job against Nowell. When Walker is out, I think Holloman and Akins will be tasked with guarding him, as nobody else has the speed to keep up. I think both will be able to do a decent job defending him, but I think Walker has the potential to completely shut him down. Nowell will essentially play the entire game for KSU as long as he doesn’t foul out. Defensively, Nowell is a very good defender and stays in front of his man, but not an elite one due to his size. I think Walker will be able to shoot over him and have a good deal of success offensively. Overall, I think I’d lean MSU with this particular matchup, even if Nowell is a better player overall than Walker.
- Shooting Guard: Sills / Carter vs. Akins / Hoggard: Sills is an excellent ball handler and finisher and will blow by defenders to get to the rim. He is only 6’2, so Walker guarding him isn’t out of the question, but I think Hoggard and Akins will get the nod here. Akins is better suited to guard Sills because of his speed, but I think Hoggard will be able to do a good job as well. Sills is an absolutely terrible 3-point shooter (22%) but has no problem taking threes, so the biggest thing with this matchup is staying in front of him, even if you give him a massive cushion on the 3-point line. Cam Carter plays a lot of minutes and starts at the 3, but is basically a non-factor offensively. He doesn’t finish well at the rim, doesn’t shoot well from 3, and turns the ball over a ton. Whoever is guarding him isn’t particularly important as he doesn’t have the ball skills to utilize his athleticism. Defensively, both Sills and Carter are plus players, though both are also foul prone. Carter is the best defender on the team from what I’ve watched. One of these players will be on Hoggard basically at all times. Edge here definitely goes to MSU.
- Small Forward: Carter / Johnson vs. Akins / Hoggard / Hall: Carter was mentioned in the shooting guard section so I won’t talk much about him here. He’s the starter at the 3 and plays a lot of minutes, but isn’t good offensively and is mostly a defensive specialist. Johnson is outstanding and is going to be tough to cover. He spends a little less than half his time playing at the 3. I think Hall is the ideal person to cover Johnson. He is stronger and bigger to guard him in the post, while still being fast enough where he shouldn't be beaten off the dribble often. However, with how much Johnson plays, we will absolutely need Akins or Hoggard to spend some time covering him as well. Hoggard would do a better job defending him in the post, while Akins’ extra length would help on the perimeter. I’d lean towards Hoggard guarding him when Hall is out or matched up against a big, but I could see Akins working as well. This one is about even, with Johnson carrying a ton of weight even playing just half the minutes.
- Power Forward: Johnson / N’Guessan / Massoud vs. Hauser / Hall: Johnson is going to be a nightmare if Hauser needs to defend him. He has a great handle and is very fast for his size. Hall needs to be the primary defender when he is in at the 4 as much as possible, and Johnson is significantly faster than Hauser and will pump fake and drive to the basket. Massoud is a stretch 4 who is basically strictly a shooter. Hauser should have no problem matching up against him. N’Guessan is one of the players that concerns me the most though. He plays a lot of minutes at the 4, but he is a true center with a back to the basket game. He’s not dominant and doesn’t score a ton of points, but he’s going to be bigger and stronger than Hall/Hauser and is the type of player that has given our center rotation a lot of trouble this year. He can’t shoot or hit free throws, but he has a nice hook shot and a few post moves. He could provide 10 points off the bench and give a spark to KSU. I think this is an issue for us for this matchup and would give the edge to Kansas State.
- Center: Tomlin / N’Guessan / Iyiola vs. Sissoko / Cooper / Kohler: Tomlin is their starter but he only plays about 25 minutes a game. He doesn’t really have a great back to the basket game, but he is a good ball handler and driver, similar to Ighodaro last week. He is the third leading scorer and will drive to the basket and finish at the rim, or take face up jumpers. While I don’t think we will shut him down, Sissoko and Cooper did well against similar style bigs on USC and Marquette in the last two games, so I’m not particularly worried about this matchup. I think this will be another game where Cooper makes more sense as the backup big thanks to his better mobility and length. Tomlin won’t be able to punish his lack of strength. N’Guessan is a more traditional center, and he could give Cooper some trouble in the post. Kohler matches up better against him, but I think we want Sissoko in whenever N’Guessan is in the game. Iyiola plays only a few minutes off the bench and his offensive role is similar to Cooper’s, limited to just open dunks and lobs. None of the centers are great shot blockers, which should help our guards finishing at the rim. They have also done a great job as post up defenders, but that doesn’t really matter since we don’t really have any post up scoring from our bigs anyways. Can’t give the edge to our centers just because of their lack of scoring and inconsistent play throughout the year, but if Sissoko plays like he did last game, this isn’t a bad matchup at all for them.
Overall Thoughts on the matchup / TLDR: I like this matchup for us, though it’s pretty close to even. If Walker shuts down Nowell like I think he will, we should win this game, but that’s far from guaranteed to happen. Nowell is a dynamic player and he could absolutely take over a game. Johnson is a tough cover for any team, and he could be a major problem as we don’t have anyone perfectly suited to guarding him (though Hall isn’t bad). I’d lean MSU in this game and I genuinely think we are the better team overall, but I think it’s very close. Unlike the Marquette game, we are going up against a team that can hang with us athletically, and probably even surpasses us a little. We are going to need some better 3-point shooting than we got last week if we are going to come away with a win, but there is a reason vegas has us as slight favorites in this game.
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2023.03.22 16:32 sudo_samba_addusr Let's Talk about Tisha B'Av
This topic came up on a trauma-related Discord server I am on.
On a personal level, I believe that there is a fine line between talking about trauma in a healthy way involving expressing emotions that were originally repressed, and re-experiencing/re-traumatizing by talking about trauma in an unhealthy, self-perpetuating way.
The goal in trauma therapy is frequently to 'process' the trauma, grieve, get angry if necessary, and then eventually, move on after the grief process is complete. For this to work the client must be shown that the client is now in a safe place, that the trauma will not repeat itself in the present. The trauma can then naturally be grieved and somewhat forgotten, or at least, it won't be as present in the conscious/subconscious mind anymore, because it has been sufficiently grieved, and the body recognizes it is now safe and no longer has to defend itself.
And I believe the same ideas can be applied to national traumas.
What I am saying, and this may be a controversial take, is that I believe Tisha B'Av to skew more as an emotionally unhealthy day. To me, Tisha B'Av is more about re-experiencing national trauma, and re-creating the feelings of danger, unsafety, fear, and sadness in the present, than it is properly mourning them.
Small children are taught to mourn a Temple they have never seen and have no connection to.
Slightly older children are taught about how the Romans martyred 10 Rabbis from the time of the Mishnah, and are taught of the gruesome deaths and tortures used. Children are taught to feel the terror of the pogroms during the Crusades, and are told graphic stories of death, fire, and wanton destruction. The Kinnot which are read are frequently incredibly graphic, with stories of men burned alive, skin raked off, and much worse.
Many adults in the more religious communities artificially induce themselves to cry in order to mourn the loss of the Temple.
The narrative (perhaps justifiable but still) that Eisav will always hate Yaakov is expounded on, and we are all taught to fear living as Jews in a world that will always hate us. A national identity of fear is created and reinforced.
And of course, the Holocaust. We recount horrific stories, that of course, should be taught and recorded, but is recounting them in public and requiring everyone to attend the way to do this? Should children be taught about Dr. Mengele? Many if not most Jews have had mental health struggles at one time or another. Should people with histories of trauma or even regular anxiety be subject to these stories? We are reminded by every Rabbi that the Holocaust could re-occur today given the right circumstances. This may be factually correct, but is this the attitude that our grandparents who survived the Holocaust want for us to live by? Do they want for their kids to live in constant fear, or did they survive the Holocaust to get out of that constant fear?
The amount of collective fear can make Jews living in the modern day afraid to talk to non-Jews, and find anti-semitism around every corner. Yes, anti-semitism is a problem in today's world, but the anti-semitism of today is nowhere near what it was in the times of the events described on Tisha B'Av. The practice of deliberately isolating Jews from non-Jews just recreates old problems, and the old ghetto's of the past are willfully re-created in the name of avoiding the hedonism of the modern world...
And the origin of Tisha B'Av is also to me a story of trauma and abuse. According to the Talmud, God was angry at the Jews for crying when they heard the meraglim's report that Israel was not as amazing a land as they had been led to believe. Apparently God said "You have cried in vain, so I will give you something to cry about."
That line is the classic line of an abusive narcissist parent to a child that needs compassion, rather than further hurt.
Why can't Tisha B'Av be a day of gratitude as well? A day to celebrate the differences between the past and the present, instead of interpreting the present in the lens of the past? A day of mindfulness where we can appreciate how different the daily life of the average Jew today is? A day to just exist in the present moment and marvel at how different things are today.
What are your thoughts?
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2023.03.22 16:32 scd2ngt Met my abuser again after years, it was worse than I thought
In the last weeks I made some posts about the fact that I would see my abusive uncle after years of no contact at a funeral. So the funeral happend. I went with my mom who doesn't know. We didn't sat near him in the church but after that she wanted to wait for him. I just tried to ignore him. And it almost worked. But then my mom and I were sitting on a bench and he came from behind and just hugged me. And called me by my childhood nickname. I couldn't breath. I just sat still. I feel so dirty since that. I was prepared to like shake his hand with my gloves on. But he was so close. His face in my hair. His breath on my cheek. I just want to die. I said to myself the whole time he wouldn't do anything or talk to me. And he is old now. But he was still bigger than me. His grip was still so scary. And I still felt like a little kid. Lost and alone.
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2023.03.22 16:31 Grouchy-Bandicoot772 Weird guy
Hey everyone I just wanted to say my friend told me she was followed by a guy last week near the grove street path station. He was asking for some sort of donation for a basketball team. My friend said she didn’t have any money but he was really persistent. Has anyone dealt with the same thing?
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2023.03.22 16:31 0aprobar XXXmas Greetings. Bad Santa Claus Alexandr Great Fuck me near the Christmas Tree
2023.03.22 16:31 ssbn622 Spiderman Bronze age question
Need help figuring out an issue. I read this as a kid and never went to the next issue because you know how kids are. But the last page stuck with me all these years (like 40 freaking years). The last page had Spider-Man crouching near a chimney rooftop with this huge werewolf jumping at him from behind. Peter's spidey sense was tingling but he couldn't figure out where the danger was coming from. Didn't Jameson's son come back from the Moon and infected with some sort of werewolf curse?
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2023.03.22 16:30 Spidersfromvenus Boston Tea Party
We didn't have buckets or spades, making our way down to the beach. All we were doing was walking, apparently holding on to nothing, from where we'd parked the car, up top by a little sign that indicated the way down to the seaside. It's not a huge flashing neon thing, that sign, and there are no ice cream vans or hot dogs lining the quiet little roads it points you along .
I think that's right.
My wife, and the kids, they know that this isn't a normal outing, for me, but I haven't properly told them why. I will always regret that. A bit. I'm learning to let things go. But I gave them no chance to help me. They could have 'held my hand'.
Not far from the sea, my wife fell. No way would I add a detail like that into this particular set of words, for effect. She truly did. Off the road, by a ditch, in grass. The kids were upset, a little alarmed. You don't want that kind of thing happening to the most important person in your whole life.
That was hard. But she got up, and we pressed on.
I was walking a bit ahead, past the museum, when we finally got down to the front. My wife and son had stopped to look at a house that wasn't there. It had been deliberately removed, according to the sign they'd been reading, that my wife quietly told me about, after they'd caught me back up. I'd needed to be told, because you don't always notice a house that's only significant by its absence
What's a house, after all. If it is obstructing a sightline? At Omaha, it's nothing.
There's a memorial. And there's the beach itself. I don't think I went on that sand, but I can't even remember. I don't think I went onto the sand at Gold beach, either. Whereas I did, at Utah.
Arromanches is odd, out of all of those. On Gold. Because, of all things, the powers that be didn't want to mess it up, maybe partly because they wanted to to put a Mulberry harbour on to it, as a result of which that particular section of Gold wasn't claimed, by the allies, until June 7th, when they kind of went back for it. The other Mulberry was planned for here. Omaha.
The Mulberrys were going to be vital, because there wasn't much certainty of grabbing hold of an actual port, intact, at any speed, and the challenge of that had already been disastrously proved at Dieppe, the like of which was never to be repeated.
They hoped. When the boats went out from Portsmouth, and all over. They hoped.
I don't intend to try and describe what those ships were heading towards, with all of those men crammed on board, in various states of excitement and unease, and seasickness, in the rough weather that had almost been too rough for the window of possibility, but not quite. I don't have the tools.
Dante might have tried it. And as for the cold details, historians have rightly done what needed to be done, it's all there. Somehow, almost yard by yard. That's all I'm going to directly say, about the pain part of those forever grains, and accompanying learning, to date.
We went to the museum. And to a cafe, overlooking the memorial, and neither of those places were anything which might not be somewhere else. In the museum, they showed some black and white film of the landing craft, heading for shore, and then men coming off. Or not. That was when the kids saw. Only then, for a few brief stunned moments.
It's still different for them, though, because of me with a dad born in 1929, and the kids with a mum born in 1966.
_ _ _
In the afternoon, same day, we went to Sainte-Mere-Eglise. Where there's a church, with a parachute hung over it, and a different museum. The airborne side, of Overlord. The biggest amphibious landing, in history. Pray, it always will be.
John Steele, an American paratrooper, was caught up on the roof of that church, that June night. Dangling, from a parachute like the one that's there now. Not dead, just suspended. He could do nothing, hanging there, except watch his compatriots, and their enemies, down on the ground. Not a show I'd want to witness, in that way.
If anyone does want a kind of a show, then there's three I can mention. 'The Longest Day', 'Saving Private Ryan' and the severally episoded 'Band of Brothers'. I would guess that it's possible to argue against the existence of any or all of those representations, but I would be on the side of them staying. I think they are wholly decent. They use effects, they maybe mess things around a little, but on the whole they, in their way, look to show, and to tell. Please, never again.
I went into the museum. My second of the day. I left my wife and kids to (finally) get ice cream - where they could buy whatever they needed, in any of those shops or bars that are completely awash with gratitude, so many years after. The same tributes as I remembered being moved by at Arromanches. Liberty. Thank you.
Despite everything. Thank you.
We should have all gone into that museum together, like at Omaha. But there was a comment, in the car. 'Another museum?'
Maybe two in a day is a bit much, but it was a shame because the second one was better. Maybe the one at Omaha is falling over itself not to make mistakes? With the one I went to alone, the message was clearer. Set out in ways that people could easily work with. Not gory, but efficiently engaging.
They would have been fine with it. They would have grasped the whole thing, a bit better. But they have whole lives, to discover it, or not. Whole lives.
_ _ _
When I went to Utah, it was early one morning, alone. Utah is solemn, but there is also something somehow more matter of fact, about what happened there, which is a crazy kind of a way to regard it. Mostly, at Utah, it worked to script. One of the memorial emplacements is of men running unimpeded off an opened up landing craft, almost as if into possibility. Even along the approach road, you drive through towns that had Shermans rolling through them quite early on during the very first day of local freedom. It really is almost a relief. Walk along by the waves. Give thanks, on a nice new day.
_ _ _
I should probably say a little bit about how I ever came to make these visits.
The 'American' beaches became accessible to me because we were on a family holiday, staying not far from Carentan. (Carentan was a big objective, in the D-Day plans, and near to Carentan was 'Bloody Gulch', and these are places where it was touch and go, and where those same tanks from Utah were argued as vital, and the importance of getting the Mulberry up and running on Omaha has often been underlined in regard to that whole area, so it turned out to be a fairly immersive experience, no matter where we went.)
Oh, and the trip to Gold was on a separate holiday, years before. We went to that beach, all of us, from a differently composed family, because we were in striking distance. But striking distance, too, of Bayeaux, so there was some dilution, and we didn't dare enter the reconstructed Caen. I don't know, but maybe that's a place where they don't wave the flags so openly, and where entry in 1944 became impossible, being abandoned in favour of obliteration.
This brings me to the close of what I remember, and what I feel fit to describe.
_ _ _
Historians and writers will, in time, work back through all of this, with detached lenses. They may ask some difficult questions, which people might not have wanted to be too loud about asking in, say, 1946. Or even in 1994. Or 2024.
Did there have to be an Omaha? Could the landings have worked, without? Failure to succeed was not imaginable, so running with a gap, at the feeder points for where it all maybe nearly faltered anyway, might not have been a bearable gamble?
But then, was Overlord itself needed? In fact, did Britain, or the US (relative to Europe) ever have to get involved in any of the whole of the second world war, at all? What about Russia? How does Russia, and the historical fear of Russia, possibly fit? There is a way of condensing one small section of history to within a strangely neat 200 year band, from 1789 to 1989, and Russia surely can't be ignored, in all of that, and it never was.
Would Russia have managed, with its famous enormity, and with its ability to move industrial bases out of 1940s reach, to grind down yet another overly ambitious infringement of its borders? And then, if it had, and had fought back and taken the whole of Berlin..?
Questions. But isn't the simple truth that it happened, it can't be undone? Why should these kinds of queries ever be raised, why rake up that pain?
Dangerous, for sure. Because, if anyone was ever to seriously argue that complete avoidance was possible, as with Switzerland, then they would also have to give a supporting argument of some kind as to why in the world anyone would get involved in something like a war, if they didn't in fact need to. And then it breaks into separate sub arguments, about the extent to which the lack of need of a conflict is recognised, and partially ignored (which the UK has form for) or whether the risks one way or another of letting things roll, rather than hopefully making sure of influencing outcomes, can't possibly be accurately calculated in the approaches up to 1939, and even beyond. All of this, of course, would need to be considered in the light of what was properly known up to 1939, and not what was found out about afterwards.
No. Not going there.
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A man who's presence I feel very close to, with solid pacifist credentials, found the allied response to Nazi Germany to be a case which was hard to refute. That was my understanding, anyway. This conclusion was not reached, as far as I could see, without nagging reservations. But sometimes, even for those who hate severe violence (and now I am talking about myself) it has to be accepted that not to fight is to choose to be enslaved or to die, and therefore to let the aggressor become master, and/or go free. This may be the case on either an individual or international basis, just the same, but with impossibly different implications. When Japan rained fire on the USA, having declared war after the war had secretly already started, I don't see what other possible response there could have been, right up to the end, with all of its separate questions about reasonable force. So, never say never, is my view, too.
But, again, that's as far as I'm brave enough to go. War in the Pacific, unshakeable. And pacifism, in my view, is brave. When ringing true. Not when used as a lie. The man that I think of, when considering these things, didn't like liars. My take.
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To close, and to explain the title. I remember an echoing comment once made about the relationship of the UK to France, compared to the relationship with America. Calais, compared to Boston. Without the Boston element, I don't personally see how Normandy could have worked, and Calais still took a long, long time to take back, even with that help - and Calais had often needed to be reclaimed, from the 'thieving' grasp of someone or other, going way back. When I was very young, it was cool to say that the yanks were irrelevant latecomers, twice over.
Ok, and what if they'd decided never to come at all, to refuse to once again get involved in mending European faultlines? Maybe the roads from the two separate mulberrys to Berlin involved some friction, between the allies, and maybe that came with some awful costs. But, if we were going to do it at all, we needed to do it together, I came to believe.
Not just get thrown back into the water.
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